My Strange Rescue — Mrs. Grundy's Gobblers

"The best day's work you ever did was when you didn't go off at all.

A

lucky chance, indeed!"

*MRS.

GRUNDY'S GOBBLERS.

* Mrs. Grundy (or, as the boys disrespectfully called her, Mrs. Grumpy) was certainly not a favourite with the young people of Westville.

In the first place, she did not like children.

The fact that she had never been blessed with any of her own no doubt had a great deal to do with this dislike for other people's, which she manifested by vigorous use of hand and tongue at the slightest provocation.

Many a sharp speech and stinging slap did Mrs. Grundy inflict--and not always upon those who deserved it most, either; for so hot was her temper, so hasty her action when irritated, that she would visit her wrath upon the first youngster she could reach, without waiting to investigate the extent of her luckless captive's guilt.

Another reason why Mrs. Grundy was not popular was that, although she owned the finest orchard and garden in all Westville, not one crimson strawberry, purple plum, or golden apple was she ever known to bestow upon boy or girl; and woe betide the adventurous urchin that dared to take one unbidden, even though it be a half-spoiled windfall, if he fell into her strong hands!

Forthwith he was marched off, amid a storm of slaps and scolding, despite his sobs and vows of penitence, into the awful presence of Squire Hardgrit, and, his alarmed parents having been duly summoned, was in their presence condemned to that most appalling of punishments--a whole day in the house of detention!

This method of dealing with the would-be or actual fruit-filchers had one advantage, so far as Mrs. Grundy was concerned--it gave her a sharer in the burden of her unpopularity, which perhaps might otherwise have proved insupportable; for so hard, cold, and unsympathetic was Squire Hardgrit, and such evident pleasure did he take in imposing his penalties, that if the Westville boys hated anybody as cordially as they did Mrs. Grundy, it was certainly the stern, severe squire.

For some time past the relations between these two worthies and the boys had, as the newspapers say about the great Powers, been more than usually strained.

Not content with fiercely defending her garden and orchard from juvenile depredation, Mrs. Grundy had asserted her right to keep everybody off the broad, smooth plot of grass that lay between her cottage and the road, and had been upheld in her claim by the squire, to the profound disgust of the boys, who had long made it their gathering-place in the summer evenings; for although too small to play a game of baseball upon, it was big enough for pitching and catching, chase, leap-frog, and that sort of thing.

This appropriation of the grass plot, which had hitherto been regarded as public property, was quite too much for the boys.

It was the last drop in the cup of bitterness, and in desperation they called a meeting to be held in Thompson's barn on Saturday night to consider the situation.

Saturday night came, and a dozen of the brightest boys of Westville gathered in solemn conclave around a lantern to see if some way could not be devised of getting even with Mrs. Grumpy and the squire.

As the barn belonged to his father, Charlie Thompson was chosen chairman, and he promptly opened the meeting as follows:-- "Now, fellows, we can't stand this sort of thing any longer.

Something must be done, if we perish in the attempt.

The honour of the country demands" (Charlie, whose memory was particularly good, had not yet forgotten the last 4th of July oration) "that measures should be taken to show to our oppressors that we are not slaves and cowards.

The meeting is now open, and the chair will be pleased to receive suggestions."

And amid a vigorous round of boot-heel applause Charlie sat down, feeling that he had proved himself quite equal to the occasion.

For a few moments there was a dead pause, all having some sort of a scheme, more or less hazy, in their heads, but none wishing to speak first.

At last little Tommy Short, the youngest in the group, piped out,-- "Let's tar and feather 'em.

Father has lots of tar in his back shop, and I know where there's a big pot."

A roar of laughter greeted this suggestion, the impracticability of which was exceeded only by its absurdity, could it have been carried out.

Dame Grundy and Squire Hardgrit would certainly have made a most mirth-provoking sight, done up in suits of tar and feathers.

The speech served its purpose, however, in loosening the other tongues, and plans and projects now poured in thick and fast.

"S'pose we burn their barns down," said Dick Wilding, who was a great reader of cheap-novel literature.

But all the rest shouted "No" at once.

"What do you say to ham-stringing their horses?"

asked Bob Henderson, in rather a dubious tone, as if he had not much confidence in the wisdom of his scheme, which, in fact, just occurred to him because he had read that that was the way the Arabs treat their enemies' horses when they get the chance.

"Stuff and nonsense!"

cried the chairman.

"That's not the sort of thing we mean at all.

We're not hankering after the penitentiary."

"Give us your plan, then, Mr. Chairman," said Dick Wilding.

"Well, fellows, I'll tell you what I was thinking of.

Let us hook the old lady's gobblers, and hide them until she thinks they're gone for good.

You know what a heap she thinks of them, and it will worry her awfully to lose them."

"Capital!

capital!"

shouted the rest of the boys "The very thing!"

"But where shall we hide them?"

asked Sam Lawson.

"It'll have to be a pretty safe place, for Mrs. Grumpy will turn the town upside down hunting for her precious turkeys, you may be sure."

While all this talk was going on, Harold Kent had been sitting on an upturned box which served him as a chair, without opening his mouth.

Now, however, taking advantage of the pause which followed Sam's question, he said quietly,-- "Why not hide the gobblers in one of the empty rooms in Squire Hardgrit's building?

You know, the squire's been trying to get these Bronze Gobblers from Mrs. Grumpy for ever so long, and she won't let him have them; and if they're found on his premises, she'll be sure to think that he had something to do with hooking them."

It was just like Harold to propose something so original and daring in its conception as to fairly take his companions' breath away, and they now looked at him with feelings divided between admiration and amazement.

The chairman was the first to speak.

Bringing his hand down upon his knee with a crack that made the others jump, he cried,-- "Magnificent!

Boys, we'll do it, or perish in the attempt."

Whereat the others shouted in chorus,-- "Hoorah!

We'll do it!"

"Since we're all agreed, then," said Charlie, "the next business before the meeting is to plan how to do it."

As before, all sorts of wild suggestions were put forward, and again it was left for Harold Kent to advance the most practicable scheme.

This was it: the shed in which Mrs. Grundy's famous flock of turkeys was carefully secured at night stood at some distance to the back of her house, and as she slept in one of the front rooms, there was slight risk of her seeing or hearing anything.

What Harold proposed was, that, slipping out of their rooms after everybody was asleep, they should meet behind the turkey-shed, bringing with them three gunny sacks and a dark lantern.

Having got the gobblers safely into the sacks, they would then creep round the back way to the building in which the squire's office was situated, climb in through a lower window, and so upstairs to the room in which the turkeys were to be left.

"You've a great head, Hal," said Jack Wilding admiringly, when all this had been detailed, "and you can count on us every time--can't he, boys?"

"You bet he can," chorused the crowd.

A satisfactory plan of campaign having thus been settled upon, the meeting was adjourned until Monday midnight, then to assemble behind Mrs. Grundy's turkey-shed.

The eventful night came; and as midnight drew near, one by one the boys gathered with throbbing hearts at the rendezvous.

At length all but Tommy Short, whose courage had failed him, and Bob Henderson, whose father had nabbed him in the act of slipping out, and sent him back to bed with a spank, turned up.

[Illustration: "THEY WERE TOO BEWILDERED BY THE BLAZE TO MAKE ANY NOISE.

_Page_ 227"] It was an intensely dark night and blowing half a gale.

all of which was in favour of the enterprise.

The shed door was found to be simply secured with a wooden latch, and lifting this the conspirators tip-toed inside; and then Charlie Thompson, who carried the dark lantern, suddenly turned its glare full upon the startled gobblers as they nodded solemnly side by side upon their roost.

They were too bewildered by the blaze to make any noise, and before they could recover their self-possession sufficiently to exclaim at so extraordinary an apparition, the other boys had stepped behind them, and with quick, deft movements slipped the big sacks over their heads, thus reducing them at one bold stroke to helpless captives.

The poor turkeys struggled and "gobbled" a good deal in their narrow quarters, but all to no purpose; and full of terror, no doubt, at their strange treatment, were hurried out of the shed into the lane, and thence through dark and silent ways to the rear of the squire's building.

Here the conspirators paused for breath and consultation.

"Now, fellows," whispered Harold Kent, "we needn't all go inside, you know.

I'll take the lantern, while the three biggest of you carry the gobblers, and the rest will stay here until we come back."

Somewhat reluctantly this was assented to, for all wanted to share the danger as well as the fun; and then Harold, lantern in hand, followed by Dick Wilding, Sam Shaw, and Frank Cushing, each bending beneath a bag of struggling, "gobbling" turkey, climbed in through the low window, crept softly in stocking feet along the narrow hall and up the creaking stairs; while their companions, with hearts beating like trip-hammers, shrank close together in the darkest corner outside and anxiously awaited their return.

It was no easy task that the four boys had in hand.

True enough that the building was uninhabited at night, but there were people living next door, and any unusual noise could hardly fail to be heard through those thin wooden walls; while, late as the hour was, the sound of footsteps on the plank side-walks would ever and anon send a chill of terror through the anxious watchers below.

Moreover, to carry three big turkeys up a flight of stairs and deposit them in an empty room without filling the whole place with their noise was the hardest part of all.

Nevertheless they succeeded admirably.

Five minutes after they disappeared they rejoined their companions, trembling but triumphant, having left their captives in good order and condition in the front room, just across the room from Squire Hardgrit's office, where they would be certain to make themselves seen and heard in the morning.

This done, the boys scattered to their homes, creeping back noiselessly to their beds, in which, being thoroughly tired out, they slept as soundly until morning as if they had not been up to any mischief whatever.

The great gathering-place of the Westville boys was the blacksmith's forge, which stood across the road from Mrs. Grundy's, and thither the conspirators came one by one the following morning in expectation of seeing the fun.

Nor were they disappointed.

Their enemy thought too much of her precious turkeys to intrust any person else with the duty of feeding them, and so every morning carried them a big dish of corn-meal mush after she had finished her own breakfast.

"There she goes!"

exclaimed Dick Wilding presently, as the boys were laughing and talking somewhat nervously together.

And, sure enough, Mrs. Grundy's portly figure emerged from the house and went slowly toward the shed.

Soon after a sharp cry of "Susan!

Susan!"

cut the still morning air, and the prim maid-servant was observed to hurry to her mistress.

A moment later the two women could be observed running hither and thither through the garden and orchard, calling, "Turkey!

turkey!

turkey!"

at the top of their voices.

Great indeed was Mrs. Grundy's concern, and soon the whole neighbourhood was made aware of her loss.

"It's those rascally gipsies, sure's I'm alive," she cried.

"Who else would steal my beautiful gobblers, that I wouldn't sell even to the squire?

I'll have every one of them sent to jail, see if I don't. Just wait till the squire comes!"

And so she stormed while awaiting the arrival of the squire at his office.

The moment he appeared she poured her woful tale into his ears, while a curious crowd gathered outside, eager to see what the majesty of the law could effect.

Most prominent in the crowd were, of course, the boys, who alone held the clue to the mystery, and were now eagerly expecting the grand _denouement_.

It was not long in coming.

Mrs. Grundy had only about half finished her confused recital of facts, suspicions, and theories to the gravely listening squire, when a vigorous "Gobble-gobble-gobble!"

was distinctly heard coming from somewhere near at hand, just as a shout broke in from the street of,-- "There they are--up in Squire Hardgrit's room!

Look at them!"

Before the squire could take in the situation, his excited client sprang to her feet, rushed out of the office, across the hall, threw open the door into the opposite room, and there, behold!

as large as life, and as cross as three gobblers could be, were her missing turkeys, who, the instant the door was opened, charged straight through it, almost upsetting their mistress, and went flapping violently downstairs and out into the street, where they were greeted with a shout of laughter from the surprised spectators.

It would be impossible with either pen or pencil to give an adequate conception of the old lady's countenance as she returned to the squire's office, and met that worthy magistrate just rising from his chair.

Surprise, suspicion, indignation, and wrath chased one another swiftly across her features, and, once her feelings found utterance, there was poured upon the amazed squire such a torrent of reproach and contumely that he was fairly stunned into silence; and before he could recover himself sufficiently to make his defence, his accuser, with a scornful swing of her ample skirts that was simply magnificent, flounced out of the office, while he sank back into his chair, the very picture of helpless bewilderment.

That he, Squire Hardgrit, the incorruptible guardian of the people's rights, should be suspected of having stolen, or causing to have stolen for him, the turkeys of a neighbour, whose situation as a lone widow was such as to make the crime seem particularly heinous--that any person should for one moment suspect anything so abominable; and not only suspect it, but charge him to his face with his supposed guilt before the whole village (for the squire was well aware that Mrs. Grundy's shrill utterances had been audible clear across the street), it was awful, perfectly awful, and not to be borne for a moment!

He must see Mrs. Grundy immediately, and compel her to listen to him.

Accordingly, away he posted to the widow's cottage, where he arrived just in time to check the poor dame from going off into a fit of hysterics.

Her turkeys being once more safely in her yard, and her anger pretty well abated, Mrs. Grundy was quite willing to listen believingly to the squire's indignant denials, and graciously accept his assurance that no pains would be spared to ferret out the real delinquents.

The former harmony was restored, and an alliance, offensive and defensive, sealed with a glass of gooseberry wine, for both were strongly of the opinion that "those wicked wretches of boys" were at the bottom of the whole mischief.

Thanks to those same boys holding their tongues, however, neither Mrs. Grundy nor the squire could ever get hold on any evidence more solid than their own suspicions, and they both had too much sense to take any action upon them.

But the nocturnal travels of the turkeys were not in vain; for their mistress, realizing that the boys, if pressed too far, might do something worse next time, thought it wise to mitigate her severity toward them, and even softened to the extent of calling a lot of them into her orchard that very autumn to fill their pockets with the windfalls.

This stroke of diplomacy was not lost upon the boys, who reciprocated after their own fashion: and thus matters went smoothly on, until at length most harmonious relations were established, and in all the countryside no creatures were safer from the youngsters' mischief than Mrs. Grundy's gobblers.