Nye and Riley's Wit and Humor — The Gruesome Ballad of Mr. Squincher

The Gruesome Ballad of Mr. Squincher "Ki-yi!"

said Mr. Squincher, As in contemplative pose, He stood before the looking-glass And burnished up his nose, And brushed the dandruff from a span- Spick-splinter suit of clothes,-- "Why, bless you, Mr. Squincher, You're as handsome as a rose!"

[Illustration] "There are some," continued Squincher, As he raised upon his toes To catch his full reflection, And the fascinating bows That graced his legs,--"I reckon There are some folks never knows How beautiful is human legs In pantaloons like those!"

"But ah!"

sighed Mr. Squincher, As a ghastly phantom 'rose And leered above his shoulder Like the deadliest of foes,-- With fleshless arms and fingers, And a skull, with glistening rows Of teeth that crunched and gritted,-- "It's my tailor, I suppose!"

* * * * * They found him in the morning-- So the mystic legend goes-- With the placid face still smiling In its statuesque repose;-- With a lily in his left hand, And in his right a rose, With their fragrance curling upward Through a nimbus 'round his nose.

Anecdotes of Jay Gould