Manners and Rules of Good Society; Or, Solecisms to be Avoided by a Member of the Aristocracy — Christening Parties

CHRISTENING PARTIES

=Christening Parties= may be said to be strictly family gatherings, only the near relatives of the parents being invited on these occasions.

* * * * * =The Invitations= are given in friendly notes, and are not issued on "at home" cards.

The notice averages from a week to ten days according to circumstances, meaning the health and strength of the infant's mother.

* * * * * =As a Rule Six Weeks= are allowed to elapse between the birth of the child and the date of the christening.

* * * * * =The Relatives are either invited= to luncheon after the ceremony, or to a reception tea, or to a dinner-party to be given the same evening.

If a luncheon is decided upon it generally takes place at 1. 30, or earlier, immediately on the return from the church.

The meal usually consists of hot viands--game or poultry--not substantial joints.

Hot and cold sweets.

Fruit to follow.

A smart christening cake should occupy the centre of the table.

Champagne, claret, and sherry are given, although the former is probably the only one of the three drunk on the occasion;

this, when the health of the infant is proposed--the only health which finds acceptance at these gatherings.

* * * * * =The Guests go in to Luncheon= quite informally, the ladies and hostess entering first, followed by the men guests and the host.

They should be seated at table by the help of name cards, each lady being placed at the right hand of a gentleman.

The clergyman who performs the ceremony, if a friend, should sit at the hostess's left hand, and should be asked to say grace; but in town he seldom joins these family gatherings unless well acquainted with his parishioners.

* * * * * =A Reception Tea=, when given, is served in the dining-room; but in this case the guests are received on arrival by the hostess in the drawing-room, and when all have arrived, she accompanies them to the tea-room and remains there with them.

The maid-servants should pour out and hand the tea and coffee across the tea-table, but the hostess should hand the cakes, etc. , to her relatives, assisted by the host, if present.

The refreshments consist of the usual variety in confectionery seen at all smart "at homes," a christening cake being the addition.

* * * * * =Christening Dinner-Parties= closely resemble all other family functions of this nature, with the exception that the infant's health is drunk at dessert, and that a christening cake is placed opposite the hostess when the table is cleared for dessert.

* * * * * =The Christening Ceremony= takes place in the afternoon, usually at 2. 30. The relatives on arrival at the church seat themselves in pews or on chairs near to the font.

The godmother holds the infant during the first part of the service, and then places it on the left arm of the officiating clergyman.

One of the godfathers should name the child in response to the clergyman's question.

If the child is a girl, two godmothers and one godfather are necessary.

If a boy, two godfathers and one godmother are required.

These godparents are usually the intimate friends of the child's mother.

In certain instances the relatives are chosen for the office of godfather and godmother, but oftener not for family reasons.

* * * * * =Christening Presents= vary according to means and inclination, and often comprise gifts of jewellery when the infant is a girl, and money and silver plate if a boy; silver spoons, forks, mugs, bowls, etc. The selection is a wide one, and nothing comes amiss, from a robe with fine lace to a chain and pendant or a jewelled watch.

These presents are usually sent the day previous to that of the christening.

* * * * * =Fees and Tips.

=--Only minor fees are given to those assisting at the ceremony.

The officiating priest receives some little gift in old silver or china, but not of money; if, however, the parents of the child are wealthy a cheque is sometimes given with a request that he will devote it to the needs of his parish.

Tips to the nurse from the child's godparents vary from five shillings to a sovereign according to individual means.

INDEX

AFTERNOON "at homes," 151 Afternoon dances, 157 Afternoon tea, 42 Afternoon weddings, 28 Amusements at children's parties, 192;

at country-house parties, 215;

at garden-parties, 169 "At home" days, 159;

"at homes," 151, 238 BACHELORS' Balls, 87 Balls, 87;

patronesses of, 239 Best man, duties of, 131 Bowing, 206 Breakfasts, 183 Bridal wreath, 141 Bride, 131, 133, 140 Bridegroom's relatives, 133 Bridegroom's responsibilities, 130, 141, 146, 149 Bridesmaids, 132;

presents to, 147 Bride's relatives, 132 Bridge parties, 125, 158;

refreshments at, 126;

teas, 158 CALLS, paying, 32;

after entertainments, 113 Canoe parties, 189 Cards, gentlemen's, 27;

ladies, 19;

memorial, 31;

"P. P.

C.

," 26 Cards, leaving, 19;

after entertainments, 24, 28;

on new-comers, 25;

returning, 23;

routine of leaving, 21, 28;

"to inquire," 26 Chaperons, 228 Charity Balls, 93 Christening luncheons and teas, 262;

parties, 261;

presents, 260, 263 Clergy, how to address, 59 Cockades, 209 Colonial etiquette, 161 County Balls, 93 Country dinner-parties, 114 Country-house visits, 211 Court, attending, 73;

presentation at, 73 Court dress for gentlemen, 85;

for ladies, 80 Cricket matches, 168 DANCES, invitation, 256;

public, 257 Debutantes, 228 _Diner a la Russe_, 106 Dining out, 100 Dinner guests, 101 Dinner invitations, 99 Dinner-table decorations, 107;

etiquette, 108, 116 Drawing-room, retiring to, 111 Drawing-rooms at Viceregal Court, Dublin, 229 Driving, 203 ENGAGEMENTS, 250;

etiquette of, 251;

presents, 147 _Entree_ at Court, 77 Etiquette, 1;

at balls, 91;

at dinner-table, 108, 116;

colonial, 161;

Indian, 164;

in regard to royalty, 61;

of visiting at bachelors' houses, 217;

when travelling abroad, 65 Evening parties, 122;

garden-parties, 174 FOREIGNERS of rank, how to address, 57 Funerals, 248 Funeral wreaths, 249 GAMEKEEPERS, tips to, 223 Game licence, 224 Garden-parties, 166;

in the evening, 174;

in town, 171 Giving presents, 259 Going in to luncheon, 180;

to supper, 123, 126 Golden weddings, 255 Gratuities to servants, 97, 113, 156, 223, 260, 263 HONEYMOON, 141

Hostesses, 234 Hunt Balls, 87, 95 Hunt breakfasts, 221 Hunting, 219 INDIAN etiquette, 164 Introductions, 6;

correct formula for, 8;

at afternoon calls, 17;

at country-house parties, 11;

at dinner-parties, 9;

at evening parties, 123;

at Public Balls, 12, 90 Invitations, 96, 122, 125, 152, 167, 177, 194 JUVENILE parties, 190 LADIES in the hunting-field, 219 Levee dress, 85 Levees, 82;

at Viceregal Court, Dublin, 232;

presentations at, 84;

who may attend, 83 Licences, marriage, 128 Luncheons, 176 MARRIAGE by banns, 128;

by licence, 128, 148;

fees, 129, 148 Memorial cards, 249 Menus, 106, 139 Military Balls, 87, 95 Mourning, 242;

Court, 242 "NOT at home," 41 OFFICERS, how to address, 59 Opening a ball, 90 PATRONESSES of Public Balls, 239 Pheasant shooting, 222 Picnics, 186 Plumes in Court dress, 81 Politeness, graces of, 4 Precedency amongst royalty, 44, 50;

at ball suppers, 91;

at dinner-parties, 49, 105;

of ambassadors and diplomats, 45;

of army and navy, 45;

of baronets and knights, 45, 51;

of bishops, 51;

of clergy, 45, 48;

of esquires, 48;

of ladies, 52;

of legal profession, 45, 48;

of peers, 50;

of widows, 46 Presentation at Court, 73;

at foreign Courts, 65;

at levees, 82;

at Viceregal Court, Dublin, 229 Presents, christening, 260;

giving, 259;

wedding, 130, 141, 259 Public Balls, 87 RECEIVING guests, 101, 123, 154, 234 Refreshments for "at homes," 153;

at bridge parties, 126;

at children's parties, 194 Refusing invitations, 200 Responsibilities of patronesses, 239 Riding, 204 Royal guests present, 90, 123 Royalty, how to address, 53 SAYING grace, 114 Sending in to dinner, 103 Shaking hands, 225 Shooting, 219 Signing the register, 134 Silver weddings, 253 State Balls, 97 State mourning, 97 Subscription dances, 256 Supper, going in to, 123 Surnames of peculiar pronunciation, 69 TEA for afternoon callers, 42 Titles, how to use in speaking, 53 Town garden-parties, 171 Trousseau, 141 UNDESIRED introductions, 6 WALKING, 202

Water parties, 188 Wedding cake, 137, 142;

cards, 142;

etiquette, 129;

expenses, 146;

favours, 134;

fees, 129, 148;

golden, 255;

invitations, 129;

luncheon, 137;

of widow, 134;

presents, 130, 141, 259;

receptions, 136, 143;

ring, 130;

service, 131;

silver, 253 Widow's wedding, 134 Writing invitations, 195 THE END

Transcriber's Notes: Passages in italics are indicated by _underscore_.

Passages in bold style are indicated by =bold=.

Currency symbols such as L, d. , and s. are italicised in the original text, this format has been removed in the current text version for a smoother reading experience.

C[=o]burn (page 70) and P[=y]tch'ley (page 71) have diacritical marks.

They are marked as [=o] which represents a marcron (straight line) above the o and [=y] which represents a macron above the y. The following words have been retained in both versions: table-cloth and tablecloth out-door and outdoor solemnized and solemnised The following misprints have been corrected: changed "AT THE VICE-REGAL COURT," into "AT THE VICEREGAL COURT," page viii changed "refusal, and the profered" into "refusal, and the proffered" page 8 changed "by a manservant or" into "by a man-servant or" page 21 changed "to the manservant silently," into "to the man-servant silently," page 22 changed "Villiers" into Villiers."

page 72 changed "a tablespoon for soup," into "a table-spoon for soup," page 108 changed "a box of bonbons," into "a box of bon-bons," page 125 changed "chickens, game, mayonaises," into "chickens, game, mayonnaises," page 139 changed "at dinner-table, 80, 116;" into "at dinner-table, 108, 116;" page 266 changed "Levees, 82," into "Levees, 82;" page 266 Other than the corrections listed above, printer's inconsistencies in spelling, punctuation, hyphenation, and ligature usage have been retained.

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