Laugh and Live — Chapters 16 through 20

FAILURE TO SEIZE OPPORTUNITIES

There is an old saying to the effect that "opportunity knocks but once at our door"--and that is all _fol de rol_.

Opportunity knocks at some people's doors nearly every day of their lives and is given a royal welcome.

That's what Opportunity likes--_appreciation_.

It goes often to the home where the latchstring hangs on the outside.

It's like a sign reading "Hot coffee at all hours, day or night"--very inviting.

Very much different, however, from the abode whose windows shed no light and whose door _is barred from within_.

"Nobody Home!"

that's the sign for this door.

Mister Numbskull lives here and most of the time _he sleeps_.

When anyone knocks on his door he pulls the covers up over his head to shut out the noise.

He's down on his luck anyhow, therefore it would be a waste of good shoe leather for him to be up and puttering around.

If Opportunity ever knocked at his door he could say in all truth that _he never heard it_.

He had often heard of Opportunity being in the neighborhood, but one thing is certain--_someone else had invariably seen him first_.

He felt sure he would know Opportunity if ever he met him face to face, and if ever he did he would have it out with him then and there.

Meanwhile--dadgast the luck!

--always the fates pursued him with some sort of hoodoo.

And his neighbors--well, some of them had sense enough to keep their distance and let him alone.

Others, however, had not been considerate of the fact that a "Jinx" was on his trail, and were given to making sarcastic remarks concerning him.

And thus it was that Mister Numbskull spent his days, dodging his neighbors, sidestepping the highways and obscuring himself from the very individual he wanted so much to behold--_Opportunity_.

At last there came a time when, in despair, _and in disrepute_, he took to the woods and is yet to be heard from.

Opportunity still visits the neighborhood, but the path leading to Mister Numbskull's home is grown up in weeds.

The fact is that our real opportunity _knocks from within_.

Through experience, built upon consecutively by continuous effort, our vision expands and pounds its way out through the portals of our brain.

We see the thing that we ought to do and _we go to it_!

To the man who didn't see it _the opportunity did not exist_.

"What we don't know doesn't hurt us any"--so runs the old saw.

And here's a case where we who didn't see, _were_ hurt, but we didn't know it.

For those of us who have vision there are all sorts of opportunities, but many of them are not good for us.

The ones we make for ourselves are the healthy ones, and generally they are the best for us.

"Our own baby" is the one we will take the greatest pride in and enjoy the most.

Then we become masters of our own destiny in a sense and can be more independent through having no senior partners in the enterprise.

Often our dreams bring forth a need for many kinds of special knowledge and for these we go into the open market offering opportunity to many others in return for their assistance.

Thus we find that everything we do is in relation to other things and dependent in part on other people.

This should make us careful and a wee bit wary.

Opportunities are widely divergent in nature--through a stroke of hard luck one might have difficulty in finding employment.

The first opportunity might lead to a job in a bar-room, but having fortified ourselves by developing our highest attributes such as honesty, integrity, cleanliness of body and mind--we are able to somehow or other pinch along until something better shows itself.

First-class principles are not to be thrown away upon the first provocation, therefore, in order to take away the temptation, we might as well figure out that a great many employments in the world do not represent _real opportunities_ and therefore should not be considered.

Failure to seize such so-called opportunities becomes a virtue in the same sense that the failure to seize a decent opportunity becomes a shame.

Often opportunity comes through meeting men of affairs who have power and wealth at their command.

These are usually in connection with enterprises of the greater magnitude.

Those of us who have the power to control our destinies to a reasonable degree should not stand back in our support of these.

If we have carefully built up our initiative, self-reliance, preparedness in the way of efficiency, good health and the will to do, there is no reason why we should not aspire to take a hand in anything in which we are confident we can succeed.

Among the men who control the big affairs of the business world we find a true democracy--_they want the man_.

The fact that he appears before them neatly attired, bright of eye and ready of wit will surely count in his favor.

In other words, we should live up to the opportunity in whatever form it presents itself after we have accepted its responsibilities.

To make this perfectly plain _we must live up to the job_!

If we are to be superintendent of a coal mine "underneath the ground" we will put on our overalls and jumpers, but if we are to be manager of a grand opera house we will appear in our dress suits.

The thought is obvious, but as we journey along we find many of our fellow mortals neglecting to live in line with what they are doing.

We mention this fact hopeful that we will not fail to seize our opportunities by setting up obstacles whereby we may become _persona non grata_ through lack of discernment.

Opportunity is within ourselves and when we have seized our rightful share, then we may look with pride upon our endeavor and proceed to _laugh and live_!

CHAPTER XVII ASSUMING RESPONSIBILITIES

Those who fear to assume responsibility necessarily _take orders from others_.

The punishment fits the crime perfectly and being self-inflicted there is no injustice.

It is true that many men possessed of great brain power play "second fiddle" to shallow-minded men of inferior wisdom from sheer lack of forcefulness on their own part.

They lack the full quality of leadership while possessing all save one essential--_courage_.

Fear abides in their hearts and spreads itself as a mantle of gloom over their super-sensitive souls until finally they struggle no more.

Henceforth they are doomed and become the subject of apology on the part of friends and relations.

"He's all right," they say, "but he suffers from over-refinement."

He lacks something--we cannot make out just what.

It is altogether too bad for he is such a superior man among _his social equals_.

We must take our hats off to those who have the goodness of heart to make allowance for our shortcomings.

A disinterested listener, however, is seldom taken into camp by such well intended argument.

He knows that "friend husband" or "friend brother" as the case may be, needs some sort of swift kick that will stir his combativeness into action--that will cause him to turn upon his mental inferior and have it out with him then and there--once and for all.

As a courage builder _fighting for justice_ is not to be sneezed at.

Courage can be built up just the same as any other soul quality.

It is all a matter of early training as to which we start out with--courage or fear.

Unthinking parents have a lot to do with the propagation of fear in the hearts of children.

A _neglectful father_ plus a _fear-stricken mother_ constitute the most logical forces which tend toward the overdevelopment of fear in a child.

Once the seed is thoroughly implanted the growth can be depended upon.

How to get rid of it later is not so easy to figure out.

Had the child been born with a "clubfoot" these same parents would have spent their last dollar in an effort to straighten it into natural condition.

They could see the unshapely foot day by day with their own eyes--and so could their neighbors.

But the fear-warped little brain struggling for courage with which to combat its weakness needs must battle alone with chances largely against it.

The mere thought of what is in store for this little one as it stumbles along from one period to another, fearful of this, and fearful of that, is disconcerting to say the least.

We can almost trace our friend "Second Fiddle" directly back to such a childhood.

We can almost hear his fond mother shout, "Keep away from the brook, darling, you might get your feet wet and _catch your death of a cold_."

Another well known and highly respected admonition belonging to childhood's hour is, "Come in, deary, it's getting dark--Bogie man will get you if you don't watch out."

[Illustration: _Bungalowing in California_] Some years later when little son runs breathless into the home portal after being chased from school by some "turrible" boys we can hear this same little mother as she storms about the place and tells what "papa must do" about the matter.

According to her notion, if teachers could not control the "criminal element" among their pupils then it was high time for the police to step in.

Never a word about little son taking his own part!

Father listens in silence and half formulates the notion of going direct to the parents and laying down the law, while little son listens in fear and trembling in anticipation of what is coming to him if father carries out his threat.

Tall oaks from little acorns grow--_if the twig is not bent in the sprouting_.

Little son is bound to grow into manhood some day and when he arrives he must have one particular attribute--_courage_.

Somehow he will get along if he has that.

He may also wear a "clubfoot" or a "hunch back," but with courage as a running mate he will assume his responsibilities and become a force in the world.

Once a great orator sat upon a rostrum listening to a speech by a man who cautioned his countrymen against taking steps to defend the national honor.

"We'll outlive the taunts of those who would drag us into war!"

he bellowed forth.

Whereupon the orator jumped to his feet and with clarion voice shouted, "God hates a coward!"

and then sat down again.

Dazed at first the vast throng sat stupefied--but only for a moment.

Then as one man they jumped to their feet and by reason of prolonged cheering gave national impulse to a thought which has since been sermonized from thousands of pulpits.

The orator had simply paraphrased and put "pep" into the old Biblical slogan: "The Lord helps those who help themselves."

The effect was electrical.

The whole country rallied to the idea with the result that we saved ourselves from war by showing the solid front of being ready and willing to defend ourselves.

Everything that tends to build up courage is an asset in life.

The more we have of it the further we go and the more interesting our lives become.

For _the man of the lion heart_ all things unfold and unto him the timid must bring their offerings.

No one of ordinary gumption consults the human "flivver."

Advice from him would be unavailing.

His point of view would be inadequate--his ability to advise, impotent.

We go to the man who does things and say to him: "Here is my little idea--do you want to help me put it over?"

If it is good, he does.

If not, his experience tells him so, for men of courage are naturally possessed of large vision.

Their lack of fear has given them right-of-way over vast areas of the world of action.

They fail only as "their lights go out forever."

With courage we order our own lives and take orders only from those of superior wisdom.

This we can never afford _not to do_.

The courageous man of largest vision commands by his power to reason logically and therefore assumes the air of comradeship rather than "overseer" or "boss."

Only through lack of moral and physical courage are we to become the slaves of these.

Courage--the child of _Hope--the despair of Failure_.

Born of Good Cheer it links its fate with the higher attributes and tramples under foot the fears which spring up before it.

When _sown early_ into the hearts of the young its companionship becomes unerring in its efficiency for good throughout their lives.

CHAPTER XVIII WEDLOCK IN TIME

It is a happy idea to marry while we are young--a fine thing--a good thing--_a pleasant duty indeed_ to marry the woman of our choice at a time of life when both are at an age when adjustment is natural and lasting loyalties are implanted in our hearts and minds for all time.

We make a sad mistake when we postpone so important a step just for the sake of becoming a rich man first so that our bride-to-be may step into luxurious quarters and never have to lift her dainty hands except to sip from the glass of nectar we have set before her.

The real facts compiled by the statistical "System Sams" are against this idea.

The balance comes up in red ink _on the wrong side of the ledger_.

According to these gentlemen the average mortal is likely to be very fat and much over forty before he can make an offering according to his first generous impulses and the chances are he will never reach the goal in this life.

By the time he might be financially ready there is a hard glint in his eye, and he will be looking for the mote in the eye of his lady love.

The waiting game is a hard one _and it makes us worldly_.

After the lapse of years what once seemed a _rose_ might appear to be more of a _hollyhock_.

Naturally we never blame ourselves for the changes.

Had we obeyed the grand impulse in the hour of our youth we might have kept the garden full of roses and the hollyhocks would never have sprouted there.

Then the home nest would have tinged our sensibilities with its loveliness and our affections would have been nailed down hard and fast _forever and a day_.

Among the many baffling problems which the young man faces, and for that matter, any man, is marriage.

More thought, more energy and more time is taken up over this one decisive step than over any other.

The reasons are obvious.

It involves for life the happiness of the contracting parties--not only in a direct and personal way, but also in a general sense.

The man's business success largely depends upon the helpmate he has in his home.

_His career is at her mercy.

_ For example, if the wife should turn out to be unsympathetic, and uninterested in his ambitions, this fact might warp his prospects by causing him to _lose heart_ in facing the large problems awaiting him along the road of opportunity.

However, if she is of a cheerful, energetic disposition and willing to do all that she can to help him over the rough spots as they travel along together he will be _inspired into action_ and will do his level best.

He will be conscious as he goes about his work that there is _one_ person above all upon whom he can depend--_his wife_.

Marriage is a _serious business_ and usually we concede that point in the beginning.

However, this is not aimed as a blow at life's greatest romance ...

it is merely the recognition of an elemental fact....

Marriage must have its _practical side_.

To become successful in the highest degree man and wife _must establish a comradeship_.

It is not the part of wisdom that either should rule the other, but rather that each should have the interest of the other at heart and should strive to be helpful one unto the other.

Two men can go through life the best of friends, each holding the respect and confidence of the other.

So can two women.

_Then, why not a man and wife?

_ Needless to say they can, and do.

Such partnerships are sure of success.

It is only through lack of comradeship that love flies out of the window--_and lights on a sea-going aeroplane_.

The marriage state is a long contract--it should not be stumbled into by man or woman.

Nor should we become cowardly to the point of backing out of it altogether.

Love is blind _only to the blind_.

Either party to the tie that binds has a chance to know in advance whether the venture is safe and sane.

All a man has to consider after he knows his own heart is that the woman of his choice is sensible, considerate and healthy.

Other things being equal he can take the leap without hesitancy.

We shouldn't borrow trouble.

[Illustration: _Demonstrating the Monk and the Hand-Organ to a Body of Psychologists_] Of course there are those who _should never marry_.

They do, however, and when they do they loan themselves to the mockery of the marriage state.

There is no time to dwell on this thought for it is just something that goes on happening anyway and has no bearing upon the advisability of "wedlock in time" between _people of horse sense_.

Given a good wife, after his own heart, no manly man has a righteous kick coming against the fates.

Under such circumstances if things go wrong he will find the fault within himself.

Of course we should, to the fullest possible extent, be prepared for marriage before assuming its responsibilities.

We should at least have a ticket before embarking--and it is the _real_ man's duty to provide the ticket.

Since it is to be a long voyage a "round trip" isn't necessary.

In other words, a man needn't be rich when he marries--but he should not be broke, either.

Lack of funds a few days after the honeymoon is too hard a test for matrimony to bear nobly.

It is too much like inviting a catastrophe through lack of good, hard sense to begin with.

It shows poor generalship at the very start--and there is the liability of causing great distress and hardship to a tender-hearted little woman.

It would be a sad blow to her to find that the man of her choice was, after all, just an ordinary fellow--_a man without foresight_.

There are four seasons in married life--spring, summer, fall and winter, and we are going to need a comrade as we go through each of them.

And the one we want _is the one we start with_--the gentle partner in all our joys and sorrows.

It is she who will stand back of us when all others fail.

When the children come along to bless our days and inspire us to greater efforts we are glad to look into their happy, smiling faces and find that they resemble their mother--their soft cheeks are like hers, their hands, their dainty ways, their caresses.

And when mama looks into those same bright eyes they make her think of their daddy.

The fond affection bestowed upon the children by both parents is but another mode of expressing their regard for each other.

Springtime days, these!

When little tots climb up and entwine their arms about our necks.

If this were married life's only compensation it would not prove in vain--for when the babies enter the home the tie that binds becomes hard and fast--_if the man is a manly man_.

To become the father of a bright-eyed babe is an experience of the highest importance to a young man getting started.

It reinforces his courage, doubles up his ambitions and _puts him on his metal_.

He has a new responsibility and it adds to his strength of character to assume it in all its phases.

Another thing it brings comfort and joy to the mother during the long days while her man is out in the fray.

_It drives ennui out of the household throughout our springtime days.

_ And when summer comes along new hopes dawn within us.

Springtime had found us up and doing and when it merged into the new season we found our aspirations even stronger than before.

Children must be educated and their futures prepared in advance as far as may be.

They must not go into the world _without tools to work with_.

Meanwhile the household teems with plans and becomes a veritable dreamland of youthful fervor.

We find that having helped our children into attractive personalities they have become magnets with which to draw about us their comrades.

Thus we hold on to our youth by virtue of our surroundings--creatures of our thoughtfulness concerning "_wedlock in time_."

That the fall season is coming has no terrors for us.

There will be the weddings and plannings for new homes _close by_--if we have our say.

And in due course, the grandchildren will come who will favor grandpa and grandma and once again youth knocks at our door.

There will be no dread winter days for us for we have been forehanded--we have a _new crew on board to chase away the cares of old age and infirmities_.

Try how we will there is no way to forestall the operation of the law of compensation.

We reap as we sow.

The world will be good to those who compel its respect by becoming the right sort of citizens.

_Wedlock in time--that's the answer_!

CHAPTER XIX LAUGH AND LIVE

Again I find it expedient to resort to the personal pronoun and therefore this final chapter is to be devoted to "_you_ and _me_."

There are facts you may want to know _for sure_ and one of them is whether or not I live up to my own prescription.

I do--_and it's easy_!

I have kept myself happy and well through keeping my physical department in first class order.

If that had been left to take care of itself I would surely have fallen by the wayside in other departments.

Once we sit down in security the world seems to _hand us things we do not need_.

Fresh air is my intoxicant--and it keeps me in high spirits.

My system doesn't crave artificial stimulation because _my daily exercise_ quickens the blood sufficiently.

Then, too, I manage to _keep busy_.

That's the real elixir--_activity_!

Not always physical activity, either, for I must read good books in order to exercise my mind in other channels than just my daily routine--and add to my store of knowledge as well.

Then there is my _inner-self_ which must have attention now and then.

For this a little solitude is helpful.

We have only to sense the phenomena surrounding us to know that we must have a _working faith_--something _practical_ to live by, which automatically keeps us on our course.

The mystery of life somehow loses its density _if we retain our spark of hope_.

All of my life since childhood I have held Shakespeare in constant companionship.

Aside from the Bible--which is entirely apart from all other books--Shakespeare has no equal.

My father, partly from his love for the great poet, and partly for the purpose of aiding me to memorize accurately, taught me to recite Shakespeare before I was old enough to know the meaning of the words.

I remembered them, however, and in later years I grew to know their full significance.

Then I became an ardent follower of the Master Philosopher, than whom no greater interpreter of human emotions ever lived.

In the matter of sage advice there has never been his equal.

In "_Hamlet_" we find the wonderful words of admonition from _Polonius_ in his farewell speech to his son _Laertes_--as good today as four hundred years ago, and they will continue to be so until the end of time.

It matters not how familiar we may be with these lines it is no waste of time to read them over again once in awhile.

They seem to fit the _practical side of life_ perfectly.

If we have any complaint by reason of their brusqueness we have only to temper our interpretation according to our own sense of justice.

In other words if we wanted to loan a "ten-spot" now and then we would just go ahead and do it--meanwhile, to save you the trouble of looking up these lines, here they are in "Laugh and Live"-- And these few precepts in thy memory See thou charácter--Give thy thoughts no tongue, Nor any unproportioned thought his act.

Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.

The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried, Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;

But do not dull thy palm with entertainment Of each new-hatch'd, unfledged comrade.

Beware Of entrance to a quarrel: but, being in, Bear't that the opposed may beware of thee.

Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice: Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy, But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy: For the apparel oft proclaims the man;

And they in France of the best rank and station Are of a most select and generous sheaf in that.

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;

For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry, This above all--_to thine ownself be true;

And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man_.

[Illustration: "Wedlock in Time"--The Fairbanks' Family] The time has come to close this little book.

It has been a great pleasure to write it and a greater pleasure to hope that it will be received in the same spirit it has been written.

These are busy days for all of us.

We go in a gallop most of the time, but there comes the quiet hour when we must sit still and "take stock."

I know this from the letters that come to me asking my opinion on all sorts of subjects.

People believe I am happy because my laughing pictures seem to denote this fact--_and it is a fact_!

In the foregoing chapters I have told why.

If, in the telling I shall have been instrumental in adding to _the world's store of happiness_ I shall ever thank my "lucky stars."

Very Sincerely Douglas Fairbanks A "CLOSE-UP" OF DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS

by George Creel Reprinted from Everybody's Magazine by Permission of The Ridgway Company, New York.

CHAPTER XX A "CLOSE-UP" OF DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS

Young Mr. Douglas Fairbanks, star alike in both the "speakies" and the "movies," is well worth a story.

He is what every American might be, ought to be, and frequently is _not_.

More than any other that comes to mind, he is possessed of the indomitable optimism that gives purpose, "punch," and color to any life, no matter what the odds.

He holds the world's record for the standing broad grin.

There isn't a minute of the day that fails to find him glad that he's alive.

Nobody ever saw him with a "grouch," or suffering from an attack of the "blues."

Nobody ever heard him mention "hard luck" in connection with one of his failures.

The worse the breaks of the game, the gloomier the outlook, the wider his grin.

He has made cheerfulness a habit, and it has paid him in courage, in bubbling energy, and buoyant resolve.

We are a young nation and a great nation.

Judging from the promise of the morning, there is nothing that may not be asked of America's noon.

A

land of abundance, with not an evil that may not be banished, and yet there is more whining in it than in any other country on the face of the globe.

If we are to die, "Nibbled to Death by Ducks" may well be put on the tombstone.

Little things are permitted to bring about paroxysms of peevishness.

Even our pleasures have come to be taken sadly.

We are irritable at picnics, snarly at clambakes, and bored to death at dinners.

The Government ought to hire Douglas Fairbanks, and send him over the country as an agent of the Bureau of Grins.

Have him start work in Boston, and then rush him by special train to Philadelphia.

If the wealth of the United States increased ,000,000,000 during the last three peevish, whining years, think what would happen if we learned the art of joyousness and gained the strength that comes from good humor and optimism!

"Doug" Fairbanks--now that he is in the "movies" we don't have to be formal--is the living, breathing proof of the value of a grin.

His rise from obscurity to fame, from poverty to wealth, has no larger foundation than his ever-ready willingness to let the whole world see every tooth in his head.

Good looks?

Artistry?

Bosh!

The Fairbanks features were evidently picked out by a utilitarian mother who preferred use to ornament; and as for his acting, critics of the drama, imbued with the traditions of Booth and Barrett, have been known to sob like children after witnessing a Fairbanks performance.

It is the joyousness of the man that gets him over.

It's the 100 per cent interest that he takes in everything he goes at that lies at the back of his success.

He does nothing by halves, is never indifferent, never lackadaisical.

At various stages in his brief career he has been a Shakespearean actor, Wall Street clerk, hay steward on a cattle-boat, vagabond, and business man, knowing poverty, hunger, and discomfort at times, but never, _never_ losing the grin.

Things began to move for him when he left a Denver high school back in 1900 for the purpose of entering college.

As he says, "A man can't be too careful about college."

He started for Princeton, but met a youth on the train who was going to Harvard.

He took a special course at Cambridge--just what it was he can't remember--but at the end of the year it was hinted to him that circus life was more suited to his talents, particularly one with three rings.

A friend, however, suggested the theatre, and gave him a card to Frederick Warde, the tragedian.

Mr. Warde fell for the Fairbanks grin, and as a first part assigned him the role of _François_, the lackey, in "Richelieu."

What he lacked in experience he made up for in activity and unflagging merriment.

It got to be so that Warde was almost afraid to touch the bell, for he never knew whether the amazing _François_ would enter through the door or come down from the ceiling.

After the company had done its worst to "Richelieu," it changed to Shakespearean repertoire, and for one year young Fairbanks engaged in what Mr. Warde was pleased to term a "catch-as-catch-can bout with the immortal Bard."

When friends of Shakespeare finally protested in the name of humanity, the strenuous Douglas accepted an engagement with Herbert Kelcey and Effie Shannon in "Her Lord and Master."

Five months went by before the two stars broke under the strain, and by that time news had come to Mr. Fairbanks that Wall Street was Easy Money's other name.

Armed with his grin, he marched into the office of De Coppet & Doremus, and when the manager came out of his trance Shakespeare's worst enemy was holding down the job of order man.

"The name Coppet appealed to me," he explains.

He is still remembered in that office, fondly but fearfully.

He did his work well enough; in fact, there are those who insist that he invented scientific management.

"How about that?"

I asked him, for it puzzled me.

"Well, you see, it was this way: For five days in a week I would say, 'Quite so' to my assistant, no matter what he suggested.

On Saturday I would dash into the manager's office, wag my head, knit my brow, and exclaim, 'What we need around here is _efficiency_.'

And once I urged the purchase of a time-clock."

The way he filled his spare time was what bothered.

What with his tumbling tricks, boxing, wrestling, leap-frog over chairs, and other small gaieties, he mussed up routine to a certain extent.

But he was _not_ discharged.

At a point where the firm was just one jump ahead of nervous prostration, along came "Jack" Beardsley and "Little" Owen, two husky football players with a desire to see life without the safety clutch.

The three approached the officials of a cattle-steamship, and by persistent claims to the effect that they "had a way" with dumb animals, got jobs as hay stewards.

"We found the cows very nice," comments Mr. Fairbanks.