Perils of Pauline (dramatic reading) — Chapter 7 - A Flirty Buccaneer
A FLIRTY BUCCANEER
Arrived at Nassua, the party proceeded to the King Edward House, where Pauline found a telegram from Philip Carpenter, the lawyer, advising her to return as soon as possible to attend the signing of certain important papers.
On account of the message all hands made haste to hunt for a small steamer or launch to complete the trip.
Though none of the four saw him, the old man was at the hotel.
He lost no time in assuming another and very different disguise, observing to himself that the most valuable part of his college education might prove to be the secrets of "make up" he had learned in his college dramatic club.
Owen, with his usual forethought, had arranged in advance to be put in touch at once with all available boats.
As a result a gasoline launch, with a cabin and stateroom, about 100 feet long, which had once been a yacht, was chartered.
The "pirate's" stipulation that no stranger should see his island made it necessary for Pauline to deposit a check for ,500 for its safe return.
The next morning provisions were brought aboard, the "pirate" declaring that he could run the engine, and all was ready when a difficulty arose.
Who was to cook?
Pauline volunteered, but Owen objected, and finally the "pirate's" objections to a stranger were overcome.
A dark-skinned half-breed, with long, black hair, who had earned half a dollar by helping carry things on board, volunteered in a gruff voice.
"I'se fine cook.
Best cook on the island.
I cook very cheap."
Time was too valuable to investigate the man's ability, so he was hired.
Off went the white launch.
Owen steering under instructions from the "pirate," who soon proved he knew gasoline engines.
Out of the harbor they went, and then coasted along the beautiful shores of the island.
The sea was calm and the cruise uneventful for some time, when the "pirate" called every one's attention to the fact that it was a long time since breakfast.
He went below and addressed the cook, who had shut himself up in his tiny galley, as sailors call a boat's kitchen.
"What's your name?"
demanded Boyd.
"Filipo."
"Are you a nigger?"
"I guess so; I dunno."
"Well, what were your father and mother?"
"I dunno."
"That's funny; but what I want to know is how soon grub will be ready?"
"Right away, senor."
"All right, Filipo; see that there is plenty of it."
"Dod foul my hawser, if this ain't what yer might call pleasant," declared the "pirate," showing his few teeth in a smile that reminded Pauline of the spiles of an abandoned pier.
Pauline was pacing the deck apart from the others, in a pleasant dreaminess scanning the endless azure of the hashed waters.
Her thoughts roamed forward and backward--forward to the vague magic land of adventure, where she was to win treasure and delight, fortune and fame; backward to a big, lovely, splendid house in New York City, where a certain tall young man, with brown, unruly hair and shoulders broad as a sheltering wall, must be pining for her.
Some one began whistling in the cabin.
Pauline paid no attention to it at first, but as the tune suddenly shifted to the very latest musical comedy air she became interested.
Owen never whistled, and Hicks, she imagined, seldom went to the theatres.
The song shifted from whistle to words: "I'm a greatly wicked person.
If there's anybody worse on This terrestrial circumference of guile (Though I very broadly doubt it) I should like to know about it, For I want to be the blackest thing on file.
"I'm a bad-mad-man, my dear, I'm a liar and a flyer and flirty buccaneer.
I've done everything that's awful that a human being can.
I'm a bad--ma-a-d man."
"The song from 'Polly Peek-a-boo.'
Harry and I heard it only two weeks ago," mused Pauline.
Moved by a sudden whimsy, she entered the cabin.
There was no one there but the cook.
In his dingy linen suit he was standing at the table peeling potatoes and whistling.
He stopped as Pauline entered, a tall powerful man, though of slouching posture, he bowed deferentially.
"No like me sing--no sing," he suggested.
"On the contrary, I like it very much.
You sing very well indeed, Filipo.
Would you mind telling me where you heard the song you were just singing?"
"Big American man, up Nassau--he sing'um.
Very fine man--big fool daughter," replied Filipo.
"You speak very good English when you sing," remarked Pauline.
"Why don't you do it all the time?"
The cook hesitated.
"Speak good English all time--bad English when sing!"
Pauline began to scrutinize half suspiciously this remarkable menial, but he kept stolidly at work at the potatoes, and his dark skin, his scraggly beard, his bagging trousers upturned over bare feet, his general dilapidation of appearance, proved him nothing but one of the common derelicts of the languid islands.
"If you could peel potatoes instead of butchering them, there would be a little more to eat in case we run out of supplies, Filipo," suggested Pauline.
He turned on her a frank American grin.
For an instant the twinkle in the keen blue eyes upset her.
It was so, like the twinkle in a pair of keen blue eyes that were supposed to be figuratively weeping for her fate in far-off New York.
But instantly he changed his attitude.
"No like cook--cook quit," he grumbled.
"'Oh, no, indeed, Filipo, you must not be offended.
I was just speaking to Mr. Owen this morning about raising your salary."
A thick voice came to them from the cabin door.
"I begs to report, Miss," said Blinky Boyd, the pirate, reeling in, "that there be mut'ny in yer crew.
Mr. Hicks and Mr. Owen, Miss, has rebelled against me authority and has refused me drink."
"That is an outrage, Mr. Boyd.
They do not realize how your nerve-racking adventures have shattered your strength.
I will attend to it myself," said Pauline sympathetically.
"Filipo, give Mr. Boyd a drink."
"Drink?
Yes, meem," replied Filipo, with such unwonted alacrity that Pauline turned in surprise.
She saw the slouching figure of the cook suddenly stiffen to his full stalwart height.
She saw an ill clad, but majestic giant stride toward the pirate, bowl him over with a gentle tap, pinion his arms and legs in a lifting grasp and carry him toward the door of the cabin.
Cries of rage came stuffily from the thick throat of Boyd.
"Lemme go, ye scum, lemme go," he yelled.
"Filipo!
Filipo!
Stop this instant!
How dare you treat Mr. Boyd in such a manner?"
cried the indignant girl.
"You say, 'Give--him drink.'
He say, 'Lemme go," answered Filipo, pausing with his squirming burden.
"Drink!
Ye fool, drink!
She is felling ye ter gimme a drink," screamed the hero of desperate encounters.
"Big, fat drink," agreed the cook, as he strode toward the rail.
Pauline rushed upon him.
The peril of her precious pirate stirred all her courage.
She saw her dreams vanishing--the chief narrator, navigator and guide of the treasure voyage suspended in two strong arms over the blue deep.
Forgetting that he was accustomed to conquer twenty men single handed, she felt only pity for his plight.
Her soft but determined hand gripped the cook's. "Filipo, obey my orders!"
she commanded.
"Yes, Mem.
Let 'um go.
Give 'um drink.
Big liar need big drink."
He lifted the struggling but utterly helpless form of the pirate over his shoulders, then, with a sudden stooping movement, he made as if to plunge it into the sea.
"Help!
Help!"
cried Pauline, running up the deck.
Hicks and Owen rushed from their staterooms.
Blinky Boyd was quivering, gasping beside the rail.
They found a slouching, uncommunicative cook stolidly washing dishes in the galley.
Some hours later while Boyd was sleeping off his potations and Hicks and Owen were deep in conference on deck, Pauline slipped down into the galley ostensibly to explain the rudiments of the culinary art to the cook.
"The trouble is you have no respect for a potato, Filipo.
You slash the poor thing to pieces, and then you boil it only long enough to hurt its feelings."
"Peel potato nice, good," he apologized.
"Then peel 'um pirate.
Filipo want to peel pirate; boil him just half-hurt him feelings.
That's how."
"Oh, I see.
But I think you do Mr. Boyd a great injustice, Filipo.
He has consented to come all the way from New York with us and take command of our boat and find the buried treasure, and--" "Buried potatoes," snapped Filipo with a sudden reversion to his unimpaired English.
"Well, at least you understand about tomorrow's breakfast now, don't you?"
"Yes, mem.
Boil 'um eggs to death; no peel 'um."
"No, no, no, Filipo--boil them two minutes and a half.
Here, take my watch and go by that.
You must be very careful of it, Filipo."
"Yes, mem; boil 'um long time; stick fork in, see when soft."
"No!"
Pauline caught the watch from him.
"You don't boil the watch at all, Filipo.
You boil the eggs and watch the watch.
Can you tell time, Filipo?"
"Yes, Mem."
"How long is an hour?
Peel potatoes--hour is ver' ver' long.
Talk to ship's lady--whist!
--hour is no time," answered Filipo with upcast hands.
Again she eyed him through her long lashes a little askance.
He was rather subtle, this half-breed cook, for one who could not even boil an egg.
"I will let you have the watch, Filipo," she said gravely, "but you must give it back to me.
It is one of the most precious things I have.
It was given to me by--Filipo, were you ever in love with a girl?"
"Su-u-ure, mem!"
replied the cook with sudden enthusiasm.
"Love daughter big American--no love me.
Big American daughter start from Nassau--get buried treasure--not!"
"Filipo, where do you get all your New York slang?"
"Big American daughter, she sling slang-good," said Filipo.
"Why did you fall in love with her?"
"Nice girl--no eat much, no scold cook, no talk about potatoes-- just big fool 'bout buried treasure."
"What do you think love is?"
"Love-huh!"
grunted the cook.
"I like girl; girl no like me.
Chase all 'round world--no good."
"That watch was given to me by the man I love, Filipo," said Pauline.
"You won't-boil it--or anything, will you?"
As Filipo took the tiny diamond-scarred timepiece from Pauline's hand there was a sound as of some one choking at the top of the steps.
The cook sprang to the deck, but there was no one in sight.
He returned to Pauline, while Blinky Boyd, gasping more from astonishment than fear, reeled up to Owen and Hicks on the forward deck.
"She's gone clean crazy," he panted.
"She treats that there cook as if he was a nat'ral human man instid of a sea-rovin' gorilla, worse'n the one I beat In Afriky."
"No more gorillas for a while, Blinky," commanded Hicks.
"What's happened now?"
"She's gone an' guv him her jooled watch to boil eggs by," said the pirate.
"By George, we will have to do something with that fellow," muttered Hicks to Owen as they walked away.
"Do suthin' to him!"
Blinky Boyd was fuming in the wake of Owen and Hicks on their stroll up deck.
"Do everythin' to him; make 'im walk the old board; draw'n quarter 'im.
Didn't he attempt me life an' ain't he at present engaged in stealin' the fambly jewels?"
"Well, have you got any ideas?"
asked Owen.
"The first thing," whispered Blinky, "is to git him under the in-floo-ence of licker.
They never was no cook could stand up agin' the disgraceful habit o' takin' too much and doin' too little.
Get 'im under the in-floo-ence."
"And then what?"
"Then--well, ain't they a lot o' good blue water floatin' around atop the fishes?
Ain't they some accommodatin' sharks swimmin' atop the water?"
"That's a bit crude--just to throw a man overboard for nothing," said Owen, willing to arouse Boyd's anger.
"Fer nothin'?
Didn't he insult the master o' this ship.
Ain't he tried to starve us to death?
Fer wot kind o' nothin', says I." Boyd smote his caving chest in emphasis of his accusations.
"And he would have the diamond watch on him in case he should be picked up," suggested Hicks quietly.
"That's so," said Owen.
"He would have been swimming to shore with the stolen watch and drowned."
"But, of course, he would swim to shore, unless--well, it's a case of making sure beforehand.
We could persuade him to go in and try to kill Blinky here while Blinky's asleep--then rush in and finish him.
Even Pauline was a witness to the attack he made on Blinky this afternoon."
The pirate's glowing countenance suddenly, went white.
"Not this trip," he said fervently.
"I ain't goin' to kill no man in a trap like that.
I'm goin' to see it done fair and square in the open --with plenty o' drink in 'im an' 'is conscience clear.
I wouldn't see no man die with murder in 'is heart fer me."
"I don't like it," said Owen nervously.
"I don't like the idea of doing too much.
We've got one big piece of work to do that concerns her."
He nodded in the direction of the cabin.
"Dye mean to say we can't get a poor half-breed cook off this boat without killing him?
Why not discharge him?"
Hicks uttered a grim chuckle.
"I must say I never thought of that.
Get a boat manned, will you, Boyd, and we'll put him ashore within half an hour."
"All hands for'ard," bellowed the pirate's voice.
The "all hands" were Owen, Hicks, the pirate and Pauline.
"Why all hands?
Can't you handle the cook yourself?"
said Owen.
"Not to put that cook ashore--ye need a navy," said Boyd.
Backed by Owen and Hicks, he moved to the cabin.
"You, cook, there--ye're fired.
Get off the boat.
Yer kerriage waits," he cried down at the busy Filipo.
Filipo shuffled almost meekly toward the speaker.
He saw the skiff alongside and Hicks and Owen nearby.
"Grab 'im," ordered the pirate.
"Here's the irons."
He produced a pair of rusty handcuffs that had been brought along, among other ominous-looking junk, to impress Pauline.
But Filipo was not "fired" yet.
With a sudden long-distance lunge he knocked down the pirate, who, thought he was at a safe distance.
But Hicks, who had been well schooled in street-fight tactics, thoughtfully stuck out a leg and tripped the cook, who fell upon the groaning Boyd.
Boyd, though down, was by no means "out," and held Filipo tight while Owen and Hicks slipped on the handcuffs.
"Now to the boat with 'im an' dump 'im ashore wherever It looks hottest an' hungriest."
"Yah," he snarled in the face of the prostrate cook, "ye don't interfere no more with the capting of this here vessel.
I hopes ye--" But his sentence was cut short, or rather it ended in a shriek of pain and fright, as the cook, suddenly swinging himself from his shoulders, landed a terrifically propelled right foot in the pirate's middle.
He was pinned down again the next moment, but Boyd's yell had penetrated to the cabin.
"What is the matter--who is hurt?"
cried Pauline, rushing to the group on deck.
"We have had to order this fellow put ashore.
He has twice attacked Boyd, and besides he is useless as a cook," explained Owen.
"You will assuredly do nothing of the sort," announced Pauline.
"You will take those horrid iron things right off and set him free."
"But, my dear Miss Marvin, he is a desperate man.
It is dangerous."
"What did we come here for but to get into danger?"
cried Pauline.
"Besides, Filipo is the most interesting person on the ship.
I have just devoted a chapter to him in my book, and if you think I'm going to spoil my book because Mr. Boyd gets hurt, or the potatoes aren't done, you're much mistaken."
Owen obediently knelt and unlocked the clumsy handcuffs.
"You are free, Filipo," said Pauline with the air of a proud princess releasing a serf.
"No fired?"
grunted Filipo.
"Too bad.
Bum job."
"Now go back to the kitchen, and promise not to strike Mr. Boyd any more."
"No hit 'um.
Boil 'um.
Three minutes; stick fork in hum," said the cook with a cannibal glare at the still writhing pirate.
He shuffled off to his pots and pans.
Blinky scrambled to his bunk, and Pauline retired to elaborate the fascinating character of Filipo in another chapter of her book of adventure.
She did not realize how late it was when at last she put down her pen and moved with soft, slippered steps to the door of the cabin.
Over the great vault of the heavens the stars were sprinkled like silver dust.
The boat rolled softly, dreamily on the listless waters.
A cool breeze scented with the fragrance of the spicy land cooled her brow.
She realized that her little stateroom had been very stuffy.
It was beautiful here in the hushed night alone.
She moved out on deck.
They had come to anchor for the night off St. Andrew, and the few faint lights of the town tinged the scene with life.
Pauline was thinking of Harry.
It would have been nice if he were here now, in the moonlight just for this evening.
Of course if he were a regular member of the party, he would spoil the trip by his grumpiness, and probably prevent them from finding any treasure at all.
But Harry was a good companion--usually, and Pauline was getting a little tired of the company on the yacht.
The night was so still that even her light footstep could be heard on the deck.
And she was surprised to hear a muffled hail from some invisible craft astern.
As she moved to the rail--her tall form in the yachting suit standing out plainly in the moonlight--she saw a small boat scurry away.
She thought she recognized their own small boat--the one the yacht towed --and she quickly made sure that this was true.
Pauline turned toward the cabin to rouse the others for a real pirate chase, when she was silenced and stunned by the sight of Filipo, the cook, staggering out of the galley, with his bearded chin drooping on his breast, his knees swaying under him, his arms weaving cubist caricatures in the air and his voice raised in unintelligible song.
He was quickly followed by the Pirate, who, to Pauline's amazement, actually presented a picture of sobriety in contrast to Filipo.
But on seeing her, Boyd looked frightened.
"They have stolen the skiff," cried Pauline.
"No, Miss," said Boyd; "they was four of 'em come aboard in one boat, an' we let 'em take ourn ashore to bring a double load o' supplies."
Pauline was grievously disappointed.
She turned her wrath upon the musical and meandering Filipo.
"Filipo!"
she demanded.
"Go to bed at once."
For answer he reeled toward her.
"Cook boiled--boiled three minute," he said.
Then with a lurch he fell sprawling at her feet.
Boyd had started back to the cabin in haste and excitement.
Pauline's first instinct was to leave the inebriated man, but pity mastered her and she stooped to lift him.
He sprang to his feet without her aid.
His blue eyes looked clearly into hers.
His body towered again to its commanding height as it had done when he was about to finish the Pirate.
He stooped and spoke rapidly, sharply in her ear.
There was no pigeon chatter.
It was straight English.
But as the door of the cabin opened again and Boyd came out, the tall form sank into itself, the knees began to rock, the arms to weave and, staggering back up the deck, he disappeared in the cabin.
Pauline stood stupefied.
She had been so startled by the sudden transformation of the man that she had hardly understood his strident words.
Only one thing she could remember.
He had commanded her to go to bed and bar her door.
She obeyed but she could not sleep at first.
It seemed that hours had passed when a sound outside her door brought her to her feet.
She moved to the door and softly opened it.
Across the threshold lay Filipo, wide awake.
"Go to bed," he said.
Again she obeyed and this time she slept.
The next morning everything seemed outwardly as usual, the skiff had been restored to its place astern.
The Pirate was intoxicated; the cook sober.
But there was the threat of trouble in the air, Pauline felt it in the attitude of all the men, even of Owen and Hicks.
The Pirate showed a strange new tendency to make friends with Filipo.
