Octopus — Book II, Chapter 9, Part 3
For an instant he told himself that the suddenness of this new emotion must be evidence of its insincerity.
He was perfectly well aware that his impulses were abrupt and of short duration.
But he knew that this was not sudden.
Without realising it, he had been from the first drawn to Hilma, and all through these last terrible days, since the time he had seen her at Los Muertos, just after the battle at the ditch, she had obtruded continually upon his thoughts.
The sight of her to-day, more beautiful than ever, quiet, strong, reserved, had only brought matters to a culmination.
“Are you,” he asked her, “are you so unhappy, Hilma, that you can look forward to no more brightness in your life?
” “Unless I could forget--forget my husband,” she answered, “how can I be happy?
I would rather be unhappy in remembering him than happy in forgetting him.
He was my whole world, literally and truly.
Nothing seemed to count before I knew him, and nothing can count for me now, after I have lost him.
” “You think now,” he answered, “that in being happy again you would be disloyal to him.
But you will find after a while--years from now--that it need not be so.
The part of you that belonged to your husband can always keep him sacred, that part of you belongs to him and he to it.
But you are young; you have all your life to live yet.
Your sorrow need not be a burden to you.
If you consider it as you should--as you WILL some day, believe me--it will only be a great help to you.
It will make you more noble, a truer woman, more generous.
” “I think I see,” she answered, “and I never thought about it in that light before.
” “I want to help you,” he answered, “as you have helped me.
I want to be your friend, and above all things I do not want to see your life wasted.
I am going away and it is quite possible I shall never see you again, but you will always be a help to me.
” “I do not understand,” she answered, “but I know you mean to be very, very kind to me.
Yes, I hope when you come back--if you ever do--you will still be that.
I do not know why you should want to be so kind, unless--yes, of course--you were my husband's dearest friend.
” They talked a little longer, and at length Presley rose.
“I cannot bring myself to see Mrs. Derrick again,” he said.
“It would only serve to make her very unhappy.
Will you explain that to her?
I
think she will understand.
” “Yes,” answered Hilma.
“Yes, I will.
” There was a pause.
There seemed to be nothing more for either of them to say.
Presley held out his hand.
“Good-bye,” she said, as she gave him hers.
He carried it to his lips.
“Good-bye,” he answered.
“Good-bye and may God bless you.
” He turned away abruptly and left the room.
But as he was quietly making his way out of the house, hoping to get to his horse unobserved, he came suddenly upon Mrs. Dyke and Sidney on the porch of the house.
He had forgotten that since the affair at the ditch, Los Muertos had been a home to the engineer's mother and daughter.
“And you, Mrs. Dyke,” he asked as he took her hand, “in this break-up of everything, where do you go?
” “To the city,” she answered, “to San Francisco.
I have a sister there who will look after the little tad.
” “But you, how about yourself, Mrs. Dyke?
” She answered him in a quiet voice, monotonous, expressionless: “I am going to die very soon, Mr. Presley.
There is no reason why I should live any longer.
My son is in prison for life, everything is over for me, and I am tired, worn out.
” “You mustn't talk like that, Mrs. Dyke,” protested Presley, “nonsense;
you will live long enough to see the little tad married.
” He tried to be cheerful.
But he knew his words lacked the ring of conviction.
Death already overshadowed the face of the engineer's mother.
He felt that she spoke the truth, and as he stood there speaking to her for the last time, his arm about little Sidney's shoulder, he knew that he was seeing the beginnings of the wreck of another family and that, like Hilda Hooven, another baby girl was to be started in life, through no fault of hers, fearfully handicapped, weighed down at the threshold of existence with a load of disgrace.
Hilda Hooven and Sidney Dyke, what was to be their histories?
the one, sister of an outcast; the other, daughter of a convict.
And he thought of that other young girl, the little Honora Gerard, the heiress of millions, petted, loved, receiving adulation from all who came near to her, whose only care was to choose from among the multitude of pleasures that the world hastened to present to her consideration.
“Good-bye,” he said, holding out his hand.
“Good-bye.
” “Good-bye, Sidney.
” He kissed the little girl, clasped Mrs. Dyke's hand a moment with his;
then, slinging his satchel about his shoulders by the long strap with which it was provided, left the house, and mounting his horse rode away from Los Muertos never to return.
Presley came out upon the County Road.
At a little distance to his left he could see the group of buildings where once Broderson had lived.
These were being remodelled, at length, to suit the larger demands of the New Agriculture.
A strange man came out by the road gate; no doubt, the new proprietor.
Presley turned away, hurrying northwards along the County Road by the mammoth watering-tank and the long wind-break of poplars.
He came to Caraher's place.
There was no change here.
The saloon had weathered the storm, indispensable to the new as well as to the old regime.
The same dusty buggies and buckboards were tied under the shed, and as Presley hurried by he could distinguish Caraher's voice, loud as ever, still proclaiming his creed of annihilation.
Bonneville Presley avoided.
He had no associations with the town.
He turned aside from the road, and crossing the northwest corner of Los Muertos and the line of the railroad, turned back along the Upper Road till he came to the Long Trestle and Annixter's,--Silence, desolation, abandonment.
A vast stillness, profound, unbroken, brooded low over all the place.
No living thing stirred.
The rusted wind-mill on the skeleton-like tower of the artesian well was motionless; the great barn empty; the windows of the ranch house, cook house, and dairy boarded up.
Nailed upon a tree near the broken gateway was a board, white painted, with stencilled letters, bearing the inscription: “Warning.
ALL PERSONS FOUND TRESPASSING ON THESE PREMISES WILL BE
PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW.
By order P. and S. W.
R.
R.
” As he had planned, Presley reached the hills by the head waters of Broderson's Creek late in the afternoon.
Toilfully he climbed them, reached the highest crest, and turning about, looked long and for the last time at all the reach of the valley unrolled beneath him.
The land of the ranches opened out forever and forever under the stimulus of that measureless range of vision.
The whole gigantic sweep of the San Joaquin expanded Titanic before the eye of the mind, flagellated with heat, quivering and shimmering under the sun's red eye.
It was the season after the harvest, and the great earth, the mother, after its period of reproduction, its pains of labour, delivered of the fruit of its loins, slept the sleep of exhaustion in the infinite repose of the colossus, benignant, eternal, strong, the nourisher of nations, the feeder of an entire world.
And as Presley looked there came to him strong and true the sense and the significance of all the enigma of growth.
He seemed for one instant to touch the explanation of existence.
Men were nothings, mere animalculae, mere ephemerides that fluttered and fell and were forgotten between dawn and dusk.
Vanamee had said there was no death.
But for one second Presley could go one step further.
Men were naught, death was naught, life was naught; FORCE only existed--FORCE that brought men into the world, FORCE that crowded them out of it to make way for the succeeding generation, FORCE that made the wheat grow, FORCE that garnered it from the soil to give place to the succeeding crop.
It was the mystery of creation, the stupendous miracle of recreation;
the vast rhythm of the seasons, measured, alternative, the sun and the stars keeping time as the eternal symphony of reproduction swung in its tremendous cadences like the colossal pendulum of an almighty machine--primordial energy flung out from the hand of the Lord God himself, immortal, calm, infinitely strong.
But as he stood thus looking down upon the great valley he was aware of the figure of a man, far in the distance, moving steadily towards the Mission of San Juan.
The man was hardly more than a dot, but there was something unmistakably familiar in his gait; and besides this, Presley could fancy that he was hatless.
He touched his pony with his spur.
The man was Vanamee beyond all doubt, and a little later Presley, descending the maze of cow-paths and cattle-trails that led down towards the Broderson Creek, overtook his friend.
Instantly Presley was aware of an immense change.
Vanamee's face was still that of an ascetic, still glowed with the rarefied intelligence of a young seer, a half-inspired shepherd-prophet of Hebraic legends; but the shadow of that great sadness which for so long had brooded over him was gone; the grief that once he had fancied deathless was, indeed, dead, or rather swallowed up in a victorious joy that radiated like sunlight at dawn from the deep-set eyes, and the hollow, swarthy cheeks.
They talked together till nearly sundown, but to Presley's questions as to the reasons for Vanamee's happiness, the other would say nothing.
Once only he allowed himself to touch upon the subject.
“Death and grief are little things,” he said.
“They are transient.
Life must be before death, and joy before grief.
Else there are no such things as death or grief.
These are only negatives.
Life is positive.
Death is only the absence of life, just as night is only the absence of day, and if this is so, there is no such thing as death.
There is only life, and the suppression of life, that we, foolishly, say is death.
'Suppression,' I say, not extinction.
I do not say that life returns.
Life never departs.
Life simply IS.
For certain seasons, it is hidden in the dark, but is that death, extinction, annihilation?
I take it, thank God, that it is not.
Does the grain of wheat, hidden for certain seasons in the dark, die?
The grain we think is dead RESUMES AGAIN; but how?
Not as one grain, but as twenty.
So all life.
Death is only real for all the detritus of the world, for all the sorrow, for all the injustice, for all the grief.
Presley, the good never dies; evil dies, cruelty, oppression, selfishness, greed--these die; but nobility, but love, but sacrifice, but generosity, but truth, thank God for it, small as they are, difficult as it is to discover them--these live forever, these are eternal.
You are all broken, all cast down by what you have seen in this valley, this hopeless struggle, this apparently hopeless despair.
Well, the end is not yet.
What is it that remains after all is over, after the dead are buried and the hearts are broken?
Look at it all from the vast height of humanity--'the greatest good to the greatest numbers.'
What remains?
Men perish, men are corrupted, hearts are rent asunder, but what remains untouched, unassailable, undefiled?
Try to find that, not only in this, but in every crisis of the world's life, and you will find, if your view be large enough, that it is not evil, but good, that in the end remains.
” There was a long pause.
Presley, his mind full of new thoughts, held his peace, and Vanamee added at length: “I believed Angele dead.
I wept over her grave; mourned for her as dead in corruption.
She has come back to me, more beautiful than ever.
Do not ask me any further.
To put this story, this idyl, into words, would, for me, be a profanation.
This must suffice you.
Angele has returned to me, and I am happy.
Adios.
” He rose suddenly.
The friends clasped each other's hands.
“We shall probably never meet again,” said Vanamee; “but if these are the last words I ever speak to you, listen to them, and remember them, because I know I speak the truth.
Evil is short-lived.
Never judge of the whole round of life by the mere segment you can see.
The whole is, in the end, perfect.
” Abruptly he took himself away.
He was gone.
Presley, alone, thoughtful, his hands clasped behind him, passed on through the ranches--here teeming with ripened wheat--his face set from them forever.
Not so Vanamee.
For hours he roamed the countryside, now through the deserted cluster of buildings that had once been Annixter's home;
now through the rustling and, as yet, uncut wheat of Quien Sabe!
now treading the slopes of the hills far to the north, and again following the winding courses of the streams.
Thus he spent the night.
At length, the day broke, resplendent, cloudless.
The night was passed.
There was all the sparkle and effervescence of joy in the crystal sunlight as the dawn expanded roseate, and at length flamed dazzling to the zenith when the sun moved over the edge of the world and looked down upon all the earth like the eye of God the Father.
At the moment, Vanamee stood breast-deep in the wheat in a solitary corner of the Quien Sabe rancho.
He turned eastward, facing the celestial glory of the day and sent his voiceless call far from him across the golden grain out towards the little valley of flowers.
Swiftly the answer came.
It advanced to meet him.
The flowers of the Seed ranch were gone, dried and parched by the summer's sun, shedding their seed by handfuls to be sown again and blossom yet another time.
The Seed ranch was no longer royal with colour.
The roses, the lilies, the carnations, the hyacinths, the poppies, the violets, the mignonette, all these had vanished, the little valley was without colour; where once it had exhaled the most delicious perfume, it was now odourless.
Under the blinding light of the day it stretched to its hillsides, bare, brown, unlovely.
The romance of the place had vanished, but with it had vanished the Vision.
It was no longer a figment of his imagination, a creature of dreams that advanced to meet Vanamee.
It was Reality--it was Angele in the flesh, vital, sane, material, who at last issued forth from the entrance of the little valley.
Romance had vanished, but better than romance was here.
Not a manifestation, not a dream, but her very self.
The night was gone, but the sun had risen; the flowers had disappeared, but strong, vigorous, noble, the wheat had come.
In the wheat he waited for her.
He saw her coming.
She was simply dressed.
No fanciful wreath of tube-roses was about her head now, no strange garment of red and gold enveloped her now.
It was no longer an ephemeral illusion of the night, evanescent, mystic, but a simple country girl coming to meet her lover.
The vision of the night had been beautiful, but what was it compared to this?
Reality was better than Romance.
The simple honesty of a loving, trusting heart was better than a legend of flowers, an hallucination of the moonlight.
She came nearer.
Bathed in sunlight, he saw her face to face, saw her hair hanging in two straight plaits on either side of her face, saw the enchanting fulness of her lips, the strange, balancing movement of her head upon her slender neck.
But now she was no longer asleep.
The wonderful eyes, violet blue, heavy-lidded, with their perplexing, oriental slant towards the temples, were wide open and fixed upon his.
From out the world of romance, out of the moonlight and the star sheen, out of the faint radiance of the lilies and the still air heavy with perfume, she had at last come to him.
The moonlight, the flowers, and the dream were all vanished away.
Angele was realised in the Wheat.
She stood forth in the sunlight, a fact, and no longer a fancy.
He ran forward to meet her and she held out her arms to him.
He caught her to him, and she, turning her face to his, kissed him on the mouth.
“I love you, I love you,” she murmured.
