Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 2, No. 22, July, 1921 — Short Quips
The Tale of a Shirt Comfort, the farmers’ journal, says this: Is there any way for a girl to tell her sweetheart his shirt-tail is out?
The same way she would tell her brother or cousin or any friend.
A sweetheart’s shirt-tail is no more sacred or worthy of respect than any other shirt-tail.
A tail belongs to a shirt as much as cuffs or a collar and isn’t any more indecent.
I’d tell anyone to tuck his shirt in—just like that.
* * * * * My girl is so fat she wears inner tubes for garters.
* * * * * All Aboard for Arkansaw Mama’s got eczema, Papa’s got the gout, I’ve got something itchy coo;
It’s just breakin’ out.
* * * * * No Caveman Stuff Here “Oh Jane, how have you been getting on with Ed?
” “Not very well, Dolly; I’ve had to buy only two hair nets for my last five dates with him.
” * * * * * In the Garden of Eden “I’ll peel off,” said the apple.
“If you do, I’ll leave,” said the tree.
* * * * * Especially When the North Wind Blows She was a silly little, gushing thing, and habitually talked without thinking, and in the exaggerated fashion which the female of the species at present affects.
Lately married, she was able to induce her adoring hubby to go with her on shopping expeditions.
Even when the tour included a visit to an establishment where the most intimate of feminine garments were on sale, he did not flinch.
In one such shop, the discreet manageress inquired as to whether a certain set of silken unmentionables, recently purchased, had given full satisfaction.
The little bride’s eyes grew round.
“Oh, they were beautiful!
” she burst out, in her usual fashion.
“Everybody admired them—everybody!
” Turning pale, the unfortunate bridegroom didn’t know for a moment whether to file for congress or go out and get a stiff drink of moonshine.
* * * * * She had a sore throat, and was unable to sing, so the manager buzzed her off to the theater’s medical man the tooter the sweeter.
The doc.
produced his laryngoscope, and as he was adjusting it he pleasantly remarked, “You’d be surprised how far we can see with this little instrument.
” “Oh, is that so, doctor?
” she faltered.
“Well, it can’t be helped, but I ought to tell you that I really had no time to change my things before I came out.
”
