Opening a Chestnut Burr — Live! Live! - Annie's Appeal
"LIVE!
LIVE!"
--ANNIE'S APPEAL
Annie's swoon was so prolonged that both her aunt and Hunting were alarmed.
It was the reaction from the deep and peculiar excitement of the last few days.
Every power of mind and body had been under the severest strain, and nature now gave way.
The doctor, when he came to make his morning call, was most welcome.
He said there was nothing alarming about Miss Walton's symptoms, but added very decisively that she would need rest and quiet of mind for a long time in order to regain her former tone and health.
When Annie revived he gave something that would tend to quiet her nervous system and produce sleep.
"I now understand Mr. Walton's case," he said to Miss Eulie.
"I could not see why his severe cold, which he had apparently cured, should result as it did.
But now it's plain that it was complicated with heart difficulties."
His visit to Gregory was not at all satisfactory, for his patient's depression was so great that he was sinking under it.
Mr. Walton's death, leaving Annie defenceless, as it were, in the hands of a man like Hunting, seemed another of the dark and cruel mysteries which to him made up human life.
The death that had given Daddy Tuggar such an impulse toward faith and hope only led him to say with intense bitterness, "God has forgotten His world, and the devil rules it."
"Mr. Gregory," said the physician, gravely, "do you know that you are about the same as taking your own life?
All the doctors in the world cannot help you unless you try to live.
Drugs cannot remove your apathy and morbid depression."
"Very well, doctor," he replied; "do not trouble yourself to come any more.
I absolve you from all blame."
"But I cannot absolve myself.
Besides, it's not manly to give up in this style."
"I make no pretence of being manly or anything else.
I am just what you see.
Can a broken reed stand up like a sturdy oak?
Can such a thing as I reverse fate?
Thank you, doctor, for all you have done, but waste no more time upon me.
I knew, weeks ago, that the end was near, and I would like to die in the old place."
The doctor looked at him a moment in deep perplexity, and then silently left the room.
"Internal injuries that I can't get at," he muttered, as he drove away.
Miss Eulie came to Gregory's side, and laying her hand gently on his brow said, "You are mistaken, my young friend.
You are going to live."
"Why do you think so?"
he asked.
"The dying often have almost prophetic vision;" and she told him all that Mr. Walton had said, though nothing of the contemplated marriage.
She dwelt with special emphasis on the facts that he had told Annie to be a sister to Gregory and had gone to heaven with the assurance to his old friend that his son would join him there.
Gregory was strongly moved, and turning his face upon the pillow, gave way to a passion of tears; but they were despairing, bitter, regretful tears.
He soon seemed ashamed of them, and when he again turned his face toward Miss Eulie, it had a hard, stony look.
Almost with sternness he said, "If the dying have supernatural insight, why could not Mr. Walton see what kind of a man Hunting is?
Please leave me now.
I know how kind and well-meant your words are, but they are mockery to me;" and he turned his face to the wall.
Miss Eulie sighed very deeply, but felt that his case was beyond her skill.
Daddy Tuggar was at first grievously disappointed.
He had wrought himself up into the hope of a celestial scene, and the abrupt and quiet termination of Mr. Walton's life seemed inadequate to the occasion.
But Miss Eulie comforted him by saying that "the Christian walked by faith, and not by sight--that God knew what was best, better than we, His little children.
"Death had not even the power to cause him a moment's pain," she said.
"God gave him a sweet surprise, by letting him through the gates before he was aware."
Thus she led the strange old man to think it was for the best after all.
The Rev. Mr. Ames, who had come on such a different mission, also tried to make clearer what Mr. Walton had said to him.
But Daddy Tuggar would not permit his mind to wander a moment from the simple truth, which he kept saying over and over to himself, "I'm an awful sinner, and the good Lord come after just such."
Another thing that greatly perplexed the old man was that Mr. Walton had not been permitted to live long enough to see his daughter married.
As an old neighbor, and because of his strong attachment to Annie, he had been invited to be present.
"'Pears to me that the Lord might have spared him a few minutes longer," he said.
"It _appears_ to you so," replied Mr. Ames, "but the Lord _knows_ why he did not."
"Well, parson," said Daddy Tuggar, "I thank you very kindly for what you have said, but John Walton has done the business for me.
I'm just goin' to trust--I'm just goin' to let myself go limber and fall right down on the Lord Jesus' word.
I don't believe it will break with me.
Anyhow, it's all I can do, and John Walton told me to do it and I allers found he was about right."
And thus late in the twilight of life the old man took his pilgrim's staff and started homeward.
As soon as Hunting recovered from his bitter disappointment and almost superstitious alarm at the sudden thwarting of his purpose, his wily and scheming mind fell to work on a new combination.
If he still could induce Annie to be married almost immediately, as he greatly hoped, all would be well.
If not, then he would assume that they were the same as married, and at once take his place so far as possible at the head of the household, in accordance with Mr. Walton's wish.
On one hand, by tender care and thoughtfulness for them all, he would place Annie under the deepest obligation; on the other, he would gain, to the extent he could, control of her affairs and property.
In the latter purpose Mr. Walton had greatly aided by naming him one of the executors of his will; and only Miss Eulie, the sister-in-law, was united with him as executrix.
Thus he would substantially have his own way.
Indeed, Mr. Walton, in his perfect trust, meant that he should.
Having seen Annie quietly sleeping, he started for New York to make arrangements for the funeral, and look after some personal matters that had already been neglected too long.
His feelings on the journey were not enviable.
He had enough faith to fear God, but not to trust and obey.
The thought recurred with disheartening frequency, "If God is against this, He will thwart me every time."
The day had closed in thick darkness and a storm before Annie awoke from the deep sleep which the sedative had prolonged.
Though weak and languid, she insisted on getting up.
Her aunt almost forced her to take a little supper, and then she went instinctively and naturally to that room which had always been a place of refuge, but which now was the chamber of death.
She turned up the light that she might look at the dear, _dear_ face.
How calm and noble it was in its deep repose!
It did not suggest death--only peaceful sleep.
With a passionate burst of sorrow she moaned, "O father, let me sleep beside you, and be at rest!"
Then she took his cold hand, and sat down mechanically to watch, as in the days and nights just passed.
But as she became composed and thought grew busy, the deep peace of the sleeper seemed imparted to her.
In vivid imagination she followed him to the home and greetings that he had so joyously anticipated.
She saw him meet her mother and sister, and other loved ones who had gone before.
She saw him at his Saviour's feet, blessed and crowned.
She heard the wild storm raging without in the darkness, and then thought of his words "There is no night there."
"Dear father," she murmured, "I would not call you back if I could.
God give me patience to come to you in His own appointed way."
Then she dwelt upon the strange events of the day.
How near she had come to being a wife!
Why had she not become one?
That the marriage should have been so suddenly and unexpectedly prevented on the very eve of consummation, caused some curious thoughts to flit through her mind.
"It is enough to know that it was God's will," she said; "and my future is still in His hands.
Poor Charles!
it will be a disappointment to him; and yet what difference will a few weeks or months make?"
Then her father's words, "Be a sister to Gregory," recurred to her, and she reproached herself that she had so long forgotten him.
"Father is safe home," she said, "and I am leaving him to wander further and further away.
Father told me to be a sister to him, and I will.
When he gets well and strong, if he ever does, he will feel very differently;
and if he is to die (which God forbid), what more sacred duty can I have than to plead with him and for him to the last?"
Pressing a kiss on her father's silent lips, she went to fulfil one of their last requests.
She first asked her aunt if it would be prudent to visit Gregory.
"I hardly know, Annie, what to say," said Miss Eulie, in deep perplexity; and she told her what had occurred in relation to Gregory, the doctor, and herself, omitting all reference to Hunting.
"If he is not roused out of his gloom and apathy, I fear he will die," concluded her aunt; "and if you can't rouse him, I don't know who can."
Annie gave her a quick, questioning glance.
"Yes, Annie, I understand," she said, quietly.
"He received his worst injury before the ladder fell."
"O aunty, what shall I do?"
"Indeed, my dear child, I can hardly tell you.
You are placed in a difficult and delicate position.
Perhaps your father's words were wisest, 'Be a sister to him.'
At any rate, you have more power with him than any one else, and you owe it to him to do all you can to save him."
"I am ready to do anything, aunty, for it seems as if I could never be happy if he should die an unbeliever."
Annie stole noiselessly to Gregory's side, and motioned to the young man who was in charge to withdraw to the next room.
Gregory was still asleep.
She sat down by him and was greatly shocked to see how emaciated and pale he was.
It seemed as if he had suffered from an illness of weeks rather than days.
"He will die," she murmured, with all her old terror at the thought returning.
"He will die, and for me.
Though innocent, I shall always feel that his blood is upon me;" and she buried her face in her hands, and her whole frame shook with a passion of grief.
Her emotion awoke him, and he recognized with something like awe the bowed head at his side.
Her grief for her father, as he supposed it to be, seemed such a sacred thing!
And yet he could not bear to see her intense sorrow.
His heart ached to comfort her, but what words of consolation could such as he offer?
Still, had she not come to him as if for comfort?
This thought touched him deeply, and he almost cursed his unbelieving soul that made him dumb at such a time.
What could he say but miserable commonplaces in regard to a bereavement like hers?
He did not say anything, but merely reached out his hand and gently stroked her bowed head.
Then she knew he was awake, and she took his hand and bowed her head upon it.
"Miss Walton," he said, in a husky voice, "it cuts me to the heart to see you grieve so.
But, alas!
I do not know how to comfort you, and I can't say trite words which mean nothing.
After losing such a father as yours, what can any one say?"
She raised her head and said, impetuously, "It's not for father I am grieving.
He is in heaven--he is not lost to me.
It's for you--you.
You are breaking my heart."
"Miss Walton," he began, in much surprise, "I don't understand--" "Why don't you understand?"
she interrupted.
"What do you think I am made of?
Do you think that you can lie here and die for me and I go serenely on?
Do you not see that you would blight the life you have saved?"
His apathy was gone now.
But he was bewildered, so sudden and overpowering was her emotion.
He only found words to say, "Miss Walton, God knows I am yours, body and soul.
What can I do?"
"Live!
live!"
she continued, with the same passionate earnestness.
"I impose no conditions, I ask nothing else.
Only get well and strong again.
If you will do this, I have such confidence in your better nature, and the many prayers laid up for you, as to feel sure that all will come out right.
But if you will just lie here and die, you will imbitter my life.
What did the doctor tell you this morning?
And yet I shall feel that I am partly the cause.
O, Mr. Gregory, you may think me foolish, but that strange little omen of the chestnut burr is in my mind so often!
I never was superstitious before, but it haunts me.
Don't you remember how you stained my hand with your blood?
I can't get it out of my mind, and it has for me now a strange significance.
If I had to remember through coming years that you died for me all hopeless and unbelieving, do you think so poorly of me as to imagine I could be happy?
Why can't you be generous enough to brighten the life you have saved?
Among my father's last words he said I must be a sister to you.
How can I if you die?
You would make this dear old place, that we both love, full of terrible memories."
He was deeply moved, and after a moment said, "I did not know that you felt in this way.
I thought the best thing that I could do was to get out of the world and out of the way.
I thought I knew you, but I do not half understand your large, generous heart.
For your sake I will try and get well, nor will I impose any conditions whatever.
But pardon me: I am going to ask one thing, which you can grant or not as you choose.
Please do not wrong me by thinking that I have any personal end in view.
I have given all that up as truly as if I were dead.
I ask that you do not speedily marry Charles Hunting--not till you are sure you know him."
"O dear!"
exclaimed Annie, in real distress, "this dreadful quarrel!
What trouble it makes all around!"
"If your father," continued Gregory, with grave earnestness, "told you to be a sister to me, then I have some right to act as a brother toward you.
But as an honest man, with all my faults, and with your interests nearest my heart, I entreat you to heed my request.
Nay, more: I am going to seem ungenerous, and refer for the first and last time to the obligation you are under to me.
By all the influence I gained by that act, I beg of you to hesitate before you marry Charles Hunting.
Believe me, I would not lay a straw in the way of your marrying a good man."
"Your words pain me more than I can tell you," said Annie, sadly.
"I do not understand them.
Once they would have angered me.
But, however mistaken you are, I cannot do injustice to your motive.
"I do not see how your request can injure Charles," she continued, musingly.
"I have no wish to marry now for a long time--not till these sad scenes have faded somewhat from memory.
If you will only promise to live I will not marry him till you get strong and well--till you can look upon this matter as a man--as a brother ought.
But your hostility must not be unreasonable or implacable.
I _know_ you do Mr. Hunting great injustice.
And yet such is my solicitude for you that I will do what seems to me almost disloyal.
But I know that I owe a great deal to you as well as Charles."
"What I ask is for your sake, not mine.
I only used the obligation as a motive."
"Well," said Annie, "I yield; and surely a sister could do no more than I have done to-night."
"And I have simply done my duty," he answered, quietly.
"And yet I thank you truly.
You also may see the time when you will thank me more than when I interposed my worthless person between you and danger."
"Please never call yourself 'worthless' to me again.
We never did agree, and I fear we shall be gray before we do.
But mark this: I am never going to give you up, whatever happens.
I shall obey dear father's last words from both duty and inclination.
But let us end this painful conversation.
What have you eaten to-day?"
"I'm sure I don't know," he said.
"Will you eat something if I bring it?"
"I will do anything you ask."
"Now you give me hope," and she vanished, sending the regular watcher back to his post.
Gregory found it no difficult task to eat the dainty little supper she brought.
She had broken the malign spell he was under.
As we have seen, his was a physical nature peculiarly subject to mental conditions.
Soon after she said, in a low tone meant only for his ear, "Good-night, my poor suffering brother.
We all three shall understand each other better in God's good time."
"I hope so," he said, with a different meaning.
"You have made me feel that I am not alone and uncared for in the world, though I cannot call you sister yet.
Good-night."
Annie went back to her father's side, and remained till her aunt almost forced her away.
It is not necessary to dwell on the events of the next few days.
Such is our earthly lot, nearly all can depict them by recalling their own sad experience: the hushed and solemn household, even the children speaking low and treading softly, as if they might awake one whom only "the last trump" could arouse.
John Walton's funeral was no formal pageant, but an occasion of sincere and general mourning.
Even those whose lives and characters were the opposite of his had the profoundest respect for him, and the entire community united in honoring his memory.
Perhaps the most painful time of all to the stricken family was the evening after their slow, dreary ride to the village cemetery.
Then, as not before, they realized their loss.
Annie felt that her best solace would be in trying to cheer others.
She had seen Gregory but seldom and briefly since the interview last described, but had been greatly comforted by his decided change for the better.
He had kept his word.
Indeed, it was only the leaden hand of despondency that kept him down, and he rallied from the moment it was lifted.
This evening he was dressed and sitting by the fire.
As she entered, in her deep mourning, his look was so wistful and kind, so eloquent with sympathy, that instead of cheering him, as she had intended, she sat down on a low ottoman, and burying her face in her hands, cried as if her heart would break.
"Oh that I knew how to comfort you!"
said Gregory, in the deepest distress.
"I cannot bear to see you suffer."
He rose with difficulty and came to her side, saying, "What can I do, Miss Walton?
Would that I could prevent you, at any cost to myself, from ever shedding another tear!"
His sympathy was so true and strong that it was a luxury for her to receive it; and she had kept up so long that tears were nature's own relief.
At last he said timidly, hesitatingly, as if venturing on forbidden ground, "I think the Bible says that in heaven all tears will be wiped away.
Your father is surely there."
"Would that I were there with him!"
she sobbed.
"Not yet, Annie, not yet," he said, gently.
"Think how dark this world would be to more than one if you were not in it."
"But will you never seek this dear home of rest?"
she asked.
"The way of life is closed to me," he said, sadly.
"O, Mr. Gregory!
Who is it that says, 'I am the way?'
" "But He says to me, 'Depart.'
" "And yet I, knowing all--I, a weak, sinful creature like yourself--say, Come to Him.
I am better and kinder than He who died for us all!
What strange, sad logic!
Good-night, Walter.
You will not always so wrong your best Friend."
Gregory's despairing conviction that his day of mercy was past was hardly proof against her words and manner, but he was in thick darkness and saw no way out.
Annie went down to her aunt and Hunting in the parlor.
"Why will Mr. Gregory be so hard and unbelieving?"
she said, tearfully.
"If you knew him as well as I do you would understand," said Hunting, politicly, and then changed the conversation.
He was consumed by a jealousy which he dared not show.
Annie's manner toward him was all that he could ask, and he felt sure of her now.
But it was the future he dreaded, for he was satisfied that Gregory had formed an attachment for Annie, whether she knew it or not, and, unless he could secure her by marriage, the man he had wronged might find means of tearing off his mask.
With desperate earnestness he resolved to press his suit.
His course since Mr. Walton's death had been such as to win Annie's sincerest gratitude.
When action rather than moral support was required, he was strong, and no one could be more delicately thoughtful of her feelings and kinder than he had been.
"Dear Charles," said Annie, when they were alone.
"What should I have done without you in all these dreary days!
How you have saved me from all painful contact with the world!"
"And so I ever wish to shield you," said Hunting.
"Will you not, as your father purposed, give me the right at once?"
"You have the right, Charles.
I ask no more than you have done and are doing.
But do not urge marriage now.
I yielded then for father's sake, not my own.
My heart is too sore and crushed to think of it now.
After all, what difference can a few months make to you?
Be generous.
Give me a respite, and I will make you a better wife and a happier home."
"But it looks, Annie, as if you could not trust me," he said, gloomily.
"No, Charles," she said, gravely, "it looks rather as if you distrusted me; and you must learn to trust me implicitly.
Out of both love for you and justice to myself, I exercise my woman's right of naming the day.
In the meantime I give you my perfect confidence.
No words of others--nothing but your own acts can disturb it, and of this I have no fear."
He did not seek to disguise his deep disappointment.
While she felt sorry for him, she remained firm, and he saw that it would not be wise to urge her.
Annie would not carelessly give pain to any one, much less to those she loved.
And yet her mind was strong and well-balanced.
She knew it was no great misfortune to Hunting to wait a few months when her own feelings and the duty she owed another required it.
"When Mr. Gregory gets strong and well and back to business," she thought, "he will wonder at himself.
I have no right almost to destroy him now in his weakness by doing that which can be done better at another time; and indeed, for my own sake, I should have required delay."
The next day Hunting was reluctantly compelled to go to the city.
Somewhat to Annie's surprise, Gregory made no effort to secure her society.
In her frank, sisterly regard she was slow in understanding that her presence caused regretful pain to him.
But he seemed resolutely bent upon getting well, and was gaining rapidly.
He walked out a little while during the middle of the day, and her eyes followed him wistfully as he moved slowly and feebly along the garden walk.
She saw, with quickly starting tears, that he went to the rustic seat by the brook where they had spent that memorable Sunday afternoon, and that he stood in long, deep thought.
When he came back she offered to read to him.
"Not now--not yet," he said, sadly.
"I know my own weakness, and would be true to my word."
"Why do you shun me?"
she asked.
"May you never understand from experience," he said with a smile that was sadder than tears, and passed on up to his room.
And yet, though he did not know it, his course was the best policy, for it awakened stronger respect and sympathy on her part.
The next morning ushered in the first of the dreamy Indian-summer days, when Nature, as if grieved over the havoc of the frost, would hide the dismantled trees and dead flowers by a purple haze, and seek as do fading beauties to disguise the ravages of time by drawing over her withered face a deceptive veil.
Gregory felt so much better that he thought he could venture to make a parting call on Daddy Tuggar.
He found the old man smoking on his porch, and his reception was as warm and demonstrative as his first had been a month ago, though of a different nature.
