Perverted Proverbs: A Manual of Immorals for the Many — 'Enough is as Good as a Feast.'

What makes Existence _really_ nice Is Virtue--with a dash of Vice.

"_Enough is as Good as a Feast.

_" What is Enough?

An idle dream!

One cannot have enough, I swear, Of Ices or Meringues-and-Cream, Nougat or Chocolate Eclairs, Of Oysters or of Caviar, Of Prawns or Pate de Foie _Grar_!

Who would not willingly forsake Kindred and Home, without a fuss, For Icing from a Birthday Cake, Or juicy fat Asparagus, And journey over countless seas For New Potatoes and Green Peas?

They say that a Contented Mind Is a Continual Feast;--but where The mental frame, and how to find, Which can with Turtle Soup compare?

No mind, however full of Ease, Could be Continual Toasted Cheese.

For dinner have a sole to eat, (Some Perrier Jouet, '92,) An Entree then (and, with the meat, A bottle of Lafitte will do), A quail, a glass of port (just one), Liqueurs and coffee, and you've done.

But should you want a hearty meal, And not this gourmet's lightsome snack, Fill up with terrapin and teal, Clam chowder, crabs and canvasback;

With all varieties of sauce, And diff'rent wines for ev'ry course.

Your tastes may be of simpler type;-- A homely glass of "half-and-half," An onion and a dish of tripe, Or headpiece of the kindly calf.

(Cruel perhaps, but then, you know, "_'Faut tout souffrir pour etre veau!

_") 'Tis a mistake to eat too much Of any dishes but the best;

And you, of course, should never touch A thing you _know_ you can't digest;

For instance, lobster;--if you _do_, Well,--I'm amayonnaised at you!

Let this be your heraldic crest, A bottle (charge) of Champagne, A chicken (gorged) with salad (dress'd), Below, this motto to explain-- "Enough is Very Good, may be;

Too Much is Good Enough for Me!"