Jingle Book — Triangular Tommy

[Illustration] Triangular Tommy, one morning in May, Went out for a walk on the public highway.

Just here I will say, 'Twas a bright sunny day, And the sky it was blue, and the grass it was green, The same sky and grass that you've all of you seen;

And the birds in the trees sang their usual song, And Triangular Tommy went trudging along.

But I can tell you He cared naught for the view.

He did just what small boys of his age always do: He shouted out "Scat!"

At a wandering cat, And he picked a big daisy to stick in his hat;

The clovers he topped, And the toadstools he cropped, And sometimes he scuffled and sometimes he hopped.

[Illustration] He took an old stick and poked at a worm, And merrily chuckled to see the thing squirm;

When he chanced to look up, and in gorgeous array Triangular Tilly was coming his way.

Triangular Tom straightened up in a jiff, And put on his best manner--exceedingly stiff;

And as far as his angular shape would allow Triangular Tom made a beautiful bow.

[Illustration] [Illustration] [Illustration] Triangular Tilly went smilingly by, With a glance that was friendly, but just a bit shy.

And Tom so admired her that after she passed, A backward look over his shoulder he cast.

And he said, "Though I think many girls are but silly, I really admire that Triangular Tilly."

[Illustration] But soon all such thoughts were put out of his head, For who should come by but Triangular Ted, The very boy Tom had been wishing to see!

"Hello!"

said Triangular Tommy, said he.

"Hello!"

said Triangular Ted, and away Those two children scooted to frolic and play.

And they had, on the green, Where 'twas all dry and clean, The best game of leap-frog that ever was seen.

Triangular Tom beat down this way, you know, And Triangular Ted stood beside him, just so, When one, two, three--go!

With the greatest gusto, Ted flew over Tom in a manner not slow.

[Illustration] [Illustration] They played hide-and-seek, they played marbles and tag, They played they were soldiers, and each waved a flag;

Till at last they confessed, They wanted to rest;

So they sat down and chatted with laughter and jest;

[Illustration] When Schoolmaster Jones they suddenly spied, Come clumping along with his pedagogue stride, As usual, with manner quite preoccupied;

With his hat on one side, And his shoe-lace untied-- A surly old fellow, it can't be denied;

And each wicked boy Thought that he would enjoy An occasion the thoughtful old man to annoy, And all of his wise calculations destroy.

So they thought they'd employ A means known to each boy.

And across the wide pavement they fastened a twine Exceedingly strong but exceedingly fine;

And Triangular Tommy laughed out in his glee, To think how upset the old master would be!

[Illustration] Although very wicked, their mischievous scheme Was a perfect success; and with a loud scream, A horrible clash, A thump and a smash, Old Schoolmaster Jones came down with a crash.

His hat rolled away, and his spectacles broke, And those dreadful boys thought it a howling good joke.

And they just doubled up in immoderate glee, Saying, "Look at the Schoolmaster!

Tee-hee!

tee-hee!"

[Illustration] [Illustration] Tom gave a guffaw, And Ted roared a "haw-haw";

But soon their diversion was turned into awe, For old Schoolmaster Jones was angry, they saw.

[Illustration] [Illustration] Triangular Ted Turned swiftly and fled, And far down the street like a reindeer he sped, Leaving Tommy to face the old gentleman's rage, Who quickly jumped up,--he was brisk for his age,-- And with just indignation portrayed on his face, To Triangular Tommy he quickly gave chase.

[Illustration] And hearing his squeals And his frantic appeals, Triangular Tommy fast took to his heels.

Now Tommy was agile and Tommy was spry;

He whizzed through the air--he just seemed to fly;

He rushed madly on, until, dreadful to say!

He came where the railroad was just in his way-- And alas!

and alack!

He tripped on the track And then with a terrible, sudden ker-thwack!

Triangular Tommy sprawled flat on his back-- And the train came along with a crash, and a crack, A din, and a clatter, a clang, and a clack, A toot, and a boom, and a roar, and a hiss, And chopped him up all into pieces like this-- If _you_ cut out papers just like them, why, then, If you try, you can put him together again.

[Illustration] A Modern Invention Old Santa Claus is up-to-date, And hereafter, rumors say, He'll come with his pack of glittering toys, And visit the homes of girls and boys, In a new reindeerless sleigh.

[Illustration] An April Joke [Illustration] Oh, it was a merry, gladsome day, When the April Fool met the Queen of May;

She had roguish eyes and golden hair, And they were a mischief-making pair.

They planned the funniest kind of a joke On the poor, long-suffering mortal folk;

And a few mysterious words he said, His fool's cap close to her flower-crowned head.

Then he laughed till he made his cap-bells ring, At the thought of the topsy-turvy Spring.

"'Tis a fair exchange," he said, with a wink-- "It is!"

she said, and what do you think?

The flowers that should bloom in the month of May Every one of them came on an April day!

And they looked for April showers in vain, But all through May it did nothing but rain!

An Alice Alphabet [Illustration] A is for Alice a-dressing the Queen.

[Illustration] B is for Borogoves, mimsy and lean.

[Illustration] C is the Cheshire Cat, wearing a grin.

[Illustration] D is the Duchess who had a sharp chin.

[Illustration] E is the Eaglet who barred out long words.

[Illustration] F, the Flamingo, the queerest of birds.

[Illustration] G is the Gryphon, loquacious and gay.

[Illustration] H, Humpty Dumpty in gorgeous array.

[Illustration] I is for Insects with curious names.

[Illustration] J is the Jabberwock burbling with flames.

[Illustration] K is the King who was whizzed through the air.

[Illustration] L is the Lobster who sugared his hair.

[Illustration] M, the Mock Turtle, whose tears freely flowed.

[Illustration] N is for Nobody seen on the road.

[Illustration] O is for Oysters who trotted so quick.

[Illustration] P is the Puppy who played with a stick.

[Illustration] Q is the Queen who ran very fast.

[Illustration] R is the Rabbit who blew a great blast.

[Illustration] S is the Sheep, on her knitting intent.

[Illustration] T, Tweedledum, with his noisy lament.

[Illustration] U is the Unicorn, valiant in feud.

[Illustration] V is the Violet, saucy and rude.

[Illustration] W, the Walrus, addicted to chat.

[Illustration] X, Executioner, seeking the cat.

[Illustration] Y is the Youth Father William surveyed.

[Illustration] Z is the Zigzag the mouse's tail made.

The Funny Kittens [Illustration] Once there were some silly kittens, And they knitted woolly mittens To bestow upon the freezing Hottentots.

But the Hottentots refused them, Saying that they never used them Unless crocheted of red with yellow spots.

[Illustration] So the silly little kittens Took their blue and white striped mittens To a Bear who lived within a hollow tree;

The Bear responded sadly, "I would wear your mittens gladly, But I fear they are too gay for such as me."

[Illustration] Then the kittens, almost weeping, Came to where a Cow lay sleeping, And they woke her with this piteous request, "Won't you wear our mittens furry?"

Said the Cow, "My dears, don't worry;

I will put them on as soon as I am dressed."

[Illustration] Then the Cow put on her bonnet With a wreath of roses on it, And a beautiful mantilla fringed with white;

And she donned the pretty mittens, While the silly little kittens Clapped their paws in admiration at the sight.

The Strike of the Fireworks 'Twas the night before the Fourth of July, the people slept serene;

The fireworks were stored in the old town hall that stood on the village green.

The steeple clock tolled the midnight hour, and at its final stroke, The fire in the queer old-fashioned stove lifted its voice and spoke;

"The earth and air have naught to do, the water, too, may play, And only fire is made to work on Independence Day.

"I won't stand such injustice!

It's wrong, beyond a doubt, And I shall take my holiday.

Good-by, I'm going out!"

Up spoke a Roman candle then, "The principle is right!

Suppose we strike, and all agree we will not work to-night!"

"My stars!"

said a small sky-rocket.

"What an awful time there'll be, When the whole town comes together to-night, the great display to see!"

"Let them come," said a saucy pinwheel, "yes, let them come if they like, As a delegate I'll announce to them that the fireworks are going to strike!"

"My friends," said a small cap-pistol, "this movement is all wrong,-- Gunpowder, noise, and fireworks to Fourth of July belong.

My great ancestral musket made Independence Day, I frown on your whole conspiracy, and you are wrong, I say!"

And so they talked and they argued, some for and some against,-- And they progressed no further than they were when they commenced.

Until in a burst of eloquence a queer little piece of punk Arose in his place and said, "I think we ought to show some spunk.

And I for one have decided, although I am no shirk, That to-day is a legal holiday and not even fire should work.

"And I am of some importance,"--here he gave a pretentious cough, "For without my assistance none of you could very well be put off."

"You are right," said the Roman candle, "and I think we are all agreed To strike for our rights and our liberty.

Hurrah!

we shall succeed!"

The dissenters cried with one accord, "Our objections we withdraw.

Hurrah, hurrah for the fireworks' strike!"

and they cried again, "Hurrah!"

Then a match piped up with a tiny voice, "Your splendid scheme I like.

I agree with all your principles and so I, too, will strike!"

Suiting the action to the word, the silly little dunce Clambered down from his matchsafe and excitedly struck at once.

He lost his head, and he ran around among the fireworks dry, And he cried, "Hurrah for the fireworks' strike!

Hurrah for the Fourth of July!"

With his waving flame he lit the punk--a firecracker caught a spark,-- Then rockets and wheels and bombs went off--no longer the place was dark!

The explosions made a fearful noise, the flames leaped high and higher, The village folk awoke and cried, "The town hall is on fire!"

So the strike of the fireworks ended in a wonderful display Of pyrotechnic grandeur on Independence Day!

The Arch Armadillo [Illustration] There once was an arch Armadillo Who built him a hut 'neath a willow;

He hadn't a bed So he rested his head On a young Porcupine for a pillow.

A Dream Lesson Once there was a little boy who wouldn't go to bed, When they hinted at the subject he would only shake his head, When they asked him his intentions, he informed them pretty straight That he wouldn't go to bed at all, and Nursey needn't wait.

As their arguments grew stronger, and their attitude more strict, I grieve to say that naughty boy just yelled and screamed and kicked.

And he made up awful faces, and he told them up and down That he wouldn't go to bed for all the nurses in the town.

Then Nursey lost her patience, and although it wasn't right, Retorted that for all she cared he might sit up all night.

He approved of this arrangement, and he danced a jig for joy, And turned a somersault with glee; he _was_ a naughty boy.

And so they all went off to bed and left him sitting there, Right in the corner by the fire in Grandpa's big armchair.

He read his books and played his games,--he even sang a song And thought how lovely it would be to sit up all night long.

[Illustration] But soon his games grew stupid, and his puzzles wouldn't work;

He drew himself up stiffly with a sudden little jerk, And he said, "I am not sleepy, and I love to play alone-- And--I--think--" the rest was mumbled in a drowsy monotone.

He leaned back on the cushions like that night he had the croup;

His head began to wobble and his eyes began to droop;

He closed them for a minute, just to see how it would seem, And straightway he was sound asleep, and dreamed this awful dream!

He thought he saw a garden filled with flowers and roses gay, A great big gardener with a hoe came walking down his way;

"Ah, ha!"

exclaimed the gardener, as he clutched him by the head, "Here's a fine specimen I've found; I'll plant him in this bed!"

[Illustration] He held the boy in one big hand, unheeding how he cried, And with the other dug a hole enormous, deep, and wide.

He jammed the little fellow in, and said in gruffest tone, "This is the bed for naughty boys who won't go to their own."

And then the dirt was shovelled in,--it covered up his toes, His ankles, knees, and waist and arms, and higher yet it rose.

For still the gardener shovelled on, not noticing his cries;

It came up to his chin and mouth--it almost reached his eyes;

Just then he gathered all his strength and gave an awful scream, And woke himself, and put an end to that terrific dream.

And he said, as Nursey tucked him up and bade him snugly rest, "When I am planted in a bed, I like my own the best."

The Rivals [Illustration] Two well-built men, neither giant nor dwarf, Were Monsieur Elims and Mynheer Nworf.

They lived in a town not far away, And spent their time in work and play.

Now Monsieur Elims was loved by all-- By rich and poor, by great and small.

And Mynheer Nworf remarked one day, "Brother, explain to me, I pray, Why no one likes me as well as you, No matter what I may say or do.

I have stores of knowledge packed in my head;

I am learned and wise and very well read;

I can dance, I can sing, I'm extremely polite;

I am worth a large fortune all in my own right.

But still,--and this question has caused me much thought,-- While I am neglected, you're everywhere sought."

Monsieur Elims replied: "My dear sir, that is true, But you see, I am I, and you see, you are you.

If I receive praises and you receive blame, 'Tis doubtless because each lives up to his name."

You'll find his defence rather puzzling, I fear;

But read their names backward--the meaning is clear.

The New Cup "I've a lovely new cup from Uncle John," Said Dorothy; "only see-- It has beautiful golden letters on, And they spell '_Remember Me_.'

" "Oho!"

laughed Fred.

"Why, Dorothy dear, They put that on mugs and plates: _I_'ve studied jography 'most a year, And I know the names of the States.

And when you see that anywhere,-- At least, since this fuss with Spain,-- It's the President who puts it there, And it means 'Remember the Maine'!"

A Photographic Failure [Illustration] Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle Saw a patient Periwinkle With a kodak, sitting idly by a rill.

Feeling a desire awaken For to have his picture taken, Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle stood stock-still.

Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle Felt his brow begin to wrinkle, And his pose assume a sad and solemn style;

But the Periwinkle trusted, As the focus he adjusted, That his customer would kindly try to smile.

Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle Felt his eyes begin to twinkle, And his mouth took on a broad and open grin;

Said the Periwinkle, sadly, "If you stretch your jaw so madly, I fear perhaps that I shall tumble in."

Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle Felt his hair begin to crinkle, As it rose up on his forehead in affright;

Though his comrade spoke so mildly, Mr. Hinkle wondered wildly, How he could escape this dire and awful plight.

Mr. Hezekiah Hinkle Said, "I fear it's going to sprinkle, And really for a storm I'm not prepared."

Then without a further warning He politely said, "Good morning," And the patient Periwinkle stood and stared.