Life of Samuel Johnson, Vol. II (version 2) — Section 19

'Of the late Mr. Mallet he spoke with no great respect: said, he was ready for any dirty job: that he had wrote against Byng at the instigation of the ministry[377], and was equally ready to write for him, provided he found his account in it.

'A gentleman who had been very unhappy in marriage, married immediately after his wife died: Johnson said, it was the triumph of hope over experience.

'He observed, that a man of sense and education should meet a suitable companion in a wife[378].

It was a miserable thing when the conversation could only be such as, whether the mutton should be boiled or roasted, and probably a dispute about that.

'He did not approve of late marriages, observing that more was lost in point of time, than compensated for by any possible advantages[379].

Even ill assorted marriages were preferable to cheerless celibacy.

'Of old Sheridan he remarked, that he neither wanted parts nor literature; but that his vanity and Quixotism obscured his merits.

'He said, foppery was never cured; it was the bad stamina of the mind, which, like those of the body, were never rectified: once a coxcomb, and always a coxcomb.

'Being told that Gilbert Cowper called him the Caliban of literature;

"Well, (said he,) I must dub him the Punchinello[380]."

'Speaking of the old Earl of Corke and Orrery, he said, "that man spent his life in catching at an object, [literary eminence,] which he had not power to grasp[381]."

'To find a substitution for violated morality, he said, was the leading feature in all perversions of religion.'

'He often used to quote, with great pathos, those fine lines of Virgil: 'Optima quaeque dies miseris mortalibus aevi Prima fugit[382]; subeunt morbi, tristisque senectus, Et labor, et durae rapit inclementia mortis[383].'

'Speaking of Homer, whom he venerated as the prince of poets, Johnson remarked that the advice given to Diomed[384] by his father, when he sent him to the Trojan war, was the noblest exhortation that could be instanced in any heathen writer, and comprised in a single line: [Greek: Aien aristeuein, kai hupeirochon emmenai allon ] which, if I recollect well, is translated by Dr. Clarke thus: _semper appetere praestantissima, et omnibus aliis antecellere_.

'He observed, "it was a most mortifying reflexion for any man to consider, _what he had done_, compared with what _he might have done_."

'He said few people had intellectual resources sufficient to forego the pleasures of wine.

They could not otherwise contrive how to fill the interval between dinner and supper.

'He went with me, one Sunday, to hear my old Master, Gregory Sharpe[385], preach at the Temple.

In the prefatory prayer, Sharpe ranted about _Liberty_, as a blessing most fervently to be implored, and its continuance prayed for.

Johnson observed, that our _liberty_ was in no sort of danger:--he would have done much better, to pray against our _licentiousness_.

'One evening at Mrs. Montagu's, where a splendid company was assembled, consisting of the most eminent literary characters, I thought he seemed highly pleased with the respect and attention that were shewn him, and asked him on our return home if he was not highly _gratified_ by his visit: "No, Sir, (said he) not highly _gratified_; yet I do not recollect to have passed many evenings _with fewer objections_."

'Though of no high extraction himself, he had much respect for birth and family, especially among ladies.

He said, "adventitious accomplishments may be possessed by all ranks; but one may easily distinguish the _born gentlewoman_."

'He said, "the poor in England[386] were better provided for, than in any other country of the same extent: he did not mean little Cantons, or petty Republicks.

Where a great proportion of the people (said he,) are suffered to languish in helpless misery, that country must be ill policed, and wretchedly governed: a decent provision for the poor, is the true test of civilization.

--Gentlemen of education, he observed, were pretty much the same in all countries; the condition of the lower orders, the poor especially, was the true mark of national discrimination."

'When the corn laws were in agitation in Ireland, by which that country has been enabled not only to feed itself, but to export corn to a large amount[387]; Sir Thomas Robinson[388] observed, that those laws might be prejudicial to the corn-trade of England.

"Sir Thomas, (said he,) you talk the language of a savage: what, Sir?

would you prevent any people from feeding themselves, if by any honest means they can do it[389]."

'It being mentioned, that Garrick assisted Dr. Brown, the authour of the _Estimate_[390], in some dramatick composition, "No, Sir, (said Johnson,) he would no more suffer Garrick to write a line in his play, than he would suffer him to mount his pulpit."

'Speaking of Burke, he said, "It was commonly observed, he spoke too often in parliament; but nobody could say he did not speak well, though too frequently and too familiarly[391]."

'Speaking of economy, he remarked, it was hardly worth while to save anxiously twenty pounds a year.

If a man could save to that degree, so as to enable him to assume a different rank in society, then indeed, it might answer some purpose.

'He observed, a principal source of erroneous judgement was, viewing things partially and only on _one side_: as for instance, _fortune-hunters_, when they contemplated the fortunes _singly_ and _separately_, it was a dazzling and tempting object; but when they came to possess the wives and their fortunes _together_, they began to suspect that they had not made quite so good a bargain.

'Speaking of the late Duke of Northumberland living very magnificently when Lord Lieutenant of Ireland, somebody remarked it would be difficult to find a suitable successor to him: then exclaimed Johnson, _he is only fit to succeed himself_[392].

'He advised me, if possible, to have a good orchard.

He knew, he said, a clergyman of small income, who brought up a family very reputably which he chiefly fed with apple dumplings.

'He said, he had known several good scholars among the Irish gentlemen;

but scarcely any of them correct in _quantity_.

He extended the same observation to Scotland.

'Speaking of a certain Prelate, who exerted himself very laudably in building churches and parsonage-houses; "however, said he, I do not find that he is esteemed a man of much professional learning, or a liberal patron of it;--yet, it is well, where a man possesses any strong positive excellence.

--Few have all kinds of merit belonging to their character.

We must not examine matters too deeply--No, Sir, a _fallible being will fail somewhere_."

'Talking of the Irish clergy, he said, Swift was a man of great parts, and the instrument of much good to his country[393].

--Berkeley was a profound scholar, as well as a man of fine imagination; but Usher, he said, was the great luminary of the Irish church; and a greater, he added, no church could boast of; at least in modern times.

'We dined _tA¬te A tA¬te_ at the Mitre, as I was preparing to return to Ireland, after an absence of many years.

I regretted much leaving London, where I had formed many agreeable connexions: "Sir, (said he,) I don't wonder at it; no man, fond of letters, leaves London without regret.

But remember, Sir, you have seen and enjoyed a great deal;--you have seen life in its highest decorations, and the world has nothing new to exhibit.

No man is so well qualifyed to leave publick life as he who has long tried it and known it well.

We are always hankering after untried situations, and imagining greater felicity from them than they can afford.

No, Sir, knowledge and virtue may be acquired in all countries, and your local consequence will make you some amends for the intellectual gratifications you relinquish."

Then he quoted the following lines with great pathos:-- "He who has early known the pomps of state, (For things unknown, 'tis ignorance to condemn;)

And after having viewed the gaudy bait, Can boldly say, the trifle I contemn;

With such a one contented could I live, Contented could I die[394];"--