Japanese Girls and Women — Childhood part 1

CHILDHOOD.

To the Japanese baby the beginning of life is not very different from its beginning to babies in the Western world.

Its birth, whether it be girl or boy, is the cause of much rejoicing.

As boys alone can carry on the family name and inherit titles and estates, they are considered of more importance, but many parents' hearts are made glad by the addition of a daughter to the family circle.

As soon as the event takes place, a special messenger is dispatched to notify relatives and intimate friends, while formal letters of announcement are sent to those less closely related.

All persons thus notified must make an early visit to the newcomer, in order to welcome it into the world, and must either take with them or send before them some present.

Toys, pieces of cotton, silk, or crêpe for the baby's dress are regarded as suitable; and everything must be accompanied by fish or eggs, for good luck.

Where eggs are sent, they are neatly arranged in a covered box, which may contain thirty, forty, or even one hundred eggs.

[1] The baby, especially if it be the first one in a family, receives many presents in the first few weeks of its life, and at a certain time proper acknowledgment must be made and return presents sent.

This is done when the baby is about thirty days old.

[1] All presents in Japan must be wrapped in white paper, although, except for funerals, this paper must have some writing on it, and must be tied with a peculiar red and white paper string, in which is inserted the _noshi_, or bit of dried fish, daintily folded in a piece of colored paper, which is an indispensable accompaniment of every present.

Both baby and mother have a hard time of it for the first few weeks of its life.

The baby is passed from hand to hand, fussed over, and talked to so much by the visitors that come in, that it must think this world a trying place.

The mother, too, is denied the rest and quiet she needs, and wears herself out in the excitement of seeing her friends, and the physical exercise of going through, so far as possible, the ceremonious bows and salutations that etiquette prescribes.

Before the seventh day the baby receives its name.

[2] There is no especial ceremony connected with this, but the child's birth must be formally registered, together with its name, at the district office of registration, and the household keep holiday in honor of the event.

A

certain kind of rice, cooked with red beans, a festival dish denoting good fortune, is usually partaken of by the family on the seventh day.

[2] A child is rarely given the name of a living member of the family, or of any friend.

The father's name, slightly modified, is frequently given to a son, and those of ancestors long ago dead are sometimes used.

One reason for this is probably the inconvenience of similar names in the same family, and middle names, as a way of avoiding this difficulty, are unknown.

The father usually names the child, but some friend or patron of the family may be asked to do it.

Names of beautiful objects in nature, such as Plum, Snow, Sunshine, Lotos, Gold, are commonly used for girls, while boys of the lower classes often rejoice in such appellations as Stone, Bear, Tiger, etc. To call a child after a person would not be considered any especial compliment.

[*3] The next important event in the baby's life is the _miya mairi_, a ceremony which corresponds roughly with our christening.

On the thirtieth day after birth,[*4] the baby is taken for its first visit to the temple.

For this visit great preparations are made, and the baby is dressed in finest silk or crêpe, gayly figured,--garments made especially for the occasion.

Upon the dress appears in various places the crest of the family, as on all ceremonial dresses, whether for young or old, for every Japanese family has its crest.

Thus arrayed, and accompanied by members of the family, the young baby is carried to one of the Shinto temples, and there placed under the protection of the patron deity of the temple.

This god, chosen from a great number of Shinto deities, is supposed to become the special guardian of the child through life.

Offerings are made to the god and to the priest, and a blessing is obtained; and the baby is thus formally placed under the care of a special deity.

This ceremony over, there is usually an entertainment of some kind at the home of the parents, especially if the family be one of high rank.

Friends are invited, and if there are any who have not as yet sent in presents, they may give them at this time.

It is usually on this day that the family send to their friends some acknowledgment of the presents received.

This sometimes consists of the red bean rice, such as is prepared for the seventh day celebration, and sometimes of cakes of _mochi_, or rice paste.

A letter of thanks usually accompanies the return present.

If rice is sent, it is put in a handsome lacquered box, the box placed on a lacquered tray, and the whole covered with a square of crêpe or silk, richly decorated.

The box, the tray, and the cover are of course returned, and, curious to say, the box must be returned unwashed, as it would be very unlucky to send it back clean.

A

piece of Japanese paper must be slipped into the box after its contents have been removed, and box and tray must be given back, just as they are, to the messenger.

Sometimes a box of eggs, or a peculiar kind of dried fish, called _katsuobushi_, is sent with this present, when it is desired to make an especially handsome return.

When as many as fifty or one hundred return presents of this kind are to be sent, it is no slight tax on the mistress of the house to see that no one is forgotten, and that all is properly done.

As special messengers are sent, a number of men are sometimes kept busy for two or three days.

After all these festivities, a quiet, undisturbed life begins for the baby,--a life which is neither unpleasant nor unhealthful.

It is not jolted, rocked, or trotted to sleep; it is allowed to cry if it chooses, without anybody's supposing that the world will come to an end because of its crying; and its dress is loose and easily put on, so that very little time is spent in the tiresome process of dressing and undressing.

Under these conditions the baby thrives and grows strong and fat; learns to take life with some philosophy, even at a very early age; and is not subject to fits of hysterical or passionate crying, brought on by much jolting or trotting, or by the wearisome process of pinning, buttoning, tying of strings, and thrusting of arms into tight sleeves.

The Japanese baby's dress, though not as pretty as that of our babies, is in many ways much more sensible.

It consists of as many wide-sleeved, straight, silk, cotton, or flannel garments as the season of the year may require,--all cut after nearly the same pattern, and that pattern the same in shape as the grown-up _kimono_.

These garments are fitted, one inside of the other, before they are put on; then they are laid down on the floor and the baby is laid into them; a soft belt, attached to the outer garment or dress, is tied around the waist, and the baby is dressed without a shriek or a wail, as simply and easily as possible.

The baby's dresses, like those of our babies, are made long enough to cover the little bare feet; and the sleeves cover the hands as well, so preventing the unmerciful scratching that most babies give to their faces, as well as keeping the hands warm and dry.

Babies of the lower classes, within a few weeks after birth, are carried about tied upon the back of some member of the family, frequently an older sister or brother, who is sometimes not more than five or six years old.

The poorer the family, the earlier is the young baby thus put on some one's back, and one frequently sees babies not more than a month old, with bobbing heads and blinking eyes, tied by long bands of cloth to the backs of older brothers or sisters, and living in the streets in all weathers.

When it is cold, the sister's _haori_, or coat, serves as an extra covering for the baby as well; and when the sun is hot, the sister's parasol keeps off its rays from the bobbing bald head.

[*8] Living in public, as the Japanese babies do, they soon acquire an intelligent, interested look, and seem to enjoy the games of the elder children, upon whose backs they are carried, as much as the players themselves.

Babies of the middle classes do not live in public in this way, but ride about upon the backs of their nurses until they are old enough to toddle by themselves, and they are not so often seen in the streets; as few but the poorest Japanese, even in the large cities, are unable to have a pleasant bit of garden in which the children can play and take the air.

The children of the richest families, the nobility, and the imperial family, are never carried about in this way.

The young child is borne in the arms of an attendant, within doors and without;

but as this requires the care of some one constantly, and prevents the nurse from doing anything but care for the child, only the richest can afford this luxury.

With the baby tied to her back, a woman is able to care for a child, and yet go on with her household labors, and baby watches over mother's or nurse's shoulder, between naps taken at all hours, the processes of drawing water, washing and cooking rice, and all the varied work of the house.

Imperial babies are held in the arms of some one night and day, from the moment of birth until they have learned to walk, a custom which seems to render the lot of the high-born infant less comfortable in some ways than that of the plebeian child.

The flexibility of the knees, which is required for comfort in the Japanese method of sitting, is gained in very early youth by the habit of setting a baby down with its knees bent under it, instead of with its legs out straight before it, as seems to us the natural way.

To the Japanese, the normal way for a baby to sit is with its knees bent under it, and so, at a very early age, the muscles and tendons of the knees are accustomed to what seems to us a most unnatural and uncomfortable posture.

[3] [3] That the position of the Japanese in sitting is really unnatural and unhygienic, is shown by recent measurements taken by the surgeons of the Japanese army.

These measurements prove that the small stature of the Japanese is due largely to the shortness of the lower limbs, which are out of proportion to the rest of the body.

The sitting from early childhood upon the legs bent at the knee, arrests the development of that part of the body, and produces an actual deformity in the whole nation.

This deformity is less noticeable among the peasants, who stand and walk so much as to secure proper development of the legs; but among merchants, literary men, and others of sedentary habits, it is most plainly to be seen.

The introduction of chairs and tables, as a necessary adjunct of Japanese home life, would doubtless in time alter the physique of the Japanese as a people.

Among the lower classes, where there are few bathing facilities in the houses, babies of a few weeks old are often taken to the public bath house and put into the hot bath.

These Japanese baths are usually heated to a temperature of a hundred to a hundred and twenty Fahrenheit,--a temperature that most foreigners visiting Japan find almost unbearable.

To a baby's delicate skin, the first bath or two is usually a severe trial, but it soon becomes accustomed to the high temperature, and takes its bath, as it does everything else, placidly and in public.

Born into a country where cow's milk is never used, the Japanese baby is wholly dependent upon its mother for milk,[4] and is not weaned entirely until it reaches the age of three or four years, and is able to live upon the ordinary food of the class to which it belongs.

There is no intermediate stage of bread and milk, oatmeal and milk, gruel, or pap of some kind;

for the all-important factor--milk--is absent from the bill of fare, in a land where there is neither "milk for babes" nor "strong meat for them that are full of age."

[4] Sometimes, in the old days, rice water was given to babies instead of milk, but it was nearly impossible to bring up a baby on this alone.

Now both fresh and condensed milk are used, where the mother's milk is insufficient, but only in those parts of Japan where the foreign influence is felt.

[*11] In consequence, partly, of the lack of proper nourishment after the child is too old to live wholly upon its mother's milk, and partly, perhaps, because of the poor food that the mothers, even of the higher classes, live upon, many babies in Japan are afflicted with disagreeable skin troubles, especially of the scalp and face,--troubles which usually disappear as soon as the child becomes accustomed to the regular food of the adult.

Another consequence, as I imagine, of the lack of proper food at the teething period, is the early loss of the child's first teeth, which usually turn black and decay some time before the second teeth begin to show themselves.

With the exception of these two troubles, Japanese babies seem healthy, hearty, and happy to an extraordinary degree, and show that most of the conditions of their lives are wholesome.

The constant out-of-door life and the healthful dress serve to make up in considerable measure for the poor food, and the Japanese baby, though small after the manner of the race, is usually plump, and of firm, hard flesh.

One striking characteristic of the Japanese baby is, that at a very early age it learns to cling like a kitten to the back of whoever carries it, so that it is really difficult to drop it through carelessness, for the baby looks out for its own safety like a young monkey.

The straps that tie it to the back are sufficient for safety; but the baby, from the age of one month, is dependent upon its own exertions to secure a comfortable position, and it soon learns to ride its bearer with considerable skill, instead of being merely a bundle tied to the shoulders.

Any one who has ever handled a Japanese baby can testify to the amount of intelligence shown in this direction at a very early age; and this clinging with arms and legs is, perhaps, a valuable part of the training which gives to the whole nation the peculiar quickness of motion and hardness of muscle that characterize them from childhood.

It is the agility and muscular quality that belong to wild animals, that we see something of in the Indian, but to a more marked degree in the Japanese, especially of the lower classes.

The Japanese baby's first lessons in walking are taken under favorable circumstances.

With feet comfortably shod in the soft _tabi_, or mitten-like sock, babies can tumble about as they like, with no bump nor bruise, upon the soft matted floors of the dwelling houses.

There is no furniture to fall against, and nothing about the room to render falling a thing to be feared.

After learning the art of walking in the house, the baby's first attempts out of doors are hampered by the _zori_ or _géta_,--a light straw sandal or small wooden clog attached to the foot by a strap passing between the toes.

At the very beginning the sandal or clog is tied to the baby's foot by bits of string fastened around the ankle, but this provision for security is soon discarded, and the baby patters along like the grown people, holding on the _géta_ by the strap passing between the toes.

This somewhat cumbersome and inconvenient foot gear must cause many falls at first, but baby's experience in the art of balancing upon people's backs now aids in this new art of balancing upon the little wooden clogs.

Babies of two or three trot about quite comfortably in _géta_ that seem to give most insecure footing, and older children run, jump, hop on one foot, and play all manner of active games upon heavy clogs that would wrench our ankles and toes out of all possibility of usefulness.

This foot gear, while producing an awkward, shuffling gait, has certain advantages over our own, especially for children whose feet are growing rapidly.

The _géta_, even if outgrown, can never cramp the toes nor compress the ankles.

If the foot is too long for the clog the heel laps over behind, but the toes do not suffer, and the use of the _géta_ strengthens the ankles by affording no artificial aid or support, and giving to all the muscles of foot and leg free play, with the foot in a natural position.

The toes of the Japanese retain their prehensile qualities to a surprising degree, and are used, not only for grasping the foot gear, but among mechanics almost like two supplementary hands, to aid in holding the thing worked upon.

Each toe knows its work and does it, and they are not reduced to the dull uniformity of motion that characterizes the toes of a leather-shod nation.

The distinction between the dress of the boy and the girl, that one notices from childhood, begins in babyhood.

A very young baby wears red and yellow, but soon the boy is dressed in sober colors,--blues, grays, greens, and browns; while the little girl still wears the most gorgeous of colors and the largest of patterns in her garments, red being the predominant hue.

The sex, even of a young baby, may be distinguished by the color of its clothing.

White, the garb of mourning in Japan, is never used for children, but the minutest babies are dressed in bright-colored garments, and of the same materials--wadded cotton, silk, or crêpe--as those worn by adults of their social grade.

As these dresses are not as easily washed as our own cambric and flannel baby clothes, there is a loss among the poorer classes in the matter of cleanliness; and the gorgeous soiled gowns are not as attractive as the more washable white garments in which our babies are dressed.

For model clothing for a baby, I would suggest a combination of the Japanese style with the foreign, easily washed materials,--a combination that I have seen used in their own families by Japanese ladies educated abroad, and one in which the objections to the Japanese style of dress are entirely obviated.

The Japanese baby begins to practice the accomplishment of talking at a very early age, for its native language is singularly happy in easy expressions for children; and little babies will be heard chattering away in soft, easily spoken words long before they are able to venture alone from their perches on their mothers' or nurses' backs.

A few simple words express much, and cover all wants.

_Iya_ expresses discontent or dislike of any kind, and is also used for "no"; _mam ma_ means food; _bé bé_ is the dress; _ta ta_ is the sock, or house shoe, etc. We find many of the same sounds as in the baby language of English, with meanings totally different.

The baby is not troubled with difficult grammatical changes, for the Japanese language has few inflections; and it is too young to be puzzled with the intricacies of the various expressions denoting different degrees of politeness, which are the snare and the despair of the foreigner studying Japanese.

As our little girl emerges from babyhood she finds the life opening before her a bright and happy one, but one hedged about closely by the proprieties, and one in which, from babyhood to old age, she must expect to be always under the control of one of the stronger sex.

Her position will be an honorable and respected one only as she learns in her youth the lesson of cheerful obedience, of pleasing manners, and of personal cleanliness and neatness.

Her duties must be always either within the house, or, if she belongs to the peasant class, on the farm.

There is no career or vocation open to her: she must be dependent always upon either father, husband, or son, and her greatest happiness is to be gained, not by cultivation of the intellect, but by the early acquisition of the self-control which is expected of all Japanese women to an even greater degree than of the men.

This self-control must consist, not simply in the concealment of all the outward signs of any disagreeable emotion,--whether of grief, anger, or pain,--but in the assumption of a cheerful smile and agreeable manner under even the most distressing of circumstances.

The duty of self-restraint is taught to the little girls of the family from the tenderest years; it is their great moral lesson, and is expatiated upon at all times by their elders.

The little girl must sink herself entirely, must give up always to others, must never show emotions except such as will be pleasing to those about her: this is the secret of true politeness, and must be mastered if the woman wishes to be well thought of and to lead a happy life.

The effect of this teaching is seen in the attractive but dignified manners of the Japanese women, and even of the very little girls.

They are not forward nor pushing, neither are they awkwardly bashful; there is no self-consciousness, neither is there any lack of _savoir faire_; a childlike simplicity is united with a womanly consideration for the comfort of those around them.

A Japanese child seems to be the product of a more perfect civilization than our own, for it comes into the world with little of the savagery and barbarian bad manners that distinguish children in this country, and the first ten or fifteen years of its life do not seem to be passed in one long struggle to acquire a coating of good manners that will help to render it less obnoxious in polite society.

How much of the politeness of the Japanese is the result of training, and how much is inherited from generations of civilized ancestors, it is difficult to tell; but my impression is, that babies are born into the world with a good start in the matter of manners, and that the uniformly gentle and courteous treatment that they receive from those about them, together with the continual verbal teaching of the principle of self-restraint and thoughtfulness of others, produce with very little difficulty the universally attractive manners of the people.

One curious thing in a Japanese household is to see the formalities that pass between brothers and sisters, and the respect paid to age by every member of the family.

The grandfather and grandmother come first of all in everything,--no one at table must be helped before them in any case;

after them come the father and mother; and lastly, the children according to their ages.

A younger sister must always wait for the elder and pay her due respect, even in the matter of walking into the room before her.

The wishes and convenience of the elder, rather than of the younger, are to be consulted in everything, and this lesson must be learned early by children.

The difference in years may be slight, but the elder-born has the first right in all cases.