Captain Billy's Whiz Bang, Vol. 3, No. 27, November, 1921 — The Agony Column and Limber Kicks
* * * * * The Agony Column (From London Winning Post.
) _Author, command of scathing English, would write memoirs for any Lady or Gentleman in society wishing to pay off old scores.
_ * * * * * The old-fashioned mother who used to be a clinging vine now has a daughter who has no more clinging qualities than a sapling.
* * * * * Truth at Last During the week of the Fair there occurred an incident which is worth recording.
A big six-foot bully was shooting off his mouth in the rotunda of a hotel, evidently having had a snifter or two, announcing that he could lick anybody in sight.
A quiet little man came from a seat in the corner, and, walking straight up to the giant, called him a four-flusher.
The bully thereupon handed the little man a biff on the jaw, a smash between the eyes and lifted him two feet off the floor with an uppercut.
The little man was carried upstairs and put to bed.
(We apologize for the unhappy ending of this story, realizing that it should have been the other way about.
But truth must prevail in these columns at all costs.
)—Bob Edwards’ Book.
* * * * * This Ain’t So Good “Wait a minute, lady,” said the garage attendant.
“You owe us a dollar and a half—your battery was fixed.
Pay me please.
” “Indeed,” snorted the fair driver, “my husband told me to have it charged!
” * * * * * “The doctor says you may have a little whisky.
He says the dose will be—” “Never mind what he says.
I know all about the dose.
” Limber Kicks Revamped Neckery The other night I met a girl, She was dressed without a speck;
A clean white dress and nice white shoes— But, oh, my Gosh, her neck!
* * * * * Cheer Up!
It’s the songs you sing, And the smiles you wear, That’s making the sunshine Everywhere.
* * * * * “Hurry Now!
” _The tempting curve of your full, sweet lip,_ _Shows you full ripe, and well should you be tasted,_ _Make use of time, let not advantage slip;_ _Beauty within itself should not be wasted:_ _Fair flowers that are not gathered in their prime,_ _Rot and consume themselves in little time.
_ * * * * * The Best Firm By Sherwood.
A pretty good firm is Watch & Waite, And another is Attit, Early & Layte;
And still another is Doo & Dairet;
But the best is probably Grin & Barrett.
Sporty New Orleans BY REV.
“GOLIGHTLY” MORRILL
