Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 3 — Love and Pain I, Part 1

The relation of love to pain is one of the most difficult problems, and yet one of the most fundamental, in the whole range of sexual psychology.

Why is it that love inflicts, and even seeks to inflict, pain?

Why is it that love suffers pain, and even seeks to suffer it?

In answering that question, it seems to me, we have to take an apparently circuitous route, sometimes going beyond the ostensible limits of sex altogether; but if we can succeed in answering it we shall have come very near one of the great mysteries of love.

At the same time we shall have made clear the normal basis on which rest the extreme aberrations of love.

The chief key to the relationship of love to pain is to be found by returning to the consideration of the essential phenomena of courtship in the animal world generally.

Courtship is a play, a game; even its combats are often, to a large extent, mock-combats; but the process behind it is one of terrible earnestness, and the play may at any moment become deadly.

Courtship tends to involve a mock-combat between males for the possession of the female which may at any time become a real combat; it is a pursuit of the female by the male which may at any time become a kind of persecution; so that, as Colin Scott remarks, "Courting may be looked upon as a refined and delicate form of combat."

The note of courtship, more especially among mammals, is very easily forced, and as soon as we force it we reach pain.

[61] The intimate and inevitable association in the animal world of combat--of the fighting and hunting impulses--with the process of courtship alone suffices to bring love into close connection with pain.

Among mammals the male wins the female very largely by the display of force.

The infliction of pain must inevitably be a frequent indirect result of the exertion of power.

It is even more than this; the infliction of pain by the male on the female may itself be a gratification of the impulse to exert force.

This tendency has always to be held in check, for it is of the essence of courtship that the male should win the female, and she can only be won by the promise of pleasure.

The tendency of the male to inflict pain must be restrained, so far as the female is concerned, by the consideration of what is pleasing to her.

Yet, the more carefully we study the essential elements of courtship, the clearer it becomes that, playful as these manifestations may seem on the surface, in every direction they are verging on pain.

It is so among animals generally; it is so in man among savages.

"It is precisely the alliance of pleasure and pain," wrote the physiologist Burdach, "which constitutes the voluptuous emotion."

Nor is this emotional attitude entirely confined to the male.

The female also in courtship delights to arouse to the highest degree in the male the desire for her favors and to withhold those favors from him, thus finding on her part also the enjoyment of power in cruelty.

"One's cruelty is one's power," Millament says in Congreve's _Way of the World_, "and when one parts with one's cruelty one parts with one's power."

At the outset, then, the impulse to inflict pain is brought into courtship, and at the same time rendered a pleasurable idea to the female, because with primitive man, as well as among his immediate ancestors, the victor in love has been the bravest and strongest rather than the most beautiful or the most skilful.

Until he can fight he is not reckoned a man and he cannot hope to win a woman.

Among the African Masai a man is not supposed to marry until he has blooded his spear, and in a very different part of the world, among the Dyaks of Borneo, there can be little doubt that the chief incentive to head-hunting is the desire to please the women, the possession of a head decapitated by himself being an excellent way of winning a maiden's favor.

[62] Such instances are too well known to need multiplication here, and they survive in civilization, for, even among ourselves, although courtship is now chiefly ruled by quite other considerations, most women are in some degree emotionally affected by strength and courage.

But the direct result of this is that a group of phenomena with which cruelty and the infliction of pain must inevitably be more or less allied is brought within the sphere of courtship and rendered agreeable to women.

Here, indeed, we have the source of that love of cruelty which some have found so marked in women.

This is a phase of courtship which helps us to understand how it is that, as we shall see, the idea of pain, having become associated with sexual emotion, may be pleasurable to women.

Thus, in order to understand the connection between love and pain, we have once more to return to the consideration, under a somewhat new aspect, of the fundamental elements in the sexual impulse.

In discussing the "Evolution of Modesty" we found that the primary part of the female in courtship is the playful, yet serious, assumption of the rôle of a hunted animal who lures on the pursuer, not with the object of escaping, but with the object of being finally caught.

In considering the "Analysis of the Sexual Impulse" we found that the primary part of the male in courtship is by the display of his energy and skill to capture the female or to arouse in her an emotional condition which leads her to surrender herself to him, this process itself at the same time heightening his own excitement.

In the playing of these two different parts is attained in both male and female that charging of nervous energy, that degree of vascular tumescence, necessary for adequate discharge and detumescence in an explosion by which sperm-cells and germ-cells are brought together for the propagation of the race.

We are now concerned with the necessary interplay of the differing male and female rôles in courtship, and with their accidental emotional by-products.

Both male and female are instinctively seeking the same end of sexual union at the moment of highest excitement.

There cannot, therefore, be real conflict.

[63] But there is the semblance of a conflict, an apparent clash of aim, an appearance of cruelty.

Moreover,--and this is a significant moment in the process from our present point of view,--when there are rivals for the possession of one female there is always a possibility of actual combat, so tending to introduce an element of real violence, of undisguised cruelty, which the male inflicts on his rival and which the female views with satisfaction and delight in the prowess of the successful claimant.

Here we are brought close to the zoölogical root of the connection between love and pain.

[64] In his admirable work on play in man Groos has fully discussed the plays of combat (_Kampfspiele_), which begin to develop even in childhood and assume full activity during adolescence; and he points out that, while the impulse to such play certainly has a wider biological significance, it still possesses a relationship to the sexual life and to the rivalries of animals in courtship which must not be forgotten.

[65] Nor is it only in play that the connection between love and combativity may still be traced.

With the epoch of the first sexual relationship, Marro points out, awakes the instinct of cruelty, which prompts the youth to acts which are sometimes in absolute contrast to his previous conduct, and leads him to be careless of the lives of others as well as of his own life.

[66] Marro presents a diagram showing how crimes against the person in Italy rise rapidly from the age of 16 to 20 and reach a climax between 21 and 25. In Paris, Gamier states, crimes of blood are six times more frequent in adolescents (aged 16 to 20) than in adults.

It is the same elsewhere.

[67] This tendency to criminal violence during the age-period of courtship is a by-product of the sexual impulse, a kind of tertiary sexual character.

In the process of what is commonly termed "marriage by capture" we have a method of courtship which closely resembles the most typical form of animal courtship, and is yet found in all but the highest and most artificial stages of human society.

It may not be true that, as MacLennan and others have argued, almost every race of man has passed through an actual stage of marriage by capture, but the phenomena in question have certainly been extremely widespread and exist in popular custom even among the highest races today.

George Sand has presented a charming picture of such a custom, existing in France, in her _Mare au Diable_.

Farther away, among the Kirghiz, the young woman is pursued by all her lovers, but she is armed with a formidable whip, which she does not hesitate to use if overtaken by a lover to whom she is not favorable.

Among the Malays, according to early travelers, courtship is carried on in the water in canoes with double-bladed paddles; or, if no water is near, the damsel, stripped naked of all but a waistband, is given a certain start and runs off on foot followed by her lover.

Vaughan Stevens in 1896 reported that this performance is merely a sport; but Skeat and Blagden, in their more recent and very elaborate investigations in the Malay States, find that it is a rite.

Even if we regard "marriage by capture" as simply a primitive human institution stimulated by tribal exigencies and early social conditions, yet, when we recall its widespread and persistent character, its close resemblance to the most general method of courtship among animals, and the emotional tendencies which still persist even in the most civilized men and women, we have to recognize that we are in presence of a real psychological impulse which cannot fail in its exercise to introduce some element of pain into love.

There are, however, two fundamentally different theories concerning "marriage by capture."

According to the first, that of MacLennan, which, until recently, has been very widely accepted, and to which Professor Tylor has given the weight of his authority, there has really been in primitive society a recognized stage in which marriages were effected by the capture of the wife.

Such a state of things MacLennan regarded as once world-wide.

There can be no doubt that women very frequently have been captured in this way among primitive peoples.

Nor, indeed, has the custom been confined to savages.

In Europe we find that even up to comparatively recent times the abduction of women was not only very common, but was often more or less recognized.

In England it was not until Henry VII's time that the violent seizure of a woman was made a criminal offense, and even then the statute was limited to women possessed of lands and goods.

A

man might still carry off a girl provided she was not an heiress; but even the abduction of heiresses continued to be common, and in Ireland remained so until the end of the eighteenth century.

But it is not so clear that such raids and abductions, even when not of a genuinely hostile character, have ever been a recognized and constant method of marriage.

According to the second set of theories, the capture is not real, but simulated, and may be accounted for by psychological reasons.

Fustel de Coulanges, in _La Cité Antique_,[68] discussing simulated marriage by capture among the Romans, mentioned the view that it was "a symbol of the young girl's modesty," but himself regarded it as an act of force to symbolize the husband's power.

He was possibly alluding to Herbert Spencer, who suggested a psychological explanation of the apparent prevalence of marriage by capture based on the supposition that, capturing a wife being a proof of bravery, such a method of obtaining a wife would be practised by the strongest men and be admired, while, on the other hand, he considered that "female coyness" was "an important factor" in constituting the more formal kinds of marriage by capture ceremonial.

[69] Westermarck, while accepting true marriage by capture, considers that Spencer's statement "can scarcely be disproved."

[70] In his valuable study of certain aspects of primitive marriage Crawley, developing the explanation rejected by Fustel de Coulanges, regards the fundamental fact to be the modesty of women, which has to be neutralized, and this is done by "a ceremonial use of force, which is half real and half make-believe."

Thus the manifestations are not survivals, but "arising in a natural way from normal human feelings.

It is not the tribe from which the bride is abducted, nor, primarily, her family and kindred, but her _sex_"; and her "sexual characters of timidity, bashfulness, and passivity are sympathetically overcome by make-believe representations of male characteristic actions."

[71] It is not necessary for the present purpose that either of these two opposing theories concerning the origin of the customs and feelings we are here concerned with should be definitely rejected.

Whichever theory is adopted, the fundamental psychic element which here alone concerns us still exists intact.

[72] It may be pointed out, however, that we probably have to accept two groups of such phenomena: one, seldom or never existing as the sole form of marriage, in which the capture is real; and another in which the "capture" is more or less ceremonial or playful.

The two groups coexist among the Turcomans, as described by Vambery, who are constantly capturing and enslaving the Persians of both sexes, and, side by side with this, have a marriage ceremonial of mock-capture of entirely playful character.

At the same time the two groups sometimes overlap, as is indicated by cases in which, while the "capture" appears to be ceremonial, the girl is still allowed to escape altogether if she wishes.

The difficulty of disentangling the two groups is shown by the fact that so careful an investigator as Westermarck cites cases of real capture and mock-capture together without attempting to distinguish between them.

From our present point of view it is quite unnecessary to attempt such a distinction.

Whether the capture is simulated or real, the man is still playing the masculine and aggressive part proper to the male; the woman is still playing the feminine and defensive part proper to the female.

The universal prevalence of these phenomena is due to the fact that manifestations of this kind, real or pretended, afford each sex the very best opportunity for playing its proper part in courtship, and so, even when the force is real, must always gratify a profound instinct.

It is not necessary to quote examples of marriage by capture from the numerous and easily accessible books on the evolution of marriage.

(Sir A. B.

Ellis, adopting MacLennan's standpoint, presented a concise statement of the facts in an article on "Survivals from Marriage by Capture," _Popular Science Monthly_, 1891, p. 207. ) It may, however, be worth while to bring together from scattered sources a few of the facts concerning the phenomena in this group and their accompanying emotional state, more especially as they bear on the association of love with force, inflicted or suffered.

In New Caledonia, Foley remarks, the successful coquette goes off with her lover into the bush.

"It usually happens that, when she is successful, she returns from her expedition, tumbled, beaten, scratched, even bitten on the nape and shoulders, her wounds thus bearing witness to the quadrupedal attitude she has assumed amid the foliage."

(Foley, _Bulletin de la Société d'Anthropologie_, Paris, November 6, 1879. ) Of the natives of New South Wales, Turnbull remarked at the beginning of the nineteenth century that "their mode of courtship is not without its singularity.

When a young man sees a female to his fancy he informs her she must accompany him home; the lady refuses; he not only enforces compliance with threats but blows;

thus the gallant, according to the custom, never fails to gain the victory, and bears off the willing, though struggling pugilist.

The colonists for some time entertained the idea that the women were compelled and forced away against their inclinations; but the young ladies informed them that this mode of gallantry was the custom, and perfectly to their taste," (J. Turnbull, _A Voyage Round the World_, 1813, p. 98; cf.

Brough Smyth, _Aborigines of Victoria_, 1878, vol. i, p. 81. ) As regards capture of women among Central Australian tribes, Spencer and Gillen remark: "We have never in any of these central tribes met with any such thing, and the clubbing part of the story may be dismissed, so far as the central area of the continent is concerned.

To the casual observer what looks like a capture (we are, of course, only speaking of these tribes) is in reality an elopement, in which the woman is an aiding and abetting party."

(_Northern Tribes of Central Australia_.

p. 32. ) "The New Zealand method of courtship and matrimony is a most extraordinary one.

A man sees a woman whom he fancies he should like for a wife; he asks the consent of her father, or, if an orphan, of her nearest relative, which, if he obtain, he carries his intended off by force, she resisting with all her strength, and, as the New Zealand girls are generally fairly robust, sometimes a dreadful struggle takes place; both are soon stripped to the skin and it is sometimes the work of hours to remove the fair prize a hundred yards.

It sometimes happens that she secures her retreat into her father's house, and the lover loses all chance of ever obtaining her."

(A.

Earle, _Narratives of Residence in New Zealand_, 1832, p. 244. ) Among the Eskimos (probably near Smith Sound) "there is no marriage ceremony further than that the boy is required to carry off his bride by main force, for even among these blubber-eating people the woman only saves her modesty by a show of resistance, although she knows years beforehand that her destiny is sealed and that she is to become the wife of the man from whose embraces, when the nuptial day comes, she is obliged by the inexorable law of public opinion to free herself, if possible, by kicking and screaming with might and main until she is safely landed in the hut of her future lord, when she gives up the combat very cheerfully and takes possession of her new abode.

The betrothal often takes place at a very early period of life and at very dissimilar ages."

Marriage only takes place when the lover has killed his first seal; this is the test of manhood and maturity.

(J.

J.

Hayes, _Open Polar Sea_, 1867, p. 432. ) Marriage by "capture" is common in war and raiding in central Africa.

"The women, as a rule," Johnston says, "make no very great resistance on these occasions.

It is almost like playing a game.

A woman is surprised as she goes to get water at the stream, or when she is on the way to or from the plantation.

The man has only got to show her she is cornered and that escape is not easy or pleasant and she submits to be carried off.

As a general rule, they seem to accept very cheerfully these abrupt changes in their matrimonial existence."

(Sir H. H.

Johnston, _British Central Africa_, p. 412. ) Among the wild tribes of the Malay Peninsula in one form of wedding rite the bridegroom is required to run seven times around an artificial mound decorated with flowers and the emblem of the people's religion.

In the event of the bridegroom failing to catch the bride the marriage has to be postponed.

Among the Orang Laut, or sea-gipsies, the pursuit sometimes takes the form of a canoe-race; the woman is given a good start and must be overtaken before she has gone a certain distance.

(W.

W.

Skeat, _Journal Anthropological Institute_, Jan.

-June, 1902, p. 134; Skeat and Blagden, _Pagan Races of the Malay_, vol. ii, p. 69 et seq.

, fully discuss the ceremony around the mound.

) "Calmuck women ride better than the men.

A male Calmuck on horseback looks as if he was intoxicated, and likely to fall off every instant, though he never loses his seat; but the women sit with more ease, and ride with extraordinary skill.

The ceremony of marriage among the Calmucks is performed on horseback.

A girl is first mounted, who rides off at full speed.

Her lover pursues, and if he overtakes her she becomes his wife and the marriage is consummated upon the spot, after which she returns with him to his tent.

But it sometimes happens that the woman does not wish to marry the person by whom she is pursued, in which case she will not suffer him to overtake her; and we were assured that no instance occurs of a Calmuck girl being thus caught, unless she has a partiality for her pursuer.

If she dislikes him, she rides, to use the language of English sportsmen, 'neck or nothing,' until she has completely escaped or until the pursuer's horse is tired out, leaving her at liberty to return, to be afterward chased by some more favored admirer."

(E.

D.

Clarke, _Travels_, 1810, vol. i, p. 333. ) Among the Bedouins marriage is arranged between the lover and the girl's father, often without consulting the girl herself.

"Among the Arabs of Sinai the young maid comes home in the evening with the cattle.

At a short distance from the camp she is met by the future spouse and a couple of his young friends and carried off by force to her father's tent.

If she entertains any suspicion of their designs she defends herself with stones, and often inflicts wounds on the young men, even though she does not dislike the lover, for, according to custom, the more she struggles, bites, kicks, cries, and strikes, the more she is applauded ever after by her own companions."

After being taken to her father's tent, where a man's cloak is thrown over her by one of the bridegroom's relations, she is dressed in garments provided by her future husband, and placed on a camel, "still continuing to struggle in a most unruly manner, and held by the bridegroom's friends on both sides."

She is then placed in a recess of the husband's tent.

Here the marriage is finally consummated, "the bride still continuing to cry very loudly.

It sometimes happens that the husband is obliged to tie his bride, and even to beat her, before she can be induced to comply with his desires."

If, however, she really does not like her husband, she is perfectly free to leave him next morning, and her father is obliged to receive her back whether he wishes to or not.

It is not considered proper for a widow or divorced woman to make any resistance on being married.

(J.

L.

Burckhardt, _Notes on the Bedouins and Wahábys_, 1830, p. 149 et seq.

) Among the Turcomans forays for capturing and enslaving their Persian neighbors were once habitual.

Vambery describes their "marriage ceremonial when the young maiden, attired in bridal costume, mounts a high-bred courser, taking on her lap the carcass of a lamb or goat, and setting off at full gallop, followed by the bridegroom and other young men of the party, also on horseback; she is always to strive, by adroit turns, etc. , to avoid her pursuers, that no one approach near enough to snatch from her the burden on her lap.

This game, called _kökbüri_ (green wolf), is in use among all the nomads of central Asia."

(A.

Vambery, _Travels in Central Asia_, 1864, p. 323. ) In China, a missionary describes how, when he was called upon to marry the daughter of a Chinese Christian brought up in native customs, he was compelled to wait several hours, as the bride refused to get up and dress until long after the time appointed for the wedding ceremony, and then only by force.

"Extreme reluctance and dislike and fear are the true marks of a happy and lively wedding."

(A.

E.

Moule, _New China and Old_, p. 128. ) It is interesting to find that in the Indian art of love a kind of mock-combat, accompanied by striking, is a recognized and normal method of heightening tumescence.

Vatsyayana has a chapter "On Various Manners of Striking," and he approves of the man striking the woman on the back, belly, flanks, and buttocks, before and during coitus, as a kind of play, increasing as sexual excitement increases, which the woman, with cries and groans, pretends to bid the man to stop.

It is mentioned that, especially in southern India, various instruments (scissors, needles, etc. ) are used in striking, but this practice is condemned as barbarous and dangerous.

(_Kama Sutra_, French translation, iii, chapter v.

) In the story of Aladdin, in the _Arabian Nights_, the bride is undressed by the mother and the other women, who place her in the bridegroom's bed "as if by force, and, according to the custom of the newly married, she pretends to resist, twisting herself in every direction, and seeking to escape from their hands."

(_Les Mille Nuits_, tr.

Mardrus, vol. xi, p. 253. ) It is said that in those parts of Germany where preliminary _Probenächte_ before formal marriage are the rule it is not uncommon for a young woman before finally giving herself to a man to provoke him to a physical struggle.

If she proves stronger she dismisses him; if he is stronger she yields herself willingly.

(W.

Henz, "Probenächte," _Sexual-Probleme_, Oct.

, 1910, p. 743. ) Among the South Slavs of Servia and Bulgaria, according to Krauss, it is the custom to win a woman by seizing her by the ankle and bringing her to the ground by force.

This method of wooing is to the taste of the woman, and they are refractory to any other method.

The custom of beating or being beaten before coitus is also found among the South Slavs.

(Kryptadia, vol. vi, p. 209. ) In earlier days violent courtship was viewed with approval in the European world, even among aristocratic circles.

Thus in the medieval _Lai de Graélent_ of Marie de France this Breton knight is represented as very chaste, possessing a high ideal of love and able to withstand the wiles of women.

One day when he is hunting in a forest he comes upon a naked damsel bathing, together with her handmaidens.

Overcome by her beauty, he seizes her clothes in case she should be alarmed, but is persuaded to hand them to her; then he proceeds to make love to her.

She replies that his love is an insult to a woman of her high lineage.

Finding her so proud, Graélent sees that his prayers are in vain.

He drags her by force into the depth of the forest, has his will of her, and begs her very gently not to be angry, promising to love her loyally and never to leave her.

The damsel saw that he was a good knight, courteous, and wise.

She thought within herself that if she were to leave him she would never find a better friend.

Brantôme mentions a lady who confessed that she liked to be "half-forced" by her husband, and he remarks that a woman who is "a little difficult and resists" gives more pleasure also to her lover than one who yields at once, just as a hard-fought battle is a more notable triumph than an easily won victory.

(Brantôme, _Vie des Dames Galantes_, discours i. ) Restif de la Bretonne, again, whose experience was extensive, wrote in his _Anti-Justine_ that "all women of strong temperament like a sort of brutality in sexual intercourse and its accessories."

Ovid had said that a little force is pleasing to a woman, and that she is grateful to the ravisher against whom she struggles (_Ars Amatoria_, lib.

i).

One of Janet's patients (Raymond and Janet, _Les Obsessions et la Psychasthénie_, vol. ii, p. 406) complained that her husband was too good, too devoted.

"He does not know how to make me suffer a little.

One cannot love anyone who does not make one suffer a little."

Another hysterical woman (a silk fetichist, frigid with men) had dreams of men and animals abusing her: "I cried with pain and was happy at the same time."

(Clérambault, _Archives d'Anthropologie Criminelle_, June, 1908, p. 442. ) It has been said that among Slavs of the lower class the wives feel hurt if they are not beaten by their husbands.

Paullinus, in the seventeenth century, remarked that Russian women are never more pleased and happy than when beaten by their husbands, and regard such treatment as proof of love.

(See, e. g. , C.

F.

von Schlichtegroll, _Sacher-Masoch und der Masochismus_, p. 69. ) Krafft-Ebing believes that this is true at the present day, and adds that it is the same in Hungary, a Hungarian official having informed him that the peasant women of the Somogyer Comitate do not think they are loved by their husbands until they have received the first box on the ear.

(Krafft-Ebing, _Psychopathia Sexualis_, English translation of the tenth edition, p. 188. ) I

may add that a Russian proverb says "Love your wife like your soul and beat her like your _shuba_" (overcoat); and, according to another Russian proverb, "a dear one's blows hurt not long."

At the same time it has been remarked that the domination of men by women is peculiarly frequent among the Slav peoples.

(V.

Schlichtegroll, op.

cit.

, p. 23. ) Cellini, in an interesting passage in his _Life_ (book ii, chapters xxxiv-xxxv), describes his own brutal treatment of his model Caterina, who was also his mistress, and the pleasure which, to his surprise, she took in it.

Dr. Simon Forman, also, the astrologist, tells in his _Autobiography_ (p. 7) how, as a young and puny apprentice to a hosier, he was beaten, scolded, and badly treated by the servant girl, but after some years of this treatment he turned on her, beat her black and blue, and ever after "Mary would do for him all that she could."

That it is a sign of love for a man to beat his sweetheart, and a sign much appreciated by women, is illustrated by the episode of Cariharta and Repolido, in "Rinconete and Cortadillo," one of Cervantes's _Exemplary Novels_.

The Indian women of South America feel in the same way, and Mantegazza when traveling in Bolivia found that they complained when they were not beaten by their husbands, and that a girl was proud when she could say "He loves me greatly, for he often beats me."

(_Fisiologia della Donna_, chapter xiii.

) The same feeling evidently existed in classic antiquity, for we find Lucian, in his "Dialogues of Courtesans," makes a woman say: "He who has not rained blows on his mistress and torn her hair and her garments is not yet in love," while Ovid advises lovers sometimes to be angry with their sweethearts and to tear their dresses.

Among the Italian Camorrista, according to Russo, wives are very badly treated.

Expression is given to this fact in the popular songs.

But the women only feel themselves tenderly loved when they are badly treated by their husbands; the man who does not beat them they look upon as a fool.

It is the same in the east end of London.

"If anyone has doubts as to the brutalities practised on women by men," writes a London magistrate, "let him visit the London Hospital on a Saturday night.

Very terrible sights will meet his eye.

Sometimes as many as twelve or fourteen women may be seen seated in the receiving room, waiting for their bruised and bleeding faces and bodies to be attended to.

In nine cases out of ten the injuries have been inflicted by brutal and perhaps drunken husbands.

The nurses tell me, however, that any remarks they may make reflecting on the aggressors are received with great indignation by the wretched sufferers.

They positively will not hear a single word against the cowardly ruffians.

'Sometimes,' said a nurse to me, 'when I have told a woman that her husband is a brute, she has drawn herself up and replied: "You mind your own business, miss. We find the rates and taxes, and the likes of you are paid out of 'em to wait on us."

'" (Montagu Williams, _Round London_, p. 79. ) "The prostitute really loves her _souteneur_, notwithstanding all the persecutions he inflicts on her.

Their torments only increase the devotion of the poor slaves to their 'Alphonses.'

Parent-Duchâtelet wrote that he had seen them come to the hospital with their eyes out of their heads, faces bleeding, and bodies torn by the blows of their drunken lovers, but as soon as they were healed they went back to them.

Police-officers tell us that it is very difficult to make a prostitute confess anything concerning her _souteneur_.

Thus, Rosa L. , whom her 'Alphonse' had often threatened to kill, even putting the knife to her throat, would say nothing, and denied everything when the magistrate questioned her.

Maria R. , with her face marked by a terrible scar produced by her _souteneur_, still carefully preserved many years afterward the portrait of the aggressor, and when we asked her to explain her affection she replied: 'But he wounded me because he loved me.'

The _souteneur's_ brutality only increases the ill-treated woman's love; the humiliation and slavery in which the woman's soul is drowned feed her love."

(Niceforo, _Il Gergo_, etc. , 1897, p. 128. ) In a modern novel written in autobiographic form by a young Australian lady the heroine is represented as striking her betrothed with a whip when he merely attempts to kiss her.

Later on her behavior so stings him that his self-control breaks down and he seizes her fiercely by the arms.

For the first time she realizes that he loves her.

"I laughed a joyous little laugh, saying 'Hal, we are quits'; when on disrobing for the night I discovered on my soft white shoulders and arms--so susceptible to bruises--many marks, and black.

It had been a very happy day for me."

(Miles Franklin, _My Brilliant Career_.

) It is in large measure the existence of this feeling of attraction for violence which accounts for the love-letters received by men who are accused of crimes of violence.

Thus in one instance, in Chicago (as Dr. Kiernan writes to me), "a man arrested for conspiracy to commit abortion, and also suspected of being a sadist, received many proposals of marriage and other less modest expressions of affection from unknown women.

To judge by the signatures, these women belonged to the Germans and Slavs rather than to the Anglo-Celts."

Neuropathic or degenerative conditions sometimes serve to accentuate or reveal ancestral traits that are very ancient in the race.

Under such conditions the tendency to find pleasure in subjection and pain, which is often faintly traceable even in normal civilized women, may become more pronounced.

This may be seen in a case described in some detail in the _Archivio di Psichiatria_.

The subject was a young lady of 19, of noble Italian birth, but born in Tunis.

On the maternal side there is a somewhat neurotic heredity, and she is herself subject to attacks of hystero-epileptoid character.

She was very carefully, but strictly, educated; she knows several languages, possesses marked intellectual aptitudes, and is greatly interested in social and political questions, in which she takes the socialistic and revolutionary side.

She has an attractive and sympathetic personality; in complexion she is dark, with dark eyes and very dark and abundant hair; the fine down on the upper lip and lower parts of the cheeks is also much developed; the jaw is large, the head acrocephalic, and the external genital organs of normal size, but rather asymmetric.

Ever since she was a child she has loved to work and dream in solitude.

Her dreams have always been of love, since menstruation began as early as the age of 10, and accompanied by strong sexual feelings, though at that age these feelings remained vague and indefinite; but in them the desire for pleasure was always accompanied by the desire for pain, the desire to bite and destroy something, and, as it were, to annihilate herself.

She experienced great relief after periods of "erotic rumination," and if this rumination took place at night she would sometimes masturbate, the contact of the bedclothes, she said, giving her the illusion of a man.

In time this vague longing for the male gave place to more definite desires for a man who would love her, and, as she imagined, strike her.

Eventually she formed secret relationships with two or three lovers in succession, each of these relationships being, however, discovered by her family and leading to ineffectual attempts at suicide.

But the association of pain with love, which had developed spontaneously in her solitary dreams, continued in her actual relations with her lovers.

During coitus she would bite and squeeze her arms until the nails penetrated the flesh.

When her lover asked her why at the moment of coitus she would vigorously repel him, she replied: "Because I want to be possessed by force, to be hurt, suffocated, to be thrown down in a struggle."

At another time she said: "I want a man with all his vitality, so that he can torture and kill my body."

We seem to see here clearly the ancient biological character of animal courtship, the desire of the female to be violently subjugated by the male.

In this case it was united to sensitiveness to the sexual domination of an intellectual man, and the subject also sought to stimulate her lovers' intellectual tastes.

(_Archivio di Psichiatria_, vol. xx, fasc.

5-6, p. 528. ) This association between love and pain still persists even among the most normal civilized men and women possessing well-developed sexual impulses.

The masculine tendency to delight in domination, the feminine tendency to delight in submission, still maintain the ancient traditions when the male animal pursued the female.

The phenomena of "marriage by capture," in its real and its simulated forms, have been traced to various causes.

But it has to be remembered that these causes could only have been operative in the presence of a favorable emotional aptitude, constituted by the zoölogical history of our race and still traceable even today.

To exert power, as psychologists well recognize, is one of our most primary impulses, and it always tends to be manifested in the attitude of a man toward the woman he loves.

[73] It might be possible to maintain that the primitive element of more or less latent cruelty in courtship tends to be more rather than less marked in civilized man.

In civilization the opportunity of dissipating the surplus energy of the courtship process by inflicting pain on rivals usually has to be inhibited; thus the woman to be wooed tends to become the recipient of the whole of this energy, both in its pleasure-giving and its pain-giving aspects.

Moreover, the natural process of courtship, as it exists among animals and usually among the lower human races, tends to become disguised and distorted in civilization, as well by economic conditions as by conventional social conditions and even ethical prescription.

It becomes forgotten that the woman's pleasure is an essential element in the process of courtship.

A woman is often reduced to seek a man for the sake of maintenance; she is taught that pleasure is sinful or shameful, that sex-matters are disgusting, and that it is a woman's duty, and also her best policy, to be in subjection to her husband.

Thus, various external checks which normally inhibit any passing over of masculine sexual energy into cruelty are liable to be removed.

We have to admit that a certain pleasure in manifesting his power over a woman by inflicting pain upon her is an outcome and survival of the primitive process of courtship, and an almost or quite normal constituent of the sexual impulse in man.

But it must be at once added that in the normal well-balanced and well-conditioned man this constituent of the sexual impulse, when present, is always held in check.

When the normal man inflicts, or feels the impulse to inflict, some degree of physical pain on the woman he loves he can scarcely be said to be moved by cruelty.

He feels, more or less obscurely, that the pain he inflicts, or desires to inflict, is really a part of his love, and that, moreover, it is not really resented by the woman on whom it is exercised.

His feeling is by no means always according to knowledge, but it has to be taken into account as an essential part of his emotional state.

The physical force, the teasing and bullying, which he may be moved to exert under the stress of sexual excitement, are, he usually more or less unconsciously persuades himself, not really unwelcome to the object of his love.

[74] Moreover, we have to bear in mind the fact--a very significant fact from more than one point of view--that the normal manifestations of a woman's sexual pleasure are exceedingly like those of pain.

"The outward expressions of pain," as a lady very truly writes,--"tears, cries, etc. ,--which are laid stress on to prove the cruelty of the person who inflicts it, are not so different from those of a woman in the ecstasy of passion, when she implores the man to desist, though that is really the last thing she desires."

[75] If a man is convinced that he is causing real and unmitigated pain, he becomes repentant at once.

If this is not the case he must either be regarded as a radically abnormal person or as carried away by passion to a point of temporary insanity.