Life of Samuel Johnson, Vol. II — 1769 part 2

'The ballad of Hardyknute[275] has no great merit, if it be really ancient.

People talk of nature.

But mere obvious nature may be exhibited with very little power of mind.'

On Thursday, October 19, I passed the evening with him at his house.

He advised me to complete a Dictionary of words peculiar to Scotland, of which I shewed him a specimen.

'Sir, (said he,) Ray has made a collection of north-country words[276].

By collecting those of your country, you will do a useful thing towards the history of the language.'

He bade me also go on with collections which I was making upon the antiquities of Scotland.

'Make a large book; a folio.'

BOSWELL.

'But of what use will it be, Sir?'

JOHNSON.

'Never mind the use; do it.'

I complained that he had not mentioned Garrick in his Preface to Shakspeare[277]; and asked him if he did not admire him.

JOHNSON.

'Yes, as "a poor player, who frets and struts his hour upon the stage;"--as a shadow[278].'

BOSWELL, 'But has he not brought Shakspeare into notice?'

[279] JOHNSON.

'Sir, to allow that, would be to lampoon the age.

Many of Shakspeare's plays are the worse for being acted: _Macbeth_, for instance[280].'

BOSWELL.

'What, Sir, is nothing gained by decoration and action?

Indeed, I do wish that you had mentioned Garrick.'

JOHNSON.

'My dear Sir, had I mentioned him, I must have mentioned many more: Mrs. Pritchard, Mrs. Cibber,--nay, and Mr. Cibber too; he too altered Shakspeare.'

BOSWELL.

'You have read his apology, Sir?'

JOHNSON.

'Yes, it is very entertaining.

But as for Cibber himself, taking from his conversation all that he ought not to have said[281], he was a poor creature.

I remember when he brought me one of his Odes to have my opinion of it[282]; I could not bear such nonsense, and would not let him read it to the end; so little respect had I for _that great man_!

(laughing.

) Yet I remember Richardson wondering that I could treat him with familiarity[283].'

I mentioned to him that I had seen the execution of several convicts at Tyburn[284], two days before, and that none of them seemed to be under any concern.

JOHNSON.

'Most of them, Sir, have never thought at all.'

BOSWELL.

'But is not the fear of death natural to man?'

JOHNSON.

'So much so, Sir, that the whole of life is but keeping away the thoughts of it[285].'

He then, in a low and earnest tone, talked of his meditating upon the aweful hour of his own dissolution, and in what manner he should conduct himself upon that occasion: 'I know not (said he,) whether I should wish to have a friend by me, or have it all between GOD and myself.'

Talking of our feeling for the distresses of others;--JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, there is much noise made about it, but it is greatly exaggerated.

No, Sir, we have a certain degree of feeling to prompt us to do good: more than that, Providence does not intend.

It would be misery to no purpose[286].'

BOSWELL.

'But suppose now, Sir, that one of your intimate friends were apprehended for an offence for which he might be hanged.'

JOHNSON.

'I should do what I could to bail him, and give him any other assistance; but if he were once fairly hanged, I should not suffer.'

BOSWELL.

'Would you eat your dinner that day, Sir?'

JOHNSON.

'Yes, Sir;

and eat it as if he were eating it with me.

Why, there's Baretti, who is to be tried for his life to-morrow, friends have risen up for him on every side; yet if he should be hanged, none of them will eat a slice of plumb-pudding the less.

Sir, that sympathetic feeling goes a very little way in depressing the mind[287].'

I told him that I had dined lately at Foote's, who shewed me a letter which he had received from Tom Davies, telling him that he had not been able to sleep from the concern which he felt on account of '_This sad affair of Baretti_[288],' begging of him to try if he could suggest any thing that might be of service; and, at the same time, recommending to him an industrious young man who kept a pickle-shop.

JOHNSON.

'Ay, Sir, here you have a specimen of human sympathy; a friend hanged, and a cucumber pickled.

We know not whether Baretti or the pickle-man has kept Davies from sleep; nor does he know himself.

And as to his not sleeping, Sir; Tom Davies is a very great man; Tom has been upon the stage, and knows how to do those things.

I have not been upon the stage, and cannot do those things.'

BOSWELL.

'I have often blamed myself, Sir, for not feeling for others as sensibly as many say they do.'

JOHNSON.

'Sir, don't be duped by them any more.

You will find these very feeling people are not very ready to do you good.

They _pay_ you by _feeling_.'

BOSWELL.

'Foote has a great deal of humour?'

JOHNSON.

'Yes, Sir.'

BOSWELL.

'He has a singular talent of exhibiting character.'

JOHNSON.

'Sir, it is not a talent; it is a vice; it is what others abstain from.

It is not comedy, which exhibits the character of a species, as that of a miser gathered from many misers: it is farce, which exhibits individuals.'

BOSWELL.

'Did not he think of exhibiting you, Sir?'

JOHNSON.

'Sir, fear restrained him; he knew I would have broken his bones.

I would have saved him the trouble of cutting off a leg; I would not have left him a leg to cut off[289].'

BOSWELL.

'Pray, Sir, is not Foote an infidel?'

JOHNSON.

'I do not know, Sir, that the fellow is an infidel; but if he be an infidel, he is an infidel as a dog is an infidel; that is to say, he has never thought upon the subject[290].'

BOSWELL.

'I suppose, Sir, he has thought superficially, and seized the first notions which occurred to his mind.'

JOHNSON.

'Why then, Sir, still he is like a dog, that snatches the piece next him.

Did you never observe that dogs have not the power of comparing?

A dog will take a small bit of meat as readily as a large, when both are before him.'

'Buchanan (he observed,) has fewer _centos_[291] than any modern Latin poet.

He not only had great knowledge of the Latin language, but was a great poetical genius.

Both the Scaligers praise him.'

He again talked of the passage in _Congreve_ with high commendation, and said, 'Shakspeare never has six lines together without a fault.

Perhaps you may find seven, but this does not refute my general assertion.

If I come to an orchard, and say there's no fruit here, and then comes a poring man, who finds two apples and three pears, and tells me, "Sir, you are mistaken, I have found both apples and pears," I should laugh at him: what would that be to the purpose?'

BOSWELL.

'What do you think of Dr. Young's _Night Thoughts_, Sir?'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, there are very fine things in them[292].'

BOSWELL.

'Is there not less religion in the nation now, Sir, than there was formerly?'

JOHNSON.

'I don't know, Sir, that there is.'

BOSWELL.

'For instance, there used to be a chaplain in every great family[293], which we do not find now.'

JOHNSON.

'Neither do you find any of the state servants which great families used formerly to have.

There is a change of modes in the whole department of life.'

Next day, October 20, he appeared, for the only time I suppose in his life, as a witness in a Court of Justice, being called to give evidence to the character of Mr. Baretti, who having stabbed a man in the street, was arraigned at the Old Bailey for murder[294].

Never did such a constellation of genius enlighten the aweful Sessions-House, emphatically called JUSTICE HALL; Mr. Burke, Mr. Garrick, Mr. Beauclerk, and Dr. Johnson; and undoubtedly their favourable testimony had due weight with the Court and Jury.

Johnson gave his evidence in a slow, deliberate, and distinct manner, which was uncommonly impressive.

It is well known that Mr. Baretti was acquitted.

On the 26th of October, we dined together at the Mitre tavern.

I found fault with Foote for indulging his talent of ridicule at the expence of his visitors, which I colloquially termed making fools of his company.

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, when you go to see Foote, you do not go to see a saint: you go to see a man who will be entertained at your house, and then bring you on a publick stage; who will entertain you at his house, for the very purpose of bringing you on a publick stage.

Sir, he does not make fools of his company; they whom he exposes are fools already: he only brings them into action.'

Talking of trade, he observed, 'It is a mistaken notion that a vast deal of money is brought into a nation by trade.

It is not so.

Commodities come from commodities; but trade produces no capital accession of wealth.

However, though there should be little profit in money, there is a considerable profit in pleasure, as it gives to one nation the productions of another; as we have wines and fruits, and many other foreign articles, brought to us.'

BOSWELL.

'Yes, Sir, and there is a profit in pleasure, by its furnishing occupation to such numbers of mankind.'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, you cannot call that pleasure to which all are averse, and which none begin but with the hope of leaving off; a thing which men dislike before they have tried it, and when they have tried it.'

BOSWELL.

'But, Sir, the mind must be employed, and we grow weary when idle.'

JOHNSON.

'That is, Sir, because, others being busy, we want company; but if we were all idle, there would be no growing weary;

we should all entertain one another.

There is, indeed, this in trade:--it gives men an opportunity of improving their situation.

If there were no trade, many who are poor would always remain poor.

But no man loves labour for itself.'

BOSWELL.

'Yes, Sir, I know a person who does.

He is a very laborious Judge, and he loves the labour[295].'

JOHNSON.

'Sir, that is because he loves respect and distinction.

Could he have them without labour, he would like it less.'

BOSWELL.

'He tells me he likes it for itself.'

--'Why, Sir, he fancies so, because he is not accustomed to abstract.'

We went home to his house to tea.

Mrs. Williams made it with sufficient dexterity, notwithstanding her blindness, though her manner of satisfying herself that the cups were full enough appeared to me a little aukward; for I fancied she put her finger down a certain way, till she felt the tea touch it[296].

In my first elation at being allowed the privilege of attending Dr. Johnson at his late visits to this lady, which was like being _A" secretioribus consiliis_[297], I willingly drank cup after cup, as if it had been the Heliconian spring.

But as the charm of novelty went off, I grew more fastidious; and besides, I discovered that she was of a peevish temper[298].

There was a pretty large circle this evening.

Dr. Johnson was in very good humour, lively, and ready to talk upon all subjects.

Mr. Fergusson, the self-taught philosopher, told him of a new-invented machine which went without horses: a man who sat in it turned a handle, which worked a spring that drove it forward.

'Then, Sir, (said Johnson,) what is gained is, the man has his choice whether he will move himself alone, or himself and the machine too.'

Dominicetti[299] being mentioned, he would not allow him any merit.

'There is nothing in all this boasted system.

No, Sir; medicated baths can be no better than warm water: their only effect can be that of tepid moisture.'

One of the company took the other side, maintaining that medicines of various sorts, and some too of most powerful effect, are introduced into the human frame by the medium of the pores; and, therefore, when warm water is impregnated with salutiferous substances, it may produce great effects as a bath.

This appeared to me very satisfactory.

Johnson did not answer it; but talking for victory, and determined to be master of the field, he had recourse to the device which Goldsmith imputed to him in the witty words of one of Cibber's comedies: 'There is no arguing with Johnson; for when his pistol misses fire, he knocks you down with the butt end of it[300].'

He turned to the gentleman, 'Well, Sir, go to Dominicetti, and get thyself fumigated; but be sure that the steam be directed to thy _head_, for _that_ is the _peccant part_'.

This produced a triumphant roar of laughter from the motley assembly of philosophers, printers, and dependents, male and female.

I know not how so whimsical a thought came into my mind, but I asked, 'If, Sir, you were shut up in a castle, and a newborn child with you, what would you do?'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, I should not much like my company.'

BOSWELL.

'But would you take the trouble of rearing it?'

He seemed, as may well be supposed, unwilling to pursue the subject: but upon my persevering in my question, replied, 'Why yes, Sir, I would; but I must have all conveniencies.

If I had no garden, I would make a shed on the roof, and take it there for fresh air.

I should feed it, and wash it much, and with warm water to please it, not with cold water to give it pain.'

BOSWELL.

'But, Sir, does not heat relax?'

JOHNSON.

'Sir, you are not to imagine the water is to be very hot.

I would not _coddle_ the child.

No, Sir, the hardy method of treating children does no good.

I'll take you five children from London, who shall cuff five Highland children.

Sir, a man bred in London will carry a burthen, or run, or wrestle, as well as a man brought up in the hardiest manner in the country.'

BOSWELL.

'Good living, I suppose, makes the Londoners strong.'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, I don't know that it does.

Our Chairmen from Ireland, who are as strong men as any, have been brought up upon potatoes.

Quantity makes up for quality.'

BOSWELL.

'Would you teach this child that I have furnished you with, any thing?'

JOHNSON.

'No, I should not be apt to teach it.'

BOSWELL.

'Would not you have a pleasure in teaching it?'

JOHNSON.

'No, Sir, I should _not_ have a pleasure in teaching it.'

BOSWELL.

'Have you not a pleasure in teaching men?

--_There_ I have you.

You have the same pleasure in teaching men, that I should have in teaching children.'

JOHNSON.

'Why, something about that.'

BOSWELL.

'Do you think, Sir, that what is called natural affection is born with us?

It seems to me to be the effect of habit, or of gratitude for kindness.

No child has it for a parent whom it has not seen.'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, I think there is an instinctive natural affection in parents towards their children.'

Russia being mentioned as likely to become a great empire, by the rapid increase of population:--JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, I see no prospect of their propagating more.

They can have no more children than they can get.

I

know of no way to make them breed more than they do.

It is not from reason and prudence that people marry, but from inclination.

A man is poor; he thinks, "I cannot be worse, and so I'll e'en take Peggy."

' BOSWELL.

'But have not nations been more populous at one period than another?'

JOHNSON.

'Yes, Sir; but that has been owing to the people being less thinned at one period than another, whether by emigrations, war, or pestilence, not by their being more or less prolifick.

Births at all times bear the same proportion to the same number of people.'

BOSWELL.

'But, to consider the state of our own country;--does not throwing a number of farms into one hand hurt population?'

JOHNSON.

'Why no, Sir; the same quantity of food being produced, will be consumed by the same number of mouths, though the people may be disposed of in different ways.

We see, if corn be dear, and butchers' meat cheap, the farmers all apply themselves to the raising of corn, till it becomes plentiful and cheap, and then butchers' meat becomes dear; so that an equality is always preserved.

No, Sir, let fanciful men do as they will, depend upon it, it is difficult to disturb the system of life.'

BOSWELL.

'But, Sir, is it not a very bad thing for landlords to oppress their tenants, by raising their rents?'

JOHNSON.

'Very bad.

But, Sir, it never can have any general influence; it may distress some individuals.

For, consider this: landlords cannot do without tenants.

Now tenants will not give more for land, than land is worth.

If they can make more of their money by keeping a shop, or any other way, they'll do it, and so oblige landlords to let land come back to a reasonable rent, in order that they may get tenants.

Land, in England, is an article of commerce.

A tenant who pays his landlord his rent, thinks himself no more obliged to him than you think yourself obliged to a man in whose shop you buy a piece of goods.

He knows the landlord does not let him have his land for less than he can get from others, in the same manner as the shopkeeper sells his goods.

No shopkeeper sells a yard of ribband for sixpence when seven-pence is the current price.'

BOSWELL.

'But, Sir, is it not better that tenants should be dependant on landlords?'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, as there are many more tenants than landlords, perhaps, strictly speaking, we should wish not.

But if you please you may let your lands cheap, and so get the value, part in money and part in homage.

I should agree with you in that.'

BOSWELL.

'So, Sir, you laugh at schemes of political improvement.'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, most schemes of political improvement are very laughable things.'

He observed, 'Providence has wisely ordered that the more numerous men are, the more difficult it is for them to agree in any thing, and so they are governed.

There is no doubt, that if the poor should reason, "We'll be the poor no longer, we'll make the rich take their turn," they could easily do it, were it not that they can't agree.

So the common soldiers, though so much more numerous than their officers, are governed by them for the same reason.'

He said, 'Mankind have a strong attachment to the habitations to which they have been accustomed.

You see the inhabitants of Norway do not with one consent quit it, and go to some part of America, where there is a mild climate, and where they may have the same produce from land, with the tenth part of the labour.

No, Sir; their affection for their old dwellings, and the terrour of a general change, keep them at home.

Thus, we see many of the finest spots in the world thinly inhabited, and many rugged spots well inhabited.'

_The London Chronicle_[301], which was the only news-paper he constantly took in, being brought, the office of reading it aloud was assigned to me.

I was diverted by his impatience.

He made me pass over so many parts of it, that my task was very easy.

He would not suffer one of the petitions to the King about the Middlesex election to be read[302].

I had hired a Bohemian as my servant[303] while I remained in London, and being much pleased with him, I asked Dr. Johnson whether his being a Roman Catholick should prevent my taking him with me to Scotland.

JOHNSON.

'Why no, Sir, if _he_ has no objection, you can have none.'

BOSWELL.

'So, Sir, you are no great enemy to the Roman Catholick religion.'

JOHNSON.

'No more, Sir, than to the Presbyterian religion.'

BOSWELL.

'You are joking.'

JOHNSON.

'No, Sir, I really think so.

Nay, Sir, of the two, I prefer the Popish[304].'

BOSWELL.

'How so, Sir?'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, the Presbyterians have no church, no apostolical ordination.'

BOSWELL.

'And do you think that absolutely essential, Sir?'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, as it was an apostolical institution, I think it is dangerous to be without it.

And, Sir, the Presbyterians have no public worship: they have no form of prayer in which they know they are to join.

They go to hear a man pray, and are to judge whether they will join with him.'

BOSWELL.

'But, Sir, their doctrine is the same with that of the Church of England.

Their confession of faith, and the thirty-nine articles, contain the same points, even the doctrine of predestination.'

JOHNSON.

'Why yes, Sir, predestination was a part of the clamour of the times, so it is mentioned in our articles, but with as little positiveness as could be.'

BOSWELL.

'Is it necessary, Sir, to believe all the thirty-nine articles?'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, that is a question which has been much agitated.

Some have thought it necessary that they should all be believed; others have considered them to be only articles of peace, that is to say, you are not to preach against them[305].'

BOSWELL.

'It appears to me, Sir, that predestination, or what is equivalent to it, cannot be avoided, if we hold an universal prescience in the Deity.'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, does not GOD every day see things going on without preventing them?'

BOSWELL.

'True, Sir; but if a thing be _certainly_ foreseen, it must be fixed, and cannot happen otherwise;

and if we apply this consideration to the human mind, there is no free will, nor do I see how prayer can be of any avail.'

He mentioned Dr. Clarke, and Bishop Bramhall on _Liberty and Necessity_, and bid me read South's _Sermons on Prayer_; but avoided the question which has excruciated philosophers and divines, beyond any other.

I did not press it further, when I perceived that he was displeased[306], and shrunk from any abridgement of an attribute usually ascribed to the Divinity, however irreconcilable in its full extent with the grand system of moral government.

His supposed orthodoxy here cramped the vigorous powers of his understanding.

He was confined by a chain which early imagination and long habit made him think massy and strong, but which, had he ventured to try, he could at once have snapt asunder.

I proceeded: 'What do you think, Sir, of Purgatory[307], as believed by the Roman Catholicks?'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, it is a very harmless doctrine.