Wine, Water and Song — 15 - The Song of Right and Wrong

The Song of Right and Wrong Feast on wine or fast on water, And your honour shall stand sure, God Almighty's son and daughter He the valiant, she the pure;

If an angel out of heaven Brings you other things to drink, Thank him for his kind attentions, Go and pour them down the sink.

Tea is like the East he grows in, A great yellow Mandarin With urbanity of manner And unconsciousness of sin;

All the women, like a harem, At his pig-tail troop along;

And, like all the East he grows in, He is Poison when he's strong.

Tea, although an Oriental, Is a gentleman at least;

Cocoa is a cad and coward, Cocoa is a vulgar beast, Cocoa is a dull, disloyal, Lying, crawling cad and clown, And may very well be grateful To the fool that takes him down.