Pride and Prejudice: A Play — Act Three
ACT III
_The parlour of_ MR. COLLINS'S _parsonage at Hunsford.
At the back of the room is an open door.
This door leads directly into the garden, beyond which is seen, through an opening in the trees of the park opposite, "the prospect of Rosings"--the residence of_ LADY CATHERINE DE BOURG--"_a handsome, modern building on rising ground."
A wide cottage window, also at the back of the room, gives a plain view of the passers-by.
On either side of the parlour is a door, leading to other parts of the house.
_ ELIZABETH _is discovered standing at the open door and looking up at some one outside who is evidently climbing the trellis_.
A VOICE (_outside.
_) Is this the cluster you wish, Miss Bennet?
ELIZABETH.
[_Mischievously.
_] No, Colonel Fitzwilliam.
Those are buds; the ones higher still.
There--by the eaves.
[ELIZABETH _laughingly watches_ COLONEL FITZWILLIAM _until he appears with a cluster of half opened roses, which he presents to her with a gallant air_.
] ELIZABETH.
[_Taking the roses and putting them in her girdle.
_] Thank you.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
May not I have _one_, as my reward, Miss Bennet?
ELIZABETH.
Is not accomplishment its own reward?
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
And is not the power to be generous the highest reward that can be given to any accomplishment?
ELIZABETH.
Oh, surely!
And so _you_ would have to be generous and get me some more roses: then we should each of us have to invent new speeches, and so we should never be done till we were ready to print a phrase book.
However, you have certainly won your rose.
[_She gives it to him.
_] COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
Thank you!
That phrase-book is a capital idea, Miss Bennet.
Nothing could please me better than just such an occupation.
It would really be a charity, for Darcy is such a dull fellow these days that I really don't know what to do with myself.
ELIZABETH.
But we should hardly have the time for such a project.
You say that you and Mr. Darcy are to leave Lady Catherine on Saturday.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
Yes, if Darcy doesn't put it off again.
He has already paid our aunt a much longer visit than ever before.
I am at his disposal, you know.
He arranges the business just as he pleases.
ELIZABETH.
I do not know anybody who seems more to enjoy the power of doing what he pleases than Mr. Darcy.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
He likes to have his own way very well, but so do we all.
It is only that he has better means of having it than many others.
[_Looking at his watch.
_] I suppose I ought to go and look for him now.
I expected to find him here, [_With a meaning smile.
_] as not unfrequently happens.
But since he is not, he probably expects me to meet him at the Crossroads.
ELIZABETH.
I imagine your cousin brought you down with him chiefly for the sake of having somebody at his disposal.
I wonder he does not marry to secure a lasting convenience of that kind.
But perhaps his sister does as well for the present,--and, as she is under his sole care, he may do what he likes with her.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
No--that is an advantage which he must share with me.
I am joined with him in the guardianship of Miss Darcy.
ELIZABETH.
Are you, indeed?
And pray what sort of a guardian do you make?
Does your charge give you much trouble?
Young ladies of her age are sometimes a little difficult to manage.
And, if she has the true Darcy spirit, she may like to have her own way.
[COLONEL FITZWILLIAM _looks at_ ELIZABETH _very suspiciously as she makes this last remark_.
] COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
Why--what?
--Why do you suppose Miss Darcy is likely to give us any uneasiness, Miss Bennet?
ELIZABETH.
[_Carelessly.
_] Oh, nothing at all!
You need not be frightened!
I never heard any harm of her; she is a great favourite with a lady of my acquaintance--Miss Bingley.
I think I have heard you say that you knew Miss Bingley.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
I know her a little.
Her brother is a pleasant, gentlemanlike man.
He is a great friend of Darcy's. ELIZABETH.
Oh, yes.
Mr. Darcy is uncommonly kind to Mr. Bingley and takes a prodigious deal of care of him.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
Care of him?
Yes, I really believe Darcy does take care of him.
From something he has told me, I have reason to think Bingley very much indebted to him.
[_Stopping.
_] But I ought to beg his pardon, for I have no right to suppose that Bingley was the person meant.
ELIZABETH.
[_Curiously, and with ill-concealed anxiety.
_] What is it you mean?
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
It is a circumstance which, of course, Darcy could not wish to be generally known, because if it were to get round to the lady's family it would be an unpleasant thing.
ELIZABETH.
You may depend upon my not mentioning it.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
And, remember, that I haven't much reason for supposing it to be Bingley.
What he told me was merely this: that he congratulated himself on having lately saved a friend from the inconveniences of a most imprudent marriage, but without names or any other particulars, and I only suspected it to be Bingley from believing him to be the kind of young man to get into a scrape of that sort.
ELIZABETH.
[_Trying to suppress her feeling.
_] Did Mr. Darcy give you his reasons for this interference?
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
I understood that there were some very strong objections against the lady.
ELIZABETH.
Indeed!
[_Trying to speak calmly.
_] And what arts did he use to separate them?
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
[_Smiling.
_] He did not talk to me of his own arts.
He only told _me_, what I have now told _you_.
ELIZABETH.
Why was your cousin to be the judge?
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
You are rather disposed to call his interference officious?
ELIZABETH.
[_Growing excited.
_] I do not see what right Mr. Darcy had to decide on the propriety of his friend's inclination; why, upon his _own_ judgment alone, Mr. Darcy was to determine in what manner his friend was to be happy.
[_Recovering herself.
_] But as we know none of the particulars, it is not fair to condemn him.
It is not to be supposed that there was much affection in the case.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
That is not an unnatural surmise, and I believe Darcy told me that he did not think that the lady, at least, was very deeply concerned in the matter.
However, to lessen the affection on either side is to lessen the honour of my cousin's triumph very sadly.
ELIZABETH.
Your cousin's triumph---- [_Greatly excited, she is about to continue, when_ CHARLOTTE'S _voice is heard outside_.
] CHARLOTTE.
Yes, Mr. Darcy, I think I saw Colonel Fitzwilliam go up the garden path a few moments ago.
[_Protesting.
_] Oh, no, Mr. Darcy, you are too kind!
Really---- DARCY.
[_Outside.
_] Pray, allow me.
[CHARLOTTE _enters, accompanied by_ DARCY, _who is carrying a basket of eggs.
She wears a garden hat and gloves.
_] CHARLOTTE.
Ah, here he is.
Good morning, Colonel Fitzwilliam.
[_To_ DARCY.
] Pray let me have the basket now, Mr. Darcy.
[DARCY _gives_ CHARLOTTE _the basket, and then turns to_ ELIZABETH.
] DARCY.
Good morning, Miss Bennet.
[ELIZABETH _returns_ DARCY'S _greeting with a self-consciousness which does not escape his notice, but the motive of which he mistakes_.
DARCY _gives a quick glance from_ ELIZABETH _to_ COLONEL FITZWILLIAM, _as he turns to speak to the latter_.
] Ah, Fitzwilliam, I thought I might find you here.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
[_Lightly.
_] Yes, I have been so fortunate as to secure some of Mrs. Collins's early roses for Miss Bennet.
CHARLOTTE.
[_In surprise.
_] Really!
Have they already opened?
ELIZABETH.
[_Who has by this time recovered her self-possession.
_] A very few of them.
But Colonel Fitzwilliam was obliged to climb very near to the sun to get me these.
[_She looks admiringly upon the flowers as she speaks.
_] COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
[_Showing the rose which_ ELIZABETH _has given him_.
] And you see I have my reward.
DARCY.
[_Smiling faintly.
_] Colonel Fitzwilliam might not have won his prize so easily, Miss Bennet, had there been others in the field.
ELIZABETH.
Ah, no, Mr. Darcy, I cannot lessen Colonel Fitzwilliam's achievement by admitting any such possibility.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
[_Gallantly.
_] Thank you, Miss Bennet!
[DARCY _turns away with an unconscious look of chagrin_.
] CHARLOTTE.
Well, surely, my roses will have to bloom their prettiest this season in return for all the attention they have received.
[_To the young men.
_] Will not you be seated, gentlemen?
DARCY.
[_Tartly.
_] Thanks, no, Mrs. Collins; I merely stopped for Colonel Fitzwilliam; but perhaps his rose-gathering has caused him to abandon our project of taking a walk together this morning.
COLONEL FITZWILLIAM.
By no means, Darcy, that pleasure has only been deferred.
DARCY.
Very good then.
We will go at once, if Mrs. Collins and Miss Bennet will pardon me this hasty call.
CHARLOTTE.
Certainly, Mr. Darcy!
[ELIZABETH _also, absent-mindedly, murmurs her assent, for which_ DARCY _lingers with vague uneasiness before departing with_ FITZWILLIAM.
CHARLOTTE _looks at_ ELIZABETH _curiously, then calls to the little maid, who enters_.
] CHARLOTTE.
Martha--take these eggs to the pantry.
Do not disturb them.
MARTHA.
Very well, ma'am.
[_She curtsies and goes out.
_] CHARLOTTE.
[_Taking off her hat and gloves.
_] Now, Eliza, we must get to our work and have a comfortable chat.
You have been here nearly two weeks and we really haven't had a good talk yet.
ELIZABETH.
[_Getting out her embroidery.
_] Yes, you promised me a quiet visit, Charlotte.
But I find you are more lively here than we are at Longbourn.
[_The two ladies sit at the table with their embroidery.
_] CHARLOTTE.
But how could I have anticipated the arrival here of two very attentive young gentlemen?
[_Smiling at_ ELIZABETH.
] It is really quite a surprising coincidence, or else Mr. Darcy has timed his visit to his aunt very cleverly.
As to these daily visits to the parsonage--you may be sure I do not take to myself the credit of them.
Neither of these young gentlemen would ever come so often to see me.
I have to thank you, Eliza, for this civility.
ELIZABETH.
[_With a little temper.
_] You may thank a lack of occupation on their part.
You know very well my opinion of Mr. Darcy!
CHARLOTTE.
Yes.
You have often expressed it.
I wish I were as well informed of Mr. Darcy's opinion of Eliza.
ELIZABETH.
When you know the one, you know the other.
They are identical.
CHARLOTTE.
Well, perhaps under the circumstances, that is the most satisfactory condition of things.
And do we hold the same opinion of Colonel Fitzwilliam?
ELIZABETH.
[_Tossing her head.
_] Oh, Colonel Fitzwilliam!
CHARLOTTE.
[_Looking at_ ELIZABETH _sharply, and after a short silence_.
] And so Jane is once more at home after her visit in London, and Lydia has gone to Brighton after all.
How did she ever manage to persuade your father?
ELIZABETH.
Oh, Lydia was so determined upon it that she and mamma gave my father no peace till they had teased him to consent.
But I am very sorry.
Lydia is too foolish, too ignorant and wilful to be trusted away from home.
I
only hope that no harm will come of it.
CHARLOTTE.
And is Mr. Wickham still with the regiment?
ELIZABETH.
Yes, he went with it to Brighton.
CHARLOTTE.
I hear that he is thinking of marrying Miss King, since she has just received a legacy of ten thousand pounds.
I should be sorry to think that our friend was mercenary.
ELIZABETH.
A man in distressed circumstances has not time for all those elegant decorums which other people may observe.
If Miss King does not object to it, why should we?
CHARLOTTE.
_Her_ not objecting does not justify--him.
ELIZABETH.
[_Emphatically.
_] Well, have it as you choose.
_He_ shall be mercenary, and _she_ shall be foolish!
Mr. Wickham's worst fault, after all, is his power of being agreeable.
Thank heaven, we both of us know some men who haven't one agreeable quality.
Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing!
CHARLOTTE.
[_Smiling.
_] Well, well, Eliza!
That speech savours a little of--disappointment.
ELIZABETH.
Oh, yes--anything you please!
CHARLOTTE.
[_Changing the subject.
_] And you say that Jane is not in her usual spirits?
ELIZABETH.
[_Shortly.
_] Yes.
CHARLOTTE.
And she is looking poorly?
ELIZABETH.
[_Still more shortly.
_] Yes--very!
CHARLOTTE.
Did she see much of the Bingleys in London?
ELIZABETH.
[_Bursting out hotly.
_] She saw nothing of them.
Oh, Charlotte, I have just had all my suspicions verified.
CHARLOTTE.
Your suspicions?
ELIZABETH.
Yes, there has been an arrangement in all this.
Mr. Bingley has been kept away from Jane by---- [_Stops suddenly.
_] CHARLOTTE.
[_Looks up curiously, then speaks quickly.
_] Don't imagine any such nonsense, Eliza.
A young man like Mr. Bingley so easily falls in love with a pretty girl for a few weeks--and, when accident separates them, so easily forgets her, that this sort of inconstancy is very frequent.
ELIZABETH.
We do not suffer from accident, Charlotte.
A young man of independent fortune does not suddenly decide of his own free will to think no more of a girl with whom he was violently in love.
CHARLOTTE.
But were they so violently in love?
ELIZABETH.
Yes--I never saw a more promising inclination.
Why, Mr. Bingley would talk to no one else--would look at no one else.
Is not general incivility the very essence of love?
CHARLOTTE.
[_Smiling.
_] It is usually a good test.
But if Jane did not return his affection---- It really did not seem to me that there was anything _violent_ in Jane's attitude.
I could never see that she showed any extreme affection for Bingley.
ELIZABETH.
