Sonnets from the Portuguese (version 2) — 3 - Chapters 21-30
XXI
Say over again, and yet once over again, That thou dost love me.
Though the word repeated Should seem a “cuckoo-song,” as thou dost treat it, Remember, never to the hill or plain, Valley and wood, without her cuckoo-strain Comes the fresh Spring in all her green completed.
Belovëd, I, amid the darkness greeted By a doubtful spirit-voice, in that doubt’s pain Cry, “Speak once more—thou lovest!
” Who can fear Too many stars, though each in heaven shall roll, Too many flowers, though each shall crown the year?
Say thou dost love me, love me, love me—toll The silver iterance!
—only minding, Dear, To love me also in silence with thy soul.
XXII
When our two souls stand up erect and strong, Face to face, silent, drawing nigh and nigher, Until the lengthening wings break into fire At either curvëd point,—what bitter wrong Can the earth do to us, that we should not long Be here contented?
Think!
In mounting higher, The angels would press on us and aspire To drop some golden orb of perfect song Into our deep, dear silence.
Let us stay Rather on earth, Belovëd,—where the unfit Contrarious moods of men recoil away And isolate pure spirits, and permit A place to stand and love in for a day, With darkness and the death-hour rounding it.
XXIII
Is it indeed so?
If I lay here dead, Wouldst thou miss any life in losing mine?
And would the sun for thee more coldly shine Because of grave-damps falling round my head?
I marvelled, my Belovëd, when I read Thy thought so in the letter.
I am thine— But .
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so much to thee?
Can I pour thy wine While my hands tremble?
Then my soul, instead Of dreams of death, resumes life’s lower range.
Then, love me, Love!
look on me—breathe on me!
As brighter ladies do not count it strange, For love, to give up acres and degree, I yield the grave for thy sake, and exchange My near sweet view of heaven, for earth with thee!
XXIV
Let the world’s sharpness like a clasping knife Shut in upon itself and do no harm In this close hand of Love, now soft and warm, And let us hear no sound of human strife After the click of the shutting.
Life to life— I lean upon thee, Dear, without alarm, And feel as safe as guarded by a charm Against the stab of worldlings, who if rife Are weak to injure.
Very whitely still The lilies of our lives may reassure Their blossoms from their roots, accessible Alone to heavenly dews that drop not fewer;
Growing straight, out of man’s reach, on the hill.
God only, who made us rich, can make us poor.
XXV
A heavy heart, Belovëd, have I borne From year to year until I saw thy face, And sorrow after sorrow took the place Of all those natural joys as lightly worn As the stringed pearls, each lifted in its turn By a beating heart at dance-time.
Hopes apace Were changed to long despairs, till God’s own grace Could scarcely lift above the world forlorn My heavy heart.
Then thou didst bid me bring And let it drop adown thy calmly great Deep being!
Fast it sinketh, as a thing Which its own nature does precipitate, While thine doth close above it, mediating Betwixt the stars and the unaccomplished fate.
XXVI
I lived with visions for my company Instead of men and women, years ago, And found them gentle mates, nor thought to know A sweeter music than they played to me.
But soon their trailing purple was not free Of this world’s dust, their lutes did silent grow, And I myself grew faint and blind below Their vanishing eyes.
Then thou didst come—to be, Belovëd, what they seemed.
Their shining fronts, Their songs, their splendours, (better, yet the same, As river-water hallowed into fonts) Met in thee, and from out thee overcame My soul with satisfaction of all wants: Because God’s gifts put man’s best dreams to shame.
XXVII
My own Belovëd, who hast lifted me From this drear flat of earth where I was thrown, And, in betwixt the languid ringlets, blown A life-breath, till the forehead hopefully Shines out again, as all the angels see, Before thy saving kiss!
My own, my own, Who camest to me when the world was gone, And I who looked for only God, found thee!
I find thee; I am safe, and strong, and glad.
As one who stands in dewless asphodel, Looks backward on the tedious time he had In the upper life,—so I, with bosom-swell, Make witness, here, between the good and bad, That Love, as strong as Death, retrieves as well.
XXVIII
My letters!
all dead paper, mute and white!
And yet they seem alive and quivering Against my tremulous hands which loose the string And let them drop down on my knee to-night.
This said,—he wished to have me in his sight Once, as a friend: this fixed a day in spring To come and touch my hand .
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a simple thing, Yet I wept for it!
—this, .
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the paper’s light .
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Said, Dear I love thee; and I sank and quailed As if God’s future thundered on my past.
This said, I am thine—and so its ink has paled With lying at my heart that beat too fast.
And this .
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O Love, thy words have ill availed If, what this said, I dared repeat at last!
XXIX
I think of thee!
—my thoughts do twine and bud About thee, as wild vines, about a tree, Put out broad leaves, and soon there’s nought to see Except the straggling green which hides the wood.
Yet, O my palm-tree, be it understood I will not have my thoughts instead of thee Who art dearer, better!
Rather, instantly Renew thy presence; as a strong tree should, Rustle thy boughs and set thy trunk all bare, And let these bands of greenery which insphere thee, Drop heavily down,—burst, shattered everywhere!
Because, in this deep joy to see and hear thee And breathe within thy shadow a new air, I do not think of thee—I am too near thee.
XXX
I see thine image through my tears to-night, And yet to-day I saw thee smiling.
How Refer the cause?
—Belovëd, is it thou Or I, who makes me sad?
The acolyte Amid the chanted joy and thankful rite May so fall flat, with pale insensate brow, On the altar-stair.
I hear thy voice and vow, Perplexed, uncertain, since thou art out of sight, As he, in his swooning ears, the choir’s amen.
Belovëd, dost thou love?
or did I see all The glory as I dreamed, and fainted when Too vehement light dilated my ideal, For my soul’s eyes?
Will that light come again, As now these tears come—falling hot and real?