Fantastic Fables — Aesopus Emendatus: Part 1

AESOPUS EMENDATUS

The Cat and the Youth A Cat fell in love with a handsome Young Man, and entreated Venus to change her into a woman.

"I should think," said Venus, "you might make so trifling a change without bothering me.

However, be a woman."

Afterward, wishing to see if the change were complete, Venus caused a mouse to approach, whereupon the woman shrieked and made such a show of herself that the Young Man would not marry her.

The Farmer and His Sons A Farmer being about to die, and knowing that during his illness his Sons had permitted the vineyard to become overgrown with weeds while they improved the shining hour by gambling with the doctor, said to them: "My boys, there is a great treasure buried in the vineyard.

You dig in the ground until you find it."

So the Sons dug up all the weeds, and all the vines too, and even neglected to bury the old man.

Jupiter and the Baby Show Jupiter held a baby show, open to all animals, and a Monkey entered her hideous cub for a prize, but Jupiter only laughed at her.

"It is all very well," said the Monkey, "to laugh at my offspring, but you go into any gallery of antique sculpture and look at the statues and busts of the fellows that you begot yourself."

"'Sh!

don't expose me," said Jupiter, and awarded her the first prize.

The Man and the Dog A Man who had been bitten by a Dog was told that the wound would heal if he would dip a piece of bread in the blood and give it to the Dog.

He did so.

"No," said the Dog; "if I were to accept that, it might be thought that in biting you I was actuated by improper motives."

"And by what motives were you actuated?"

asked the Man.

"I desired," replied the Dog, "merely to harmonise myself with the Divine Scheme of Things.

I'm a child of Nature."

The Cat and the Birds Hearing that the Birds in an aviary were ill, a Cat went to them and said that he was a physician, and would cure them if they would let him in.

"To what school of medicine do you belong?"

asked the Birds.

"I am a Miaulopathist," said the Cat.

"Did you ever practise Gohomoeopathy?"

the Birds inquired, winking faintly.

The Cat took the hint and his leave.

Mercury and the Woodchopper A Woodchopper, who had dropped his axe into a deep pool, besought Mercury to recover it for him.

That thoughtless deity immediately plunged into the pool, which became so salivated that the trees about its margin all came loose and dropped out.

The Fox and the Grapes A Fox, seeing some sour grapes hanging within an inch of his nose, and being unwilling to admit that there was anything he would not eat, solemnly declared that they were out of his reach.

The Penitent Thief A Boy who had been taught by his Mother to steal grew to be a man and was a professional public official.

One day he was taken in the act and condemned to die.

While going to the place of execution he passed his Mother and said to her: "Behold your work!

If you had not taught me to steal, I should not have come to this."

"Indeed!"

said the Mother.

"And who, pray, taught you to be detected?"

The Archer and the Eagle An Eagle mortally wounded by an Archer was greatly comforted to observe that the arrow was feathered with one of his own quills.

"I should have felt bad, indeed," he said, "to think that any other eagle had a hand in this."

Truth and the Traveller A Man travelling in a desert met a Woman.

"Who art thou?"

asked the Man, "and why dost thou dwell in this dreadful place?"

"My name," replied the Woman, "is Truth; and I live in the desert in order to be near my worshippers when they are driven from among their fellows.

They all come, sooner or later."

"Well," said the Man, looking about, "the country doesn't seem to be very thickly settled here."

The Wolf and the Lamb A Lamb, pursued by a Wolf, fled into the temple.

"The priest will catch you and sacrifice you," said the Wolf, "if you remain there."

"It is just as well to be sacrificed by the priest as to be eaten by you," said the Lamb.

"My friend," said the Wolf, "it pains me to see you considering so great a question from a purely selfish point of view.

It is not just as well for me."

The Lion and the Boar A Lion and a Boar, who were fighting for water at a pool, saw some vultures hovering significantly above them.

"Let us make up our quarrel," said the Boar, "or these fellows will get one of us, sure."

"I should not so much mind that," replied the Lion, "if they would get the right one.

However, I am willing to stop fighting, and then perhaps I can grab a vulture.

I like chicken better than pork, anyhow."

The Grasshopper and the Ant One day in winter a hungry Grasshopper applied to an Ant for some of the food which they had stored.

"Why," said the Ant, "did you not store up some food for yourself, instead of singing all the time?"

"So I did," said the Grasshopper; "so I did; but you fellows broke in and carried it all away."

The Fisher and the Fished A Fisherman who had caught a very small Fish was putting it in his basket when it said: "I pray you put me back into the stream, for I can be of no use to you;

the gods do not eat fish."

"But I am no god," said the Fisherman.

"True," said the Fish, "but as soon as Jupiter has heard of your exploit, he will elevate you to the deitage.

You are the only man that ever caught a small fish."

The Farmer and the Fox A Farmer who had a deadly and implacable hatred against a certain Fox, caught him and tied some tow to his tail; then carrying him to the centre of his own grain-field, set the tow on fire and let the animal go.

"Alas!"

said the Farmer, seeing the result; "if that grain had not been heavily insured, I might have had to dissemble my hatred of the Fox."

Dame Fortune and the Traveller A Weary Traveller who had lain down and fallen asleep on the brink of a deep well was discovered by Dame Fortune.

"If this fool," she said, "should have an uneasy dream and roll into the well men would say that I did it.

It is painful to me to be unjustly accused, and I shall see that I am not."

So saying she rolled the man into the well.