Bill Nye's Cordwood — The Bronco Cow

THE BRONCO COW.

BILL NYE UNDERTAKES TO MILK HER WHEN THE SIGN IS NOT RIGHT--DISASTROUS RESULTS.

When I was young and used to roam around over the country, gathering water-melons in the dark of the moon, I used to think I could milk anybody's cow, but I do not think so now.

I do not milk a cow now unless the sign is right, and it hasn't been right for a good many years.

The last cow I tried to milk was a common cow, born in obscurity; kind of a self-made cow.

I remember her brow was low, but she wore her tail high and she was haughty, oh, so haughty.

I made a common-place remark to her, one that is used in the very best of society, one that need not have given offense anywhere.

I said "so"--and she "soed".

Then I told her to "histe"--and she histed.

But I thought she overdid it.

She put too much expression in it.

Just then I heard something crash through the window of the barn and fall with a dull, sickening thud on the outside.

The neighbors came to see what it was that caused the noise.

They found that I had done it in getting through the window.

I asked the neighbors if the barn was still standing.

They said it was.

Then I asked if the cow was injured much.

They said she seemed to be quite robust.

Then I requested them to go in and calm the cow a little and see if they could get my plug hat off her horns.