Pride and Prejudice: A Play — Act Four
ACT IV
_The Lawn and Shrubbery at Longbourn.
_ MRS.
BENNET _is seated in a garden chair with pillows at her back.
She has an umbrella over her head.
Near her stands a table on which are bottles, dishes, etc. She wears a big cap, and is gowned in a widely-flowing, flowered chamber-robe, over which is fastened a shawl; across her knees is a lap-robe.
Her entire get-up is grotesque and laughable.
About her hover the housekeeper_, HILL _and_ JANE.
JANE.
Dear mamma, do try and take some of this nice gruel.
You will be ill if you do not eat something.
HILL.
Yes, do, I beg of you, Madam.
Now that you are once more in the air, if you will only take some food you will feel much better.
MRS.
BENNET.
[_Fretfully.
_] How can I feel better?
I must be ill.
It is all very well for the rest of you, now that this disgrace has been brought upon me--but if I had been able to carry my point--if I could have gone to Brighton with all my family, this would never have happened.
But poor dear Lydia had nobody to take care of her.
Oh, that villainous Wickham!
I am sure there was some great neglect or other somewhere, for Lydia is not the kind of girl to run away with a man.
But no one would listen to me.
I was overruled, as I always am.
Poor Lydia!
Poor dear child!
JANE.
[_Soothingly.
_] Oh, mamma, try to be calm.
HILL.
Yes, Madam, this excitement is so bad for you.
MRS.
BENNET.
How can I help being excited?
You have no feelings.
Here is Mr. Bennet gone away, and I know he will fight that abominable Wickham and be killed.
And then what is to become of us all?
The Collinses will turn us out before Mr. Bennet is cold in his grave.
JANE.
Oh, mamma, do not have such terrific ideas.
MRS.
BENNET.
[_Weeping.
_] If my brother Gardiner is not kind to me, I do not know what we shall do.
JANE.
Yes, yes.
My Uncle Gardiner is very kind.
He is doing everything in his power for us.
He is helping my father now in London, you know.
I hope he will find Lydia, and perhaps he may be able to arrange a marriage after all.
You must not give up so, dear mamma.
HILL.
No indeed, Madam.
You must not indeed.
MRS.
BENNET.
[_Brightening.
_] Yes, Jane, that is true.
My brother may be able to see that they are married.
Write to him at once, Jane.
Tell him to find them out wherever they may be, and if they are not married already, make them marry.
Oh, I do think that Wickham is the wickedest young man in the world to so deceive my poor innocent Lydia.
But, Jane, go and write my brother and tell him that Lydia need not wait for wedding clothes--don't let her even give directions till she has seen me, for she doesn't know which are the best warehouses.
And oh, Jane, tell my brother to keep your father from fighting that hateful Wickham.
Tell him what a dreadful state I am in.
JANE.
Yes, mamma.
[_She is about to go.
_] MRS.
BENNET.
Where are you going?
JANE.
Why, to write the letter, mamma.
MRS.
BENNET.
[_Fretfully.
_] Oh, not just this minute.
Don't leave me alone.
Where is Lizzy?
JANE.
She has gone down the road to meet the post.
She hopes to bring you good news.
MRS.
BENNET.
[_Lamenting.
_] She had better stay here and be of some help.
She has only just got home and now she leaves me.
But nobody thinks of me.
Nobody knows what I suffer.
I am frightened out of my wits.
I have such tremblings and flutterings all over me--such spasms in my side--and pains in my head, and such beatings at my heart.
Oh, I can get no rest by night or by day!
[_To_ HILL.
] You might try and do something, Hill.
Where is my soothing draught?
HILL.
[_Looking.
_] Here, Madam.
No, I must have left it in your room.
I will run fetch it.
[_She goes out quickly.
_] JANE.
[_Who has been looking off toward the driveway during part of this tirade.
_] Oh, mamma--mamma!
Lizzy's running up the drive.
She is smiling!
She has some good news, I am sure.
MRS.
BENNET.
Take care, Jane.
You are exciting me.
Oh, my poor nerves.
[ELIZABETH _enters, breathless.
She has a letter in her hand.
_] ELIZABETH.
Oh, good news--good news, Jane!
--mamma!
They are married!
JANE.
Oh, Lizzy--Lizzy!
MRS.
BENNET.
You are sure, Lizzy?
Don't excite me.
You are sure?
ELIZABETH.
[_Half laughing and half crying.
_] Oh, yes, 'tis certain.
My dear Aunt Gardiner has written me all about it.
They are really married!
Oh, how good my uncle is!
[_She kisses the letter.
_] MRS.
BENNET.
Oh, Jane--Oh, Lizzy!
My dear, dear Lydia!
She is really married!
I shall see her again!
Oh, my good, kind brother!
But how did it happen, Lizzy?
JANE.
Yes, tell us all about it.
Let me read it.
[_She reaches for the letter.
_] ELIZABETH.
[_Keeping the letter.
_] No, I will tell you.
Well, my father and my uncle succeeded in finding Lydia.
My aunt does not tell me just how it was done.
MRS.
BENNET.
[_Triumphantly.
_] And your father found that they were married after all.
I told him---- ELIZABETH.
No, mamma.
They were not married, and they had no idea of being--but my father and uncle insisted upon it.
They took Lydia away at once to my aunt's house and from there, they were married only yesterday at St. Clement's Church.
MRS.
BENNET.
St. Clement's--fine!
ELIZABETH.
My dear good uncle has arranged to have all Mr. Wickham's debts paid and my father is to settle an allowance on Lydia.
JANE.
But where are they?
What are they going to do?
ELIZABETH.
My father is coming home at once.
He may be here at any moment.
At first he would not consent to let Lydia and Wickham come to us, but my aunt and uncle urged it--and my father knew how anxious mamma would be--and so _they_ are coming here too.
JANE.
At once?
ELIZABETH.
Yes, directly, to-day.
MRS.
BENNET.
Oh, my dear Lydia!
How I long to see her, and to see my dear Wickham too.
But the clothes, the wedding clothes!
I must write to my Sister Gardiner about them directly.
[_She tries to get out of the chair.
_] JANE.
Oh, mamma, there is plenty of time for that.
MRS.
BENNET.
Well, perhaps so.
My dear, dear Lydia!
How merry we shall all be together!
I am so happy!
Lydia married.
She is Mrs. Wickham.
How well it sounds.
My dear Jane, I must see about the clothes.
We will settle with your father about the money later.
Oh, I am in such a flutter!
Here comes Hill.
[HILL _enters with the bottle_.
] My dear Hill, have you heard the news?
Miss Lydia is married and is coming home directly.
HILL.
Indeed!
MRS.
BENNET.
Yes, you shall all have a bowl of punch, to make merry for her wedding, and I am going into the house to write about the clothes.
[_To_ JANE, _who is going with her_.
] No, Jane, you stay where you are.
I know what I am about.
Come, Hill.
Think of it--Mrs. Wickham!
[_She goes out leaning on_ HILL'S _arm, leaving_ JANE and ELIZABETH together.
] JANE.
Oh, Lizzy, how relieved and happy we should be.
Is not it wonderful?
[_Anxiously.
_] Are you sure it is true?
Have you told us all?
ELIZABETH.
Yes, Jane, it is true.
They are really married.
And for this we are to be thankful.
In spite of Lydia's folly and Wickham's wretched character, we are to rejoice.
How strange it is!
Heigh-ho!
JANE.
[_Putting out her hand for the letter which_ ELIZABETH _still carries_.
] May not I read the letter, Lizzy?
ELIZABETH.
No, not now, dear.
My aunt has some queer notions in her head.
Later perhaps.
[_After a pause.
_] I am very sorry now that in my agitation I told Mr. Darcy about this wretched affair.
Now that it has come out so well, he need never have known anything about it, and it would have saved me a great deal of mortification.
JANE.
But how would you ever have explained things to Charlotte and Mr. Collins without his help?
Mr. Darcy made everything so smooth and plausible for your sudden departure.
ELIZABETH.
Yes, that is true.
JANE.
Really, Lizzy, I think I shall have to take up the cudgels in Mr. Darcy's defence.
His kindness to you has quite won my heart, and his amazing proposal was certainly a most flattering compliment.
Why can you see no good in Mr. Darcy, Lizzy?
You were always so full of excuses for Wickham, though it is true his open and delightful manners deceived us all.
ELIZABETH.
Yes, there certainly was some great mismanagement in the education of those two young men.
One has all the goodness and the other all the appearance of it.
JANE.
I never thought Mr. Darcy so deficient in the appearance of it as you did, and he certainly could hardly have had the friends he has if he did not possess some good qualities.
[_Shyly.
_] Lizzy, have you heard that Mr. Bingley is back in Netherfield?
ELIZABETH.
[_Astonished.
_] Oh, Jane, no. When did he come?
Have you seen him?
JANE.
No; I hardly expect to see him.
ELIZABETH.
[_Brightly.
_] Yes, you will, if he has returned.
[_Suddenly clapping her hands.
_] Oh, I understand.
[_Kissing her.
_] My darling Jane, you are going to be very happy!
JANE.
Lizzy dear--don't, don't. That is all over now, and besides I don't want to be happy unless you can be, too.
ELIZABETH.
Oh, forty Mr. Bingleys wouldn't make me happy.
Till I have your disposition, I never can have happiness.
No, no, let me shift for myself.
Perhaps if I have very good luck I may meet with another Mr. Collins in time.
HARRIS.
[_Entering.
_] Mr. Bennet has returned, Madam, and is looking for you.
JANE.
Papa returned!
ELIZABETH.
Where is he, Harris?
[_Looking off.
_] There he comes!
Papa!
[_They run to meet_ MR. BENNET, _and, bringing him in, seat him in a garden chair, one on either side of him_.
] ELIZABETH.
Papa, tell us all about it quickly--quickly.
JANE.
Are they really married, papa?
MR.
BENNET.
Yes, that misfortune is well settled on them.
They are married fast enough.
ELIZABETH.
And where are they?
When will they be here?
MR.
BENNET.
I should say they would be here directly.
I didn't care to travel with them, but they are not far behind--only just far enough to keep out of the dust of my post chaise.
ELIZABETH.
Dear papa--how you must have suffered!
MR.
BENNET.
