Suppressed Poems of Alfred Lord Tennyson — The Lover's Tale, part 2

Hither we came, And sitting down upon the golden moss Held converse sweet and low--low converse sweet, In which our voices bore least part.

The wind Told a love-tale beside us, how he woo'd The waters, and the crisp'd waters lisp'd The kisses of the wind, that, sick with love, Fainted at intervals, and grew again To utterance of passion.

Ye cannot shape Fancy so fair as is this memory.

Methought all excellence that ever was Had drawn herself from many thousand years, And all the separate Edens of this earth, To centre in this place and time.

I listen'd, And her words stole with most prevailing sweetness Into my heart, as thronged fancies come, All unawares, into the poet's brain;

Or as the dew-drops on the petal hung, When summer winds break their soft sleep with sighs, Creep down into the bottom of the flower.

Her words were like a coronal of wild blooms Strung in the very negligence of Art, Or in the art of Nature, where each rose Doth faint upon the bosom of the other, Flooding its angry cheek with odorous tears.

So each with each inwoven lived with each, And were in union more than double-sweet.

What marvel my Camilla told me all?

It was so happy an hour, so sweet a place, And I was as the brother of her blood, And by that name was wont to live in her speech, Dear name!

which had too much of nearness in it And heralded the distance of this time.

At first her voice was very sweet and low, As tho' she were afeard of utterance;

But in the onward current of her speech, (As echoes of the hollow-banked brooks Are fashioned by the channel which they keep) His words did of their meaning borrow sound, Her cheek did catch the colour of her words, I heard and trembled, yet I could but hear;

My heart paused,--my raised eyelids would not fall, But still I kept my eyes upon the sky.

I seem'd the only part of Time stood still, And saw the motion of all other things;

While her words, syllable by syllable, Like water, drop by drop, upon my ear Fell, and I wish'd, yet wish'd her not to speak, But she spoke on, for I did name no wish.

What marvel my Camilla told me all Her maiden dignities of Hope and Love, 'Perchance' she said 'return'd.' Even then the stars Did tremble in their stations as I gazed;

But she spake on, for I did name no wish, No wish--no hope.

Hope was not wholly dead, But breathing hard at the approach of Death, Updrawn in expectation of her change-- Camilla, my Camilla, who was mine No longer in the dearest use of mine-- The written secrets of her inmost soul Lay like an open scroll before my view, And my eyes read, they read aright, her heart Was Lionel's: it seem'd as tho' a link Of some light chain within my inmost frame Was riven in twain: that life I heeded not Flow'd from me, and the darkness of the grave, The darkness of the grave and utter night, Did swallow up my vision: at her feet, Even the feet of her I loved, I fell, Smit with exceeding sorrow unto death.

Then had the earth beneath me yawning given Sign of convulsion; and tho' horrid rifts Sent up the moaning of unhappy spirits Imprison'd in her centre, with the heat Of their infolding element; had the angels, The watchers at heaven's gate, push'd them apart, And from the golden threshold had down-roll'd Their heaviest thunder, I had lain as still, And blind and motionless as then I lay!

White as quench'd ashes, cold as were the hopes Of my lorn love!

What happy air shall woo The wither'd leaf fall'n in the woods, or blasted Upon this bough?

a lightning stroke had come Even from that Heaven in whose light I bloom'd And taken away the greenness of my life, The blossom and the fragrance.

Who was cursed But I?

who miserable but I?

even Misery Forgot herself in that extreme distress, And with the overdoing of her part Did fall away into oblivion.

The night in pity took away my day Because my grief as yet was newly born, Of too weak eyes to look upon the light, And with the hasty notice of the ear, Frail life was startled from the tender love Of him she brooded over.

Would I had lain Until the pleached ivy tress had wound Round my worn limbs, and the wild briar had driven Its knotted thorns thro' my unpaining brows Leaning its roses on my faded eyes.

The wind had blown above me, and the rain Had fall'n upon me, and the gilded snake Had nestled in this bosomthrone of love, But I had been at rest for evermore.

Long time entrancement held me: all too soon, Life (like a wanton too-officious friend Who will not hear denial, vain and rude With proffer of unwished for services) Entering all the avenues of sense, Pass'd thro' into his citadel, the brain With hated warmth of apprehensiveness: And first the chillness of the mountain stream Smote on my brow, and then I seem'd to hear Its murmur, as the drowning seaman hears, Who with his head below the surface dropt, Listens the dreadful murmur indistinct Of the confused seas, and knoweth not Beyond the sound he lists: and then came in O'erhead the white light of the weary moon, Diffused and molten into flaky cloud.

Was my sight drunk, that it did shape to me Him who should own that name?

or had my fancy So lethargised discernment in the sense, That she did act the step-dame to mine eyes, Warping their nature, till they minister'd Unto her swift conceits?

'Twere better thus If so be that the memory of that sound With mighty evocation, had updrawn The fashion and the phantasm of the form It should attach to.

There was no such thing.

-- It was the man she loved, even Lionel, The lover Lionel, the happy Lionel, All joy; who drew the happy atmosphere Of my unhappy sighs, fed with my tears, To him the honey dews of orient hope.

Oh!

rather had some loathly ghastful brow, Half-bursten from the shroud, in cere cloth bound, The dead skin withering on the fretted bone, The very spirit of Paleness made still paler By the shuddering moonlight, fix'd his eyes on mine Horrible with the anger and the heat Of the remorseful soul alive within, And damn'd unto his loathed tenement.

Methinks I could have sooner met that gaze!

Oh, how her choice did leap forth from his eyes!

Oh, how her love did clothe itself in smiles About his lips!

This was the very arch-mock And insolence of uncontrolled Fate, When the effect weigh'd seas upon my head To twit me with the cause.

Why how was this?

Could he not walk what paths he chose, nor breathe What airs he pleased!

Was not the wide world free, With all her interchange of hill and plain To him as well as me?

I know not, faith: But Misery, like a fretful, wayward child, Refused to look his author in the face, Must he come my way too?

Was not the South, The East, the West, all open, if he had fall'n In love in twilight?

Why should he come my way, Robed in those robes of light I must not wear, With that great crown of beams about his brows?

Come like an angel to a damned soul?

To tell him of the bliss he had with God;

Come like a careless and a greedy heir, That scarce can wait the reading of the will Before he takes possession?

Was mine a mood To be invaded rudely, and not rather A sacred, secret, unapproached woe Unspeakable?

I was shut up with grief;

She took the body of my past delight, Narded, and swathed and balm'd it for herself, And laid it in a new-hewn sepulchre, Where man had never lain.

I was led mute Into her temple like a sacrifice;

I was the high-priest in her holiest place, Not to be loudly broken in upon.

Oh!

friend, thoughts deep and heavy as these well-nigh O'erbore the limits of my brain; but he Bent o'er me, and my neck his arm upstay'd From earth.

I thought it was an adder's fold, And once I strove to disengage myself, But fail'd, I was so feeble.

She was there too: She bent above me too: her cheek was pale, Oh!

very fair and pale: rare pity had stolen The living bloom away, as tho' a red rose Should change into a white one suddenly.

Her eyes, I saw, were full of tears in the morn, And some few drops of that distressful rain Being wafted on the wind, drove in my sight, And being there they did break forth afresh In a new birth, immingled with my own, And still bewept my grief.

Keeping unchanged The purport of their coinage.

Her long ringlets, Drooping and beaten with the plaining wind, Did brush my forehead in their to-and-fro: For in the sudden anguish of her heart Loosed from their simple thrall they had flowed abroad, And onward floating in a full, dark wave, Parted on either side her argent neck, Mantling her form half way.

She, when I woke, After my refluent health made tender quest Unanswer'd, for I spoke not: for the sound Of that dear voice so musically low, And now first heard with any sense of pain, As it had taken life away before, Choked all the syllables that in my throat Strove to uprise, laden with mournful thanks, From my full heart: and ever since that hour, My voice hath somewhat falter'd--and what wonder That when hope died, part of her eloquence Died with her?

He, the blissful lover, too, From his great hoard of happiness distill'd Some drops of solace; like a vain rich man, That, having always prosper'd in the world, Folding his hands deals comfortable words To hearts wounded for ever; yet, in truth, Fair speech was his and delicate of phrase, Falling in whispers on the sense, address'd More to the inward than the outward ear, As rain of the midsummer midnight soft Scarce-heard, recalling fragrance and the green Of the dead spring--such as in other minds Had film'd the margents of the recent wound.

And why was I to darken their pure love, If, as I knew, they two did love each other, Because my own was darken'd?

Why was I To stand within the level of their hopes, Because my hope was widow'd, like the cur In the child's adage?

Did I love Camilla?

Ye know that I did love her: to this present My full-orb'd love hath waned not.

Did I love her, And could I look upon her tearful eyes?

Tears wept for me; for me--weep at my grief?

What had _she_ done to weep--let my heart Break rather--whom the gentlest airs of heaven Should kiss with an unwonted gentleness.

Her love did murder mine; what then?

she deem'd I wore a brother's mind: she call'd me brother: She told me all her love: she shall not weep.

The brightness of a burning thought awhile Battailing with the glooms of my dark will, Moonlike emerged, lit up unto itself, Upon the depths of an unfathom'd woe, Reflex of action, starting up at once, As men do from a vague and horrid dream, And throwing by all consciousness of self, In eager haste I shook him by the hand;

Then flinging myself down upon my knees Even where the grass was warm where I had lain, I pray'd aloud to God that he would hold The hand of blessing over Lionel, And her whom he would make his wedded wife, Camilla!

May their days be golden days, And their long life a dream of linked love, From which may rude Death never startle them, But grow upon them like a glorious vision Of unconceived and awful happiness, Solemn but splendid, full of shapes and sounds, Swallowing its precedent in victory.

Let them so love that men and boys may say, Lo!

how they love each other!

till their love Shall ripen to a proverb unto all, Known when their faces are forgot in the land.

And as for me, Camilla, as for me, Think not thy tears will make my name grow green,-- The dew of tears is an unwholesome dew.

The course of Hope is dried,--the life o' the plant-- They will but sicken the sick plant more.

Deem then I love thee but as brothers do, So shalt thou love me still as sisters do;

Or if thou dream'st aught farther, dream but how I could have loved thee, had there been none else To love as lovers, loved again by thee.

Or this, or somewhat like to this, I spoke, When I did see her weep so ruefully;

For sure my love should ne'er induce the front And mask of Hate, whom woful ailments Of unavailing tears and heart deep moans Feed and envenom, as the milky blood Of hateful herbs a subtle-fanged snake.

Shall Love pledge Hatred in her bitter draughts, And batten on his poisons?

Love forbid!

Love passeth not the threshold of cold Hate, And Hate is strange beneath the roof of Love.

O Love, if thou be'st Love, dry up these tears Shed for the love of Love; for tho' mine image, The subject of thy power, be cold in her, Yet, like cold snow, it melteth in the source Of these sad tears, and feeds their downward flow.

So Love, arraign'd to judgment and to death, Received unto himself a part of blame.

Being guiltless, as an innocent prisoner, Who when the woful sentence hath been past, And all the clearness of his fame hath gone Beneath the shadow of the curse of men, First falls asleep in swoon.

Wherefrom awaked And looking round upon his tearful friends, Forthwith and in his agony conceives A shameful sense as of a cleaving crime-- For whence without some guilt should such grief be?

So died that hour, and fell into the abysm Of forms outworn, but not to be outworn, Who never hail'd another worth the Life That made it sensible.

So died that hour, Like odour wrapt into the winged wind Borne into alien lands and far away.

There be some hearts so airy-fashioned, That in the death of love, if e'er they loved, On that sharp ridge of utmost doom ride highly Above the perilous seas of change and chance;

Nay, more, holds out the lights of cheerfulness;

As the tall ship, that many a dreary year Knit to some dismal sandbank far at sea, All through the lifelong hours of utter dark, Showers slanting light upon the dolorous wave.

For me all other Hopes did sway from that Which hung the frailest: falling, they fell too, Crush'd link on link into the beaten earth, And Love did walk with banish'd Hope no more, It was ill-done to part ye, Sisters fair;

Love's arms were wreathed about the neck of Hope, And Hope kiss'd Love, and Love drew in her breath In that close kiss, and drank her whisper'd tales.

They said that Love would die when Hope was gone, And Love mourned long, and sorrowed after Hope;

At last she sought out memory, and they trod The same old paths where Love had walked with Hope, And Memory fed the soul of Love with tears.

II

From that time forth I would not see her more, But many weary moons I lived alone-- Alone, and in the heart of the great forest.

Sometimes upon the hills beside the sea All day I watched the floating isles of shade, And sometimes on the shore, upon the sands Insensibly I drew her name, until The meaning of the letters shot into My brain: anon the wanton billow wash'd Them over, till they faded like my love.

The hollow caverns heard me--the black brooks Of the mid-forest heard me--the soft winds, Laden with thistledown and seeds of flowers, Paused in their course to hear me, for my voice Was all of thee: the merry linnet knew me, The squirrel knew me, and the dragon-fly Shot by me like a flash of purple fire.

The rough briar tore my bleeding palms; the hemlock, Brow high, did strike my forehead as I pas'd;

Yet trod I not the wild-flower in my path, Nor bruised the wild-bird's egg.

Was this the end?

Why grew we then together i' the same plot?

Why fed we the same fountain?

drew the same sun?

Why were our mothers branches of one stem?

Why were we one in all things, save in that Where to have been one had been the roof and crown Of all I hoped and fear'd?

if that same nearness Were father to this distance, and that _one_ Vauntcourier this _double_?

If affection Living slew Love, and Sympathy hew'd out The bosom-sepulchre of Sympathy.

Chiefly I sought the cavern and the hill Where last we roam'd together, for the sound Of the loud stream was pleasant, and the wind Came wooingly with violet smells.

Sometimes All day I sat within the cavern-mouth, Fixing my eyes on those three cypress-cones Which spired above the wood; and with mad hand Tearing the bright leaves of the ivy-screen, I cast them in the noisy brook beneath, And watch'd them till they vanished from my sight Beneath the bower of wreathed eglantines: And all the fragments of the living rock, (Huge splinters, which the sap of earliest showers, Or moisture of the vapour, left in clinging, When the shrill storm-blast feeds it from behind, And scatters it before, had shatter'd from The mountain, till they fell, and with the shock Half dug their own graves), in mine agony, Did I make bear of all the deep rich moss Wherewith the dashing runnel in the spring Had liveried them all over.

In my brain The spirit seem'd to flag from thought to thought, Like moonlight wandering through a mist: my blood Crept like the drains of a marsh thro' all my body;

The motions of my heart seem'd far within me, Unfrequent, low, as tho' it told its pulses;

And yet it shook me, that my frame did shudder, As it were drawn asunder by the rack.

But over the deep graves of Hope and Fear, The wreck of ruin'd life and shatter'd thought, Brooded one master-passion evermore, Like to a low hung and a fiery sky Above some great metropolis, earth shock'd Hung round with ragged-rimmed burning folds, Embathing all with wild and woful hues-- Great hills of ruins, and collapsed masses Of thunder-shaken columns, indistinct And fused together in the tyrannous light.

So gazed I on the ruins of that thought Which was the playmate of my youth--for which I lived and breathed: the dew, the sun, the rain, Unto the growth of body and of mind;

The blood, the breath, the feeling and the motion, The slope into the current of my years, Which drove them onward--made them sensible;

The precious jewel of my honour'd life, Erewhile close couch'd in golden happiness, Now proved counterfeit, was shaken out, And, trampled on, left to its own decay.

The Lover's Tale Sometimes I thought Camilla was no more, Some one had told me she was dead, and ask'd me If I would see her burial: then I seem'd To rise, and thro' the forest-shadow borne With more than mortal swiftness, I ran down The sleepy sea-bank, till I came upon The rear of a procession, curving round The silver-sheeted bay: in front of which Six stately virgins, all in white, upbare A broad earth-sweeping pall of whitest lawn, Wreathed round the bier with garlands: in the distance, From out the yellow woods, upon the hill, Look'd forth the summit and the pinnacles Of a grey steeple.

All the pageantry, Save those six virgins which upheld the bier, Were stoled from head to foot in flowing black;

One walk'd abreast with me, and veiled his brow, And he was loud in weeping and in praise Of the departed: a strong sympathy Shook all my soul: I flung myself upon him In tears and cries: I told him all my love, How I had loved her from the first; whereat He shrunk and howl'd, and from his brow drew back His hand to push me from him; and the face The very face and form of Lionel, Flash'd through my eyes into my innermost brain, And at his feet I seemed to faint and fall, To fall and die away.

I could not rise, Albeit I strove to follow.

They pass'd on, The lordly Phantasms; in their floating folds They pass'd and were no more: but I had fall'n Prone by the dashing runnel on the grass.

Always th' inaudible, invisible thought Artificer and subject, lord and slave Shaped by the audible and visible, Moulded the audible and visible;

All crisped sounds of wave, and leaf and wind, Flatter'd the fancy of my fading brain;

The storm-pavilion'd element, the wood, The mountain, the three cypresses, the cave, Were wrought into the tissue of my dream.

The moanings in the forest, the loud stream, Awoke me not, but were a part of sleep;

And voices in the distance, calling to me, And in my vision bidding me dream on, Like sounds within the twilight realms of dreams, Which wander round the bases of the hills, And murmur in the low-dropt eaves of sleep, But faint within the portals.

Oftentimes The vision had fair prelude, in the end Opening on darkness, stately vestibules To cares and shows of Death; whether the mind, With a revenge even to itself unknown, Made strange division of its suffering With her, whom to have suffering view'd had been Extremest pain; or that the clear-eyed Spirit, Being blasted in the Present, grew at length Prophetical and prescient of whate'er The Future had in store; or that which most Enchains belief, the sorrow of my spirit Was of so wide a compass it took in All I had loved, and my dull agony.

Ideally to her transferred, became Anguish intolerable.

The day waned;

Alone I sat with her: about my brow Her warm breath floated in the utterance Of silver-chorded tones: her lips were sunder'd With smiles of tranquil bliss, which broke in light Like morning from her eyes--her eloquent eyes (As I have seen them many hundred times), Fill'd all with clear pure fire, thro' mine down rain'd Their spirit-searching splendours.

As a vision Unto a haggard prisoner, iron-stay'd In damp and dismal dungeons underground Confined on points of faith, when strength is shock'd With torment, and expectancy of worse Upon the morrow, thro' the ragged walls, All unawares before his half-shut eyes, Comes in upon him in the dead of night, And with th' excess of sweetness and of awe, Makes the heart tremble, and the eyes run over Upon his steely gyves; so those fair eyes Shone on my darkness forms which ever stood Within the magic cirque of memory, Invisible but deathless, waiting still The edict of the will to reassume The semblance of those rare realities Of which they were the mirrors.

Now the light, Which was their life, burst through the cloud of thought Keen, irrepressible.

It was a room Within the summer-house of which I spoke, Hung round with paintings of the sea, and one A vessel in mid-ocean, her heaved prow Clambering, the mast bent, and the revin wind In her sail roaring.

From the outer day, Betwixt the closest ivies came a broad And solid beam of isolated light, Crowded with driving atomies, and fell Slanting upon that picture, from prime youth Well-known, well-loved.

She drew it long ago Forth gazing on the waste and open sea, One morning when the upblown billow ran Shoreward beneath red clouds, and I had pour'd Into the shadowing pencil's naked forms Colour and life: it was a bond and seal Of friendship, spoken of with tearful smiles;

A monument of childhood and of love, The poesy of childhood; my lost love Symbol'd in storm.

We gazed on it together In mute and glad remembrance, and each heart Grew closer to the other, and the eye Was riveted and charm-bound, gazing like The Indian on a still-eyed snake, low crouch'd A beauty which is death, when all at once That painted vessel, as with inner life, 'Gan rock and heave upon that painted sea;

An earthquake, my loud heartbeats, made the ground Roll under us, and all at once soul, life, And breath, and motion, pass'd and flow'd away To those unreal billows: round and round A whirlwind caught and bore us; mighty gyves, Rapid and vast, of hissing spray wind-driven Far through the dizzy dark.

Aloud she shriek'd-- My heart was cloven with pain.

I wound my arms About her: we whirl'd giddily: the wind Sung: but I clasp'd her without fear: her weight Shrank in my grasp, and over my dim eyes And parted lips which drank her breath, down hung The jaws of Death: I, screaming, from me flung The empty phantom: all the sway and whirl Of the storm dropt to windless calm, and I Down welter'd thro' the dark ever and ever.

Index to First Lines A gate and a field half ploughed All thoughts, all creeds, all dreams, are true Angels have talked with him and showed him thrones As when a man, that sails in a balloon Blow ye the trumpets, gather from afar But she tarries in her place Check every outflash, every ruder sally Could I outwear my present state of woe Ere yet my heart was sweet Love's tomb Every day hath its night First drink a health, this solemn night God bless our Prince and Bride Heaven weeps above the earth all night Here far away, seen from the topmost cliff His eyes in eclipse Home they brought him slain with spears How much I love this writer's manly style How often, when a child I lay reclined I am any man's suitor I stood on a tower in the wet I stood upon the Mountain which o'erlooks I' the glooming light Me my own fate to lasting sorrow doometh My Rosalind, my Rosalind O darling room, my heart's delight Oh, Beauty, passing beauty!

sweetest sweet!

Oh, go not yet, my love O maiden fresher than the first green leaf O sad _No more_!

O sweet _No more_ O thou whose fringèd lids I gaze upon Rise, Britons, rise, if manhood be not dead Sainted Juliet!

dearest name Shall the hag Evil die with the child of Good Sure never yet was Antelope The lintwhite and the throstlecock The Northwind fall'n in the new starréd night The pallid thunderstricken sigh for gain There are three things that fill my heart with sighs Therefore your halls, your ancient colleges There is no land like England The varied earth, the moving heaven Thou, from the first, unborn, undying love Though Night hath climbed her peak Two bees within a chrystal flowerbell rockèd Voice of the summerwind We have had enough of motion We know him, out of Shakespeare's art What time I wasted youthful hours Where is the Giant of the Sun, which stood Who can say Who fears to die?

Who fears to die With roses musky breathed You cast to ground the hope which once was mine You did late review my lays Your ringlets, your ringlets *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SUPPRESSED POEMS OF ALFRED LORD TENNYSON *** Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.

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