Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 2, No. 22, July, 1921 — Limber Kicks
It is easy to be generous to another man’s wife.
_Limber Kicks_ Oh, I Beg Your Pardon!
I stepped inside and closed the door, Thinking the office was Brady’s, But turned when I saw the white tiled floor, And found that the sign read SEIDAL * * * * * Winding Stares She went up the winding stairs, And close behind I followed;
She stooped down to tie her shoe, My chewing gum I swallowed.
* * * * * Page Billy Misque A girl who is young, cute and frisque, Can always get plenty of home-made whisque;
Any guy she may asque Will slip her a flasque, If she’ll only slip him a kissque.
* * * * * In a parlor were three, My girl, a lamp and me.
Three’s a crowd without a doubt, Wasn’t it nice when the lamp went out?
* * * * * At the Sign of the Zodiac The Ram, the Bull, the Heavenly Twins;
Near the Crab the Lion shines;
The Virgin and the Scales;
The Scorpion, Archer and the Goat;
The Man who holds the Watering Pot, And Fishes with their glittering tails.
* * * * * Shoo Fly, Oil Man!
A horse-fly lit on the old cow’s skin, Hung his tools and spudded in.
Bowed his back and jiggered his pole And all the time he was making a hole.
The cow browsed on, in her usual way, Till the horse-fly’s bit struck regular “pay,” Then she swung her tail with a vicious dig And deftly skidded the horse-fly’s rig.
* * * * * Fastidious A handsome young fellow named Bertie, Was out with a flapper named Gertie;
“Come, kiss me,” he said, But she nodded her head And cried, “I think kissing’s too unsanitary.
” * * * * * Bawl of a Brute Bachelor Here’s to the woman of days gone by;
(May we meet her kind above!
) The woman for whom a man would die, The woman who ruled by love;
Who didn’t harangue and who didn’t parade, In whose home it was sweet to dwell;
Who believed in raising children, And not in raising hell!
* * * * * “Why so thin, my pretty maid?
” “I’m on a fast, kind sir,” she said.
“And how fast are you now?
” he said, “That’s none of your affair,” she said.
* * * * * Lady of the House—You may go to your room now and change your dress.
John, the butler, will show you the way.
Maid (fussed)—Oh, I know how myself, missus.
_California Beach Nuts_ BY REV.
“GOLIGHTLY” MORRILL
