Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 2, No. 22, July, 1921 — Pasture Pot Pourri
_Pasture Pot Pourri_ No, Madeline, “The Charge of the Light Brigade” does not refer to your gas and electric bills.
* * * * * Bedroom Farcical Maxims Never retire in a garage unless you auto, and— Never sleep in a stable for a stall.
* * * * * Love is the intoxication of joy—marriage is the D. T’s. * * * * * Here We Are—In Again Policeman Knife had by his wife A set of bouncing twins;
One took a cough which took it off From this abode of sins;
Number one no sooner died And into the coffin slid, When number two took the flu And joined the other kid.
* * * * * She only weighs two pounds less than a horse.
* * * * * THERE ARE A THOUSAND THINGS LIFE’S WORTH LIVING FOR.
ONE IS WINE, ONE IS
SONG—AND THE OTHER 998 ARE WOMEN.
* * * * * I got a girl named Stella, She’s got a mouth like an open umbrella;
She’s knock-kneed, crippled, her eyes turned in— But a darn good girl for the shape she’s in.
* * * * * Woman Rocks whereon greatest men have often wrecked.
* * * * * If all the trees had limbs like thine, I think the woods would be divine.
* * * * * “No one seems to kick about the high cost of hooch these days.
” “Of course not; the kick is in the drink.
” * * * * * They were married and lived happily ever after—next day.
* * * * * _I asked our stenog.
why firemen wear red suspenders.
She said, “Those I know don’t. ”_ * * * * * I know a man without a sin—he is dead.
* * * * * Kiss Fighters Rose is game; Mary’s pretty small; Nellie fights back,—but I like them all.
* * * * * Life is just one damnthing after another—and love is just two damnthings after each other.
* * * * * Why do you wear your stockings inside out?
Because there is a hole on the other side.
* * * * * A news item says knee pants for men are bound to come.
I wonder if the women will stand on the street corner and admire our shapely (?
) laigs?
And will men wear silk hose of green and pink and purple hues, with “Jacob’s ladders” showing?
Let us pray.
* * * * * Alphabetical Stuff Y Y U R
Y Y U B
I C U R
Y Y 4 Me.
But we won’t keep you in suspense—Two wise you are, two wise you be; I see you are, too wise for me.
* * * * * Teacher—“Willie, can you tell me the definition of an hangar?
” Willie—“A place where airplanes are hung.
” * * * * * A Montevidious Comparison (From the Montevideo, Minn.
, American) In Albert Lea, the other day, a man was shot dead when found with another man’s wife.
If this practice were strictly adhered to in Montevideo the undertakers would be rushed to death.
* * * * * Pertinent Question (From Portland Oregonian.
) Young womanhood that wears wrist bottles and check corsets is not typical of the best.
Do their mothers know their route?
* * * * * Tell It to the Judge In a recent scandal case in New York, a lady declined to answer a question because, she said, “It wasn’t fit to tell decent people.
” “Oh, well,” replied the lawyer, “just step up and whisper it to the judge.
” * * * * * Our Short Story He—Cold, Hon’?
She—About to freeze!
He—Want my coat?
She—Just the sleeve!
* * * * * The Glorious Daze Two drunks hanging on a lamp post at 2 A. M.
No. 1—Shay, d’you know Tom Perkins?
No. 2—No, what’s his name?
No. 1—Who?
* * * * * Daytona Beach Ballad Come all you reformers, if you want to raise ’ell.
Here comes a woman from the Breakers Hotel, With dropped-stitched stockings, And high-heeled shoes, A pack of cigarettes And a bottle of booze.
* * * * * Always smile—It gets you something.
