Grimm Tales Made Gay — 15 - How a Cat Was Annoyed and a Poet Was Booted
[Illustration] _How a Cat Was Annoyed and a Poet Was Booted_ A poet had a cat.
There is nothing odd in that-- (I _might_ make a little pun about the _Mews_!
) But what is really more Remarkable, she wore A pair of pointed patent-leather shoes.
And I doubt me greatly whether E'er you heard the like of that: Pointed shoes of patent-leather On a cat!
[Illustration] His time he used to pass Writing sonnets, on the grass-- (I _might_ say something good on _pen_ and _sward_!
) While the cat sat near at hand, Trying hard to understand The poems he occasionally roared.
(I myself possess a feline, But when poetry I roar He is sure to make a bee-line For the door.
) The poet, cent by cent, All his patrimony spent-- (I _might_ tell how he went from _werse_ to _werse_!
) Till the cat was sure she could, By advising, do him good So addressed him in a manner that was terse: "We are bound toward the scuppers, And the time has come to act, Or we'll both be on our uppers For a fact!"
On her boot she fixed her eye, But the boot made no reply-- (I _might_ say: "Couldn't speak to save _its sole_!"
) And the foolish bard, instead Of responding, only read A verse that wasn't bad upon the whole: And it pleased the cat so greatly, Though she knew not what it meant, That I'll quote approximately How it went:-- "If I should live to be The last leaf upon the tree"-- (I _might_ put in: "I think I'd just as _leaf_!"
) "Let them smile, as I do now, At the old forsaken bough"-- Well, he'd plagiarized it bodily, in brief!
But that cat of simple breeding Couldn't read the lines between, So she took it to a leading Magazine.
[Illustration] She was jarred and very sore When they showed her to the door.
(I _might_ hit off the _door_ that was _a jar_!
) To the spot she swift returned Where the poet sighed and yearned, And she told him that he'd gone a little far.
"Your performance with this rhyme has Made me absolutely sick," She remarked.
"I think the time has Come to kick!"
[Illustration] I could fill up half the page With descriptions of her rage-- (I _might_ say that she went a bit _too fur_!
) When he smiled and murmured: "Shoo!"
"There is one thing I can do!"
She answered with a wrathful kind of purr.
"You may shoo me, and it suit you, But I feel my conscience bid Me, as tit for tat, to boot you!"
(Which she did.
) [Illustration] _The Moral_ of the plot (Though I say it, as should not!
) Is: An editor is difficult to suit.
But again there're other times When the man who fashions rhymes Is a rascal, and a bully one to boot!
