Placid Pug, and Other Rhymes — Song for Sidlers

SONG FOR SIDLERS

|THE Crab walks sideways, not because his build `Precludes the possibility of walking straight, And not (as some have thought) that he is filled `With strange and lawless theories on gait;

Still less that he is foolishly self-willed `And prone to show off or exaggerate.

= No serious student of his life and ways `Will venture to impugn his common sense;

His tact and moderation win high praise `Even from those whose faculties are dense And blind to the false issues which they raise `When they accuse him of malevolence.

= "But, ah!"

these shallow hide-bound pedants cry, `"If to the Crab all virtues you concede, If his intentions are not evil, why `This sidelong walk, [Illustration: 047] `These flanking steps that lead To no advancement of Humanity, `No exaltation of the mortal breed?

= "Why not go forward as the Sword-fish goes?

`Or move straight backward, like the jibbing Horse Why this absurd and pitiable pose `That takes delight in any devious course?

Why this dislike to 'following the nose' `Which all the best authorities endorse?"

= Insensate fools.

Swims not the Cod in curves?

`Does not the running Roebuck leap and bound If in his flight the Capercailzie swerves, `Shall he be mocked by every Basset-hound Who, having neither feathers, wings, nor nerves, `Has not the pluck to rise up from the ground?

= Peace, peace, the Crab adopts a side-long walk, `For reasons still impossible to see.

And if his pride permitted him to talk `To any one who did not do as he, His instinct would be, probably, to balk `The hopes of vulgar curiosity.

= And while the schoolmen argue and discuss, `And fill the air with "whats," and "whens," and "whys," And demonstrate as: thus, and thus, and thus, `The crab will pulverise their theories, And put an end to all this foolish fuss `By walking sideways into Paradise.

FRAGMENT FOR PHILOSOPHERS

|IN the abysses of the ocean deeps, `Fathoms removed from men and mortal strife, [Illustration: 050] The unexpectant Oyster smiles and sleeps