Crimson Gardenia And Other Tales Of Adventure — The Weight Of Obligation

THE WEIGHT OF OBLIGATION

This is the story of a burden, the tale of a load that irked a strong man's shoulders.

To those who do not know the North it may seem strange, but to those who understand the humors of men in solitude, and the extravagant vagaries that steal in upon their minds, as fog drifts with the night, it will not appear unusual.

There are spirits in the wilderness, eerie forces which play pranks; some droll or whimsical, others grim.

Johnny Cantwell and Mortimer Grant were partners, trail-mates, brothers in soul if not in blood.

The ebb and flood of frontier life had brought them together, its hardships had united them until they were as one.

They were something of a mystery to each other, neither having surrendered all his confidence, and because of this they retained their mutual attraction.

Had they known each other fully, had they thoroughly sounded each other's depths, they would have lost interest, just like husbands and wives who give themselves too freely and reserve nothing.

They had met by accident, but they remained together by desire, and so satisfactory was the union that not even the jealousy of women had come between them.

There had been women, of course, just as there had been adventures of other sorts, but the love of the partners was larger and finer than anything else they had experienced.

It was so true and fine and unselfish, in fact, that either would have smilingly relinquished the woman of his desires had the other wished to possess her.

They were young, strong men, and the world was full of sweethearts, but where was there a partnership like theirs, they asked themselves.

The spirit of adventure bubbled merrily within them, too, and it led them into curious byways.

It was this which sent them northward from the States in the dead of winter, on the heels of the Stony River strike; it was this which induced them to land at Katmai instead of Illiamna, whither their land journey should have commenced.

"There are two routes over the coast range," the captain of the _Dora_ told them, "and only two.

Illiamna Pass is low and easy, but the distance is longer than by way of Katmai.

I can land you at either place."

"Katmai is pretty tough, isn't it?"

Grant inquired.

"We've understood it's the worst pass in Alaska."

Cantwell's eyes were eager.

"It's a heller!

Nobody travels it except natives, and they don't like it.

Now, Illiamna--" "We'll try Katmai.

Eh, Mort?"

"Sure!

They don't come hard enough for us, Cap.

We'll see if it's as bad as it's painted."

So, one gray January morning they were landed on a frozen beach, their outfit was flung ashore through the surf, the life-boat pulled away, and the _Dora_ disappeared after a farewell toot of her whistle.

Their last glimpse of her showed the captain waving good-by and the purser flapping a red table-cloth at them from the after-deck.

"Cheerful place, this," Grant remarked, as he noted the desolate surroundings of dune and hillside.

The beach itself was black and raw where the surf washed it, but elsewhere all was white, save for the thickets of alder and willow which protruded nakedly.

The bay was little more than a hollow scooped out of the Alaskan range; along the foot-hills behind there was a belt of spruce and cottonwood and birch.

It was a lonely and apparently unpeopled wilderness in which they had been set down.

"Seems good to be back in the North again, doesn't it?"

said Cantwell, cheerily.

"I'm tired of the booze, and the street-cars, and the dames, and all that civilized stuff.

I'd rather be broke in Alaska--with you--than a banker's son, back home."

Soon a globular Russian half-breed, the Katmai trader, appeared among the dunes, and with him were some native villagers.

That night the partners slept in a snug log cabin, the roof of which was chained down with old ships' cables.

Petellin, the fat little trader, explained that roofs in Katmai had a way of sailing off to seaward when the wind blew.

He listened to their plan of crossing the divide and nodded.

It could be done, of course, he agreed, but they were foolish to try it, when the Illiamna route was open.

Still, now that they were here, he would find dogs for them, and a guide.

The village hunters were out after meat, however, and until they returned the white men would need to wait in patience.

There followed several days of idleness, during which Cantwell and Grant amused themselves around the village, teasing the squaws, playing games with the boys, and flirting harmlessly with the girls, one of whom, in particular, was not unattractive.

She was perhaps three-quarters Aleut, the other quarter being plain coquette, and, having been educated at the town of Kodiak, she knew the ways and the wiles of the white man.

Cantwell approached her, and she met his extravagant advances more than half-way.

They were getting along nicely together when Grant, in a spirit of fun, entered the game and won her fickle smiles for himself.

He joked his partner unmercifully, and Johnny accepted defeat gracefully, never giving the matter a second thought.

When the hunters returned, dogs were bought, a guide was hired, and, a week after landing, the friends were camped at timber-line awaiting a favorable moment for their dash across the range.

Above them white hillsides rose in irregular leaps to the gash in the saw-toothed barrier which formed the pass; below them a short valley led down to Katmai and the sea.

The day was bright, the air clear, nevertheless after the guide had stared up at the peaks for a time he shook his head, then re-entered the tent and lay down.

The mountains were "smoking"; from their tops streamed a gossamer veil which the travelers knew to be drifting snow-clouds carried by the wind.

It meant delay, but they were patient.

They were up and going on the following morning, however, with the Indian in the lead.

There was no trail; the hills were steep; in places they were forced to unload the sled and hoist their outfit by means of ropes, and as they mounted higher the snow deepened.

It lay like loose sand, only lighter; it shoved ahead of the sled in a feathery mass; the dogs wallowed in it and were unable to pull, hence the greater part of the work devolved upon the men.

Once above the foot-hills and into the range proper, the going became more level, but the snow remained knee-deep.

The Indian broke trail stolidly; the partners strained at the sled, which hung back like a leaden thing.

By afternoon the dogs had become disheartened and refused to heed the whip.

There was neither fuel nor running water, and therefore the party did not pause for luncheon.

The men were sweating profusely from their exertions and had long since become parched with thirst, but the dry snow was like chalk and scoured their throats.

Cantwell was the first to show the effects of his unusual exertions, for not only had he assumed a lion's share of the work, but the last few months of easy living had softened his muscles, and in consequence his vitality was quickly spent.

His undergarments were drenched; he was fearfully dry inside; a terrible thirst seemed to penetrate his whole body; he was forced to rest frequently.

Grant eyed him with some concern, finally inquiring, "Feel bad, Johnny?"

Cantwell nodded.

Their fatigue made both men economical of language.

"What's the matter?"

"Thirsty!"

The former could barely speak.

"There won't be any water till we get across.

You'll have to stand it."

They resumed their duties; the Indian "swish-swished" ahead, as if wading through a sea of swan's-down; the dogs followed listlessly; the partners leaned against the stubborn load.

A faint breath finally came out of the north, causing Grant and the guide to study the sky anxiously.

Cantwell was too weary to heed the increasing cold.

The snow on the slopes above began to move; here and there, on exposed ridges, it rose in clouds and puffs; the clean-cut outlines of the hills became obscured as by a fog; the languid wind bit cruelly.

After a time Johnny fell back upon the sled and exclaimed: "I'm--all in, Mort.

Don't seem to have the--guts."

He was pale, his eyes were tortured.

He scooped a mitten full of snow and raised it to his lips, then spat it out, still dry.

"Here!

Brace up!"

In a panic of apprehension at this collapse Grant shook him; he had never known Johnny to fail like this.

"Take a drink of booze; it'll do you good."

He drew a bottle of brandy from one of the dunnage bags and Cantwell seized it avidly.

It was wet; it would quench his thirst, he thought.

Before Mort could check him he had drunk a third of the contents.

The effect was almost instantaneous, for Cantwell's stomach was empty and his tissues seemed to absorb the liquor like a dry sponge; his fatigue fell away, he became suddenly strong and vigorous again.

But before he had gone a hundred yards the reaction followed.

First his mind grew thick, then his limbs became unmanageable and his muscles flabby.

He was drunk.

Yet it was a strange and dangerous intoxication, against which he struggled desperately.

He fought it for perhaps a quarter of a mile before it mastered him; then he gave up.

Both men knew that stimulants are never taken on the trail, but they had never stopped to reason why, and even now they did not attribute Johnny's breakdown to the brandy.

After a while he stumbled and fell, then, the cool snow being grateful to his face, he sprawled there motionless until Mort dragged him to the sled.

He stared at his partner in perplexity and laughed foolishly.

The wind was increasing, darkness was near, they had not yet reached the Bering slope.

Something in the drunken man's face frightened Grant and, extracting a ship's biscuit from the grub-box, he said, hurriedly: "Here, Johnny.

Get something under your belt, quick."

Cantwell obediently munched the hard cracker, but there was no moisture on his tongue; his throat was paralyzed; the crumbs crowded themselves from the corners of his lips.

He tried with limber fingers to stuff them down, or to assist the muscular action of swallowing, but finally expelled them in a cloud.

Mort drew the parka hood over his partner's head, for the wind cut like a scythe and the dogs were turning tail to it, digging holes in the snow for protection.

The air about them was like yeast; the light was fading.

The Indian snow-shoed his way back, advising a quick camp until the storm abated, but to this suggestion Grant refused to listen, knowing only too well the peril of such a course.

Nor did he dare take Johnny on the sled, since the fellow was half asleep already, but instead whipped up the dogs and urged his companion to follow as best he could.

When Cantwell fell, for a second time, he returned, dragged him forward, and tied his wrists firmly, yet loosely, to the load.

The storm was pouring over them now, like water out of a spout; it seared and blinded them; its touch was like that of a flame.

Nevertheless they struggled on into the smother, making what headway they could.

The Indian led, pulling at the end of a rope; Grant strained at the sled and hoarsely encouraged the dogs; Cantwell stumbled and lurched in the rear like an unwilling prisoner.

When he fell his companion lifted him, then beat him, cursed him, tried in every way to rouse him from his lethargy.

After an interminable time they found they were descending and this gave them heart to plunge ahead more rapidly.

The dogs began to trot as the sled overran them; they rushed blindly into gullies, fetching up at the bottom in a tangle, and Johnny followed in a nerveless, stupefied condition.

He was dragged like a sack of flour, for his legs were limp and he lacked muscular control, but every dash, every fall, every quick descent drove the sluggish blood through his veins and cleared his brain momentarily.

Such moments were fleeting, however; much of the time his mind was a blank, and it was only by a mechanical effort that he fought off unconsciousness.

He had vague memories of many beatings at Mort's hands, of the slippery clean-swept ice of a stream over which he limply skidded, of being carried into a tent where a candle flickered and a stove roared.

Grant was holding something hot to his lips, and then-- It was morning.

He was weak and sick; he felt as if he had awakened from a hideous dream.

"I played out, didn't I?"

he queried, wonderingly.

"You sure did," Grant laughed.

"It was a tight squeak, old boy.

I never thought I'd get you through."

"Played out!

I--can't understand it."

Cantwell prided himself on his strength and stamina, therefore the truth was unbelievable.

He and Mort had long been partners, they had given and taken much at each other's hands, but this was something altogether different.

Grant had saved his life, at risk of his own; the older man's endurance had been the greater and he had used it to good advantage.

It embarrassed Johnny tremendously to realize that he had proven unequal to his share of the work, for he had never before experienced such an obligation.

He apologized repeatedly during the few days he lay sick, and meanwhile Mort waited upon him like a mother.

Cantwell was relieved when at last they had abandoned camp, changed guides at the next village, and were on their way along the coast, for somehow he felt very sensitive about his collapse.

He was, in fact, extremely ashamed of himself.

Once he had fully recovered he had no further trouble, but soon rounded into fit condition and showed no effects of his ordeal.

Day after day he and Mort traveled through the solitudes, their isolation broken only by occasional glimpses of native villages, where they rested briefly and renewed their supply of dog-feed.

But although the younger man was now as well and strong as ever, he was uncomfortably conscious that his trail-mate regarded him as the weaker of the two and shielded him in many ways.

Grant performed most of the unpleasant tasks, and occasionally cautioned Johnny about overdoing.

This protective attitude at first amused, then offended Cantwell; it galled him until he was upon the point of voicing his resentment, but reflected that he had no right to object, for, judging by past performances, he had proved his inferiority.

This uncomfortable realization forever arose to prevent open rebellion, but he asserted himself secretly by robbing Grant of his self-appointed tasks.

He rose first in the mornings, he did the cooking, he lengthened his turns ahead of the dogs, he mended harness after the day's hike had ended.

Of course the older man objected, and for a time they had a good-natured rivalry as to who should work and who should rest--only it was not quite so good-natured on Cantwell's part as he made it appear.

Mort broke out in friendly irritation one day: "Don't try to do everything, Johnny.

Remember I'm no cripple."

"Humph!

You proved that.

I guess it's up to me to do your work."

"Oh, forget that day on the pass, can't you?"

Johnny grunted a second time, and from his tone it was evident that he would never forget, unpleasant though the memory remained.

Sensing his sullen resentment, the other tried to rally him, but made a bad job of it.

The humor of men in the open is not delicate; their wit and their words become coarsened in direct proportion as they revert to the primitive; it is one effect of the solitudes.

Grant spoke extravagantly, mockingly, of his own superiority in a way which ordinarily would have brought a smile to Cantwell's lips, but the latter did not smile.

He taunted Johnny humorously on his lack of physical prowess, his lack of good looks and manly qualities--something which had never failed to result in a friendly exchange of badinage; he even teased him about his defeat with the Katmai girl.

Cantwell did respond finally, but afterward he found himself wondering if Mort could have been in earnest.

He dismissed the thought with some impatience.

But men on the trail have too much time for their thoughts;

there is nothing in the monotonous routine of the day's work to distract them, so the partner who had played out dwelt more and more upon his debt and upon his friend's easy assumption of pre-eminence.

The weight of obligation began to chafe him, lightly at first, but with ever-increasing discomfort.

He began to think that Grant honestly considered himself the better man, merely because chance had played into his hands.

It was silly, even childish, to dwell on the subject, he reflected, and yet he could not banish it from his mind.

It was always before him, in one form or another.

He felt the strength in his lean muscles, and sneered at the thought that Mort should be deceived.

If it came to a physical test he felt sure he could break his slighter partner with his bare hands, and as for endurance--well, he was hungry for a chance to demonstrate it.

They talked little; men seldom converse in the wastes, for there is something about the silence of the wilderness which discourages speech.

And no land is so grimly silent, so hushed and soundless, as the frozen North.

For days they marched through desolation, without glimpse of human habitation, without sight of track or trail, without sound of a human voice to break the monotony.

There was no game in the country, with the exception of an occasional bird or rabbit, nothing but the white hills, the fringe of alder-tops along the watercourses, and the thickets of gnarled, unhealthy spruce in the smothered valleys.

Their destination was a mysterious stream at the headwaters of the unmapped Kuskokwim, where rumor said there was gold, and whither they feared other men were hastening from the mining country far to the north.

Now it is a penalty of the White Country that men shall think of women.

The open life brings health and vigor, strength and animal vitality, and these clamor for play.

The cold of the still, clear days is no more biting than the fierce memories and appetites which charge through the brain at night.

Passions intensify with imprisonment, recollections come to life, longings grow vivid and wild.

Thoughts change to realities, the past creeps close, and dream figures are filled with blood and fire.

One remembers pleasures and excesses, women's smiles, women's kisses, the invitation of outstretched arms.

Wasted opportunities mock at one.

Cantwell began to brood upon the Katmai girl, for she was the last; her eyes were haunting and distance had worked its usual enchantment.

He reflected that Mort had shouldered him aside and won her favor, then boasted of it.

Johnny awoke one night with a dream of her, and lay quivering.

"Hell!

She was only a squaw," he said, half aloud.

"If I'd really tried--" Grant lay beside him, snoring, the heat of their bodies intermingled.

The waking man tried to compose himself, but his partner's stertorous breathing irritated him beyond measure; for a long time he remained motionless, staring into the gray blur of the tent-top.

He had played out.

He owed his life to the man who had cheated him of the Katmai girl, and that man knew it.

He had become a weak, helpless thing, dependent upon another's strength, and that other now accepted his superiority as a matter of course.

The obligation was insufferable, and--it was unjust.

The North had played him a devilish trick, it had betrayed him, it had bound him to his benefactor with chains of gratitude which were irksome.

Had they been real chains they could have galled him no more than at this moment.

As time passed the men spoke less frequently to each other.

Grant joshed his mate roughly, once or twice, masking beneath an assumption of jocularity his own vague irritation at the change that had come over them.

It was as if he had probed at an open wound with clumsy fingers.

Cantwell had by this time assumed most of those petty camp tasks which provoke tired trailers, those humdrum duties which are so trying to exhausted nerves, and of course they wore upon him as they wear upon every man.

But, once he had taken them over, he began to resent Grant's easy relinquishment; it rankled him to realize how willingly the other allowed him to do the cooking, the dish-washing, the fire-building, the bed-making.

Little monotonies of this kind form the hardest part of winter travel, they are the rocks upon which friendships founder and partnerships are wrecked.

Out on the trail, nature equalizes the work to a great extent, and no man can shirk unduly, but in camp, inside the cramped confines of a tent pitched on boughs laid over the snow, it is very different.

There one must busy himself while the other rests and keeps his legs out of the way if possible.

One man sits on the bedding at the rear of the shelter, and shivers, while the other squats over a tantalizing fire of green wood, blistering his face and parboiling his limbs inside his sweaty clothing.

Dishes must be passed, food divided, and it is poor food, poorly prepared at best.

Sometimes men criticize and voice longings for better grub and better cooking.

Remarks of this kind have been known to result in tragedies, bitter words and flaming curses--then, perhaps, wild actions, memories of which the later years can never erase.

It is but one prank of the wilderness, one grim manifestation of its silent forces.

Had Grant been unable to do his part Cantwell would have willingly accepted the added burden, but Mort was able, he was nimble and "handy," he was the better cook of the two; in fact, he was the better man in every way--or so he believed.

Cantwell sneered at the last thought, and the memory of his debt was like bitter medicine.

His resentment--in reality nothing more than a phase of insanity begot of isolation and silence--could not help but communicate itself to his companion, and there resulted a mutual antagonism, which grew into a dislike, then festered into something more, something strange, reasonless, yet terribly vivid and amazingly potent for evil.

Neither man ever mentioned it--their tongues were clenched between their teeth and they held themselves in check with harsh hands--but it was constantly in their minds, nevertheless.

No man who has not suffered the manifold irritations of such an intimate association can appreciate the gnawing canker of animosity like this.

It was dangerous because there was no relief from it: the two were bound together as by gyves; they shared each other's every action and every plan; they trod in each other's tracks, slept in the same bed, ate from the same plate.

They were like prisoners ironed to the same staple.

Each fought the obsession in his own way, but it is hard to fight the impalpable, hence their sick fancies grew in spite of themselves.

Their minds needed food to prey upon, but found none.

Each began to criticize the other silently, to sneer at his weaknesses, to meditate derisively upon his peculiarities.

After a time they no longer resisted the advance of these poisonous thoughts, but welcomed it.

On more than one occasion the embers of their wrath were upon the point of bursting into flame, but each realized that the first ill-considered word would serve to slip the leash from those demons that were straining to go free, and so managed to restrain himself.

The crisis came one crisp morning when a dog-team whirled around a bend in the river and a white man hailed them.

He was the mail-carrier, on his way out from Nome, and he brought news of the "inside."

"Where are you boys bound for?"

he inquired when greetings were over and gossip of the trail had passed.

"We're going to the Stony River strike," Grant told him.

"Stony River?

Up the Kuskokwim?"

"Yes!"

The mail-man laughed.

"Can you beat that?

Ain't you heard about Stony River?"

"No!"

"Why, it's a fake--no such place."

There was a silence; the partners avoided each other's eyes.

"MacDonald, the fellow that started it, is on his way to Dawson.

There's a gang after him, too, and if he's caught it'll go hard with him.

He wrote the letters--to himself--and spread the news just to raise a grub-stake.

He cleaned up big before they got onto him.

He peddled his tips for real money."

"Yes!"

Grant spoke quietly.

"Johnny bought one.

That's what brought us from Seattle.

We went out on the last boat and figured we'd come in from this side before the break-up.

So--fake!

By God!"

"Gee!

You fellers bit good."

The mail-carrier shook his head.

"Well!

You'd better keep going now; you'll get to Nome before the season opens.

Better take dog-fish from Bethel--it's four bits a pound on the Yukon.

Sorry I didn't hit your camp last night; we'd 'a' had a visit.

Tell the gang that you saw me."

He shook hands ceremoniously, yelled at his panting dogs, and went swiftly on his way, waving a mitten on high as he vanished around the next bend.

The partners watched him go, then Grant turned to Johnny, and repeated: "Fake!

By God!

MacDonald stung you."

Cantwell's face went as white as the snow behind him, his eyes blazed.

"Why did you tell him I bit?"

he demanded, harshly.

"Hunh!

_Didn't_ you bite?

Two thousand miles afoot; three months of hell; for nothing.

That's biting some."

"_Well!

_" The speaker's face was convulsed, and Grant's flamed with an answering anger.

They glared at each other for a moment.

"Don't blame me.

You fell for it, too."

"I--" Mort checked his rushing words.

"Yes, _you_!

Now, what are you going to do about it?

Welch?"

"I'm going through to Nome."

The sight of his partner's rage had set Mort to shaking with a furious desire to fly at his throat, but, fortunately, he retained a spark of sanity.

"Then shut up, and quit chewing the rag.

You--talk too damned much."

Mort's eyes were bloodshot; they fell upon the carbine under the sled lashings, and lingered there, then wavered.

He opened his lips, reconsidered, spoke softly to the team, then lifted the heavy dog-whip and smote the malamutes with all his strength.

The men resumed their journey without further words, but each was cursing inwardly.

"So!

I talk too much," Grant thought.

The accusation struck in his mind and he determined to speak no more.

"He blames me," Cantwell reflected, bitterly.

"I'm in wrong again and he couldn't keep his mouth shut.

A hell of a partner, he is!"

All day they plodded on, neither trusting himself to speak.

They ate their evening meal like mutes; they avoided each other's eyes.

Even the guide noticed the change and looked on curiously.

There were two robes and these the partners shared nightly, but their hatred had grown so during the past few hours that the thought of lying side by side, limb to limb, was distasteful.

Yet neither dared suggest a division of the bedding, for that would have brought further words and resulted in the crash which they longed for, but feared.

They stripped off their furs, and lay down beside each other with the same repugnance they would have felt had there been a serpent in the couch.

This unending malevolent silence became terrible.

The strain of it increased, for each man now had something definite to cherish in the words and the looks that had passed.

They divided the camp work with scrupulous nicety, each man waited upon himself and asked no favors.

The knowledge of his debt forever chafed Cantwell; Grant resented his companion's lack of gratitude.

Of course they spoke occasionally--it was beyond human endurance to remain entirely dumb--but they conversed in monosyllables, about trivial things, and their voices were throaty, as if the effort choked them.

Meanwhile they continued to glow inwardly at a white heat.

Cantwell no longer felt the desire to merely match his strength against Grant's; the estrangement had become too wide for that; a physical victory would have been flat and tasteless; he craved some deeper satisfaction.

He began to think of the ax--just how or when or why he never knew.

It was a thin-bladed, polished thing of frosty steel, and the more he thought of it the stronger grew his impulse to rid himself once for all of that presence which exasperated him.

It would be very easy, he reasoned; a sudden blow, with the weight of his shoulders behind it--he fancied he could feel the bit sink into Grant's flesh, cleaving bone and cartilages in its course--a slanting downward stroke, aimed at the neck where it joined the body, and he would be forever satisfied.

It would be ridiculously simple.

He practised in the gloom of evening as he felled spruce-trees for fire-wood; he guarded the ax religiously; it became a living thing which urged him on to violence.

He saw it standing by the tent-fly when he closed his eyes to sleep; he dreamed of it; he sought it out with his eyes when he first awoke.

He slid it loosely under the sled lashings every morning, thinking that its use could not long be delayed.

As for Grant, the carbine dwelt forever in his mind, and his fingers itched for it.

He secretly slipped a cartridge into the chamber, and when an occasional ptarmigan offered itself for a target he saw the white spot on the breast of Johnny's reindeer parka, dancing ahead of the Lyman bead.