Clarissa Harlowe, or the History of a Young Lady - Volume 8 — Letter 9

* Text error: should be Aug.

16. Thank thee, Jack; most heartily I thank thee, for the sober conclusion of thy last!

--I have a good mind, for the sake of it, to forgive thy till now absolutely unpardonable extracts.

But dost think I will lose such an angel, such a forgiving angel, as this?

--By my soul, I will not!

--To pray for mercy for such an ungrateful miscreant!

--how she wounds me, how she cuts me to the soul, by her exalted generosity!

--But SHE must have mercy upon me first!

--then will she teach me a reliance for the sake of which her prayer for me will be answered.

But hasten, hasten to me particulars of her health, of her employments, of her conversation.

I am sick only of love!

Oh!

that I could have called her mine!

--it would then have been worth while to be sick!

--to have sent for her down to me from town; and to have had her, with healing in her dove-like wings, flying to my comfort; her duty and her choice to pray for me, and to bid me live for her sake!

--O Jack!

what an angel have I-- But I have not lost her!

--I will not lose her!

I am almost well; should be quite well but for these prescribing rascals, who, to do credit to their skill, will make the disease of importance.

--And I will make her mine!

--and be sick again, to entitle myself to her dutiful tenderness, and pious as well as personal concern!

God for ever bless her!

--Hasten, hasten particulars of her!

--I am sick of love!

--such generous goodness!

--By all that's great and good, I will not lose her!

--so tell her!

--She says, that she could not pity me, if she thought of being mine!

This, according to Miss Howe's transcriptions to Charlotte.

--But bid her hate me, and have me: and my behaviour to her shall soon turn that hate to love!

for, body and mind, I will be wholly her's. LETTER X