Tales of Laughter — The Princess Whom Nobody Could Silence
“Yes, yes,” answered the woodcock; “but don’t you know that every one thinks his own children the prettiest?
” _The Princess Whom Nobody Could Silence_ There was once upon a time a king, and he had a daughter who would always have the last word; she was so perverse and contrary in her speech that no one could silence her.
So the king therefore promised that he who could outwit the Princess should have her in marriage and half the kingdom besides.
There were plenty of those who wanted to try, I can assure you; for it isn’t every day that a princess and half a kingdom are to be had.
The gate to the palace hardly ever stood still.
The suitors came in swarms and flocks from east and west, both riding and walking.
But there was no one who could silence the Princess.
At last the king announced that those who tried and did not succeed should be branded on both ears with a large iron; he would not have all this running about the palace for nothing.
So there were three brothers who had also heard about the Princess, and as they were rather badly off at home, they thought they would try their luck and see if they could win the Princess and half the kingdom.
They were good friends, and so they agreed to set out together.
When they had got a bit on the way Ashiepattle found a dead magpie.
“I have found something!
I have found something!
” cried he.
“What have you found?
” asked the brothers.
“I have found a dead magpie,” said he.
“Faugh!
throw it away; what can you do with that?
” said the other two, who always believed they were the wisest.
“Oh, I’ve nothing else to do.
I can easily carry it,” said Ashiepattle.
When they had gone on a bit farther Ashiepattle found an old willow twig, which he picked up.
“I have found something!
I have found something!
” he cried.
“What have you found now?
” said the brothers.
“I have found a willow twig,” said he.
“Pooh!
what are you going to do with that?
Throw it away,” said the two.
“I have nothing else to do.
I can easily carry it with me,” said Ashiepattle.
When they had gone still farther he found a broken saucer, which he also picked up.
“Here lads, I have found something!
I have found something!
” said he.
“Well, what have you found now?
” asked the brothers.
“A broken saucer,” said he.
“Pshaw!
Is it worth while dragging that along with you too?
Throw it away!
” said the brothers.
“Oh, I’ve nothing else to do.
I can easily carry it with me,” said Ashiepattle.
When they had gone a little bit farther he found a crooked goat-horn, and soon after he found the fellow to it.
“I have found something!
I have found something, lads!
” said he.
“What have you found now?
” said the others.
“Two goat-horns,” answered Ashiepattle.
“Ugh!
Throw them away!
What are you going to do with them?
” said they.
“Oh, I have nothing else to do.
I can easily carry them with me,” said Ashiepattle.
In a little while he found a wedge.
“I say, lads, I have found something!
I have found something!
” he cried.
“You are everlastingly finding something!
What have you found now?
” asked the two eldest.
“I have found a wedge,” he answered.
“Oh, throw it away!
What are you going to do with it?
” said they.
“Oh, I have nothing else to do.
I can easily carry it with me,” said Ashiepattle.
As he went across the king’s fields, which had been freshly manured, he stooped down and took up an old boot-sole.
“Hullo, lads!
I have found something!
I have found something!
” said he.
“Heaven grant you may find a little sense before you get to the palace!
” said the two.
“What is it you have found now?
” “An old boot-sole,” said he.
“Is that anything worth picking up?
Throw it away!
What are you going to do with it?
” said the brothers.
“Oh, I have nothing else to do.
I can easily carry it with me, and—who knows?
—it may help me to win the Princess and half the kingdom,” said Ashiepattle.
“Yes, you look a likely one, don’t you?
” said the other two.
So they went in to the Princess, the eldest first.
“Good day!
” said he.
“Good day to you!
” answered she, with a shrug.
“It’s terribly hot here,” said he.
“It’s hotter in the fire,” said the Princess.
The branding-iron was lying waiting in the fire.
When he saw this he was struck speechless, and so it was all over with him.
The second brother fared no better.
“Good day!
” said he.
“Good day to you,” said she, with a wriggle.
“It’s terribly hot here!
” said he.
“It’s hotter in the fire,” said she.
With that he lost both speech and wits, and so the iron had to be brought out.
Then came Ashiepattle’s turn.
“Good day!
” said he.
“Good day to you!
” said she, with a shrug and a wriggle.
“It is very nice and warm here!
” said Ashiepattle.
“It’s warmer in the fire,” she answered.
She was in no better humor now she saw the third suitor.
“Then there’s a chance for me to roast my magpie on it,” said he, bringing it out.
“I’m afraid it will sputter,” said the Princess.
“No fear of that!
I’ll tie this willow twig round it,” said the lad.
“You can’t tie it tight enough,” said she.
“Then I’ll drive in a wedge,” said the lad, and brought out the wedge.
“The fat will be running off it,” said the Princess.
“Then I’ll hold this under it,” said the lad, and showed her the broken saucer.
“You are so crooked in your speech,” said the Princess.
“No, I am not crooked,” answered the lad; “but this is crooked”; and he brought out one of the goat-horns.
“Well, I’ve never seen the like!
” cried the Princess.
“Here you see the like,” said he, and brought out the other horn.
“It seems you have come here to wear out my soul!
” she said.
“No, I have not come here to wear out your soul, for I have one here which is already worn out,” answered the lad, and brought out the old boot-sole.
The Princess was so dumfounded at this that she was completely silenced.
“Now you are mine!
” said Ashiepattle, and so he got her and half the kingdom into the bargain.
