Life of Samuel Johnson, Vol. II (version 2) — Section 48

On Saturday, May 8[1039], I dined with him at Mr. Thrale's, where we met the Irish Dr. Campbell[1040].

Johnson had supped the night before at Mrs. Abington's, with some fashionable people whom he named; and he seemed much pleased with having made one in so elegant a circle.

Nor did he omit to pique his _mistress_[1041] a little with jealousy of her housewifery; for he said, (with a smile,) 'Mrs. Abington's jelly, my dear Lady, was better than yours.'

Mrs. Thrale, who frequently practised a coarse mode of flattery, by repeating his _bon-mots_ in his hearing[1042], told us that he had said, a certain celebrated actor was just fit to stand at the door of an auction-room with a long pole, and cry 'Pray gentlemen, walk in;' and that a certain authour, upon hearing this, had said, that another still more celebrated actor was fit for nothing better than that, and would pick your pocket after you came out[1043].

JOHNSON.

'Nay, my dear lady, there is no wit in what our friend added; there is only abuse.

You may as well say of any man that he will pick a pocket.

Besides, the man who is stationed at the door does not pick people's pockets; that is done within, by the auctioneer.'

Mrs. Thrale told us, that Tom Davies repeated, in a very bald manner, the story of Dr. Johnson's first repartee to me, which I have related exactly[1044].

He made me say, 'I was _born_ in Scotland,' instead of 'I _come from_ Scotland;' so that Johnson saying, 'That, Sir, is what a great many of your countrymen cannot help,' had no point, or even meaning: and that upon this being mentioned to Mr. Fitzherbert, he observed, 'It is not every man that can _carry_ a _bon mot_.'

On Monday, April 10, I dined with him at General Oglethorpe's, with Mr. Langton and the Irish Dr. Campbell, whom the General had obligingly given me leave to bring with me.

This learned gentleman was thus gratified with a very high intellectual feast, by not only being in company with Dr. Johnson, but with General Oglethorpe, who had been so long a celebrated name both at home and abroad[1045].

I must, again and again, intreat of my readers not to suppose that my imperfect record of conversation contains the whole of what was said by Johnson, or other eminent persons who lived with him.

What I have preserved, however, has the value of the most perfect authenticity.

He this day enlarged upon Pope's melancholy remark, 'Man never _is_, but always _to be_ blest[1046].'

He asserted that _the present_ was never a happy state to any human being; but that, as every part of life, of which we are conscious, was at some point of time a period yet to come, in which felicity was expected, there was some happiness produced by hope[1047].

Being pressed upon this subject, and asked if he really was of opinion, that though, in general, happiness was very rare in human life, a man was not sometimes happy in the moment that was present, he answered, 'Never, but when he is drunk[1048].'

He urged General Oglethorpe to give the world his Life.

He said, 'I know no man whose Life would be more interesting.

If I were furnished with materials, I should be very glad to write it[1049].'

Mr. Scott[1050] of Amwell's _Elegies_ were lying in the room.

Dr. Johnson observed, 'They are very well; but such as twenty people might write.'

Upon this I took occasion to controvert Horace's maxim, '--mediocribus esse poetis Non Di, non homines, non concessA(C)re columnA|.

[1051]' For here, (I observed,) was a very middle-rate poet, who pleased many readers, and therefore poetry of a middle sort was entitled to some esteem; nor could I see why poetry should not, like every thing else, have different gradations of excellence, and consequently of value.

Johnson repeated the common remark, that, 'as there is no necessity for our having poetry at all, it being merely a luxury, an instrument of pleasure, it can have no value, unless when exquisite in its kind.'

I

declared myself not satisfied.

'Why then, Sir, (said he,) Horace and you must settle it.'

He was not much in the humour of talking.

No more of his conversation for some days appears in my journal[1052], except that when a gentleman told him he had bought a suit of lace for his lady, he said, 'Well, Sir, you have done a good thing and a wise thing.'

'I have done a good thing, (said the gentleman,) but I do not know that I have done a wise thing.'

JOHNSON.

'Yes, Sir; no money is better spent than what is laid out for domestick satisfaction.

A man is pleased that his wife is drest as well as other people; and a wife is pleased that she is drest.'

On Friday, April 14, being Good-Friday, I repaired to him in the morning, according to my usual custom on that day, and breakfasted with him.

I observed that he fasted so very strictly[1053], that he did not even taste bread, and took no milk with his tea; I suppose because it is a kind of animal food.

He entered upon the state of the nation, and thus discoursed: 'Sir, the great misfortune now is, that government has too little power.

All that it has to bestow must of necessity be given to support itself; so that it cannot reward merit.

No man, for instance, can now be made a Bishop for his learning and piety[1054]; his only chance for promotion is his being connected with somebody who has parliamentary interest.

Our several ministries in this reign have outbid each other in concessions to the people.

Lord Bute, though a very honourable man,--a man who meant well,--a man who had his blood full of prerogative,--was a theoretical statesman,--a book-minister[1055],--and thought this country could be governed by the influence of the Crown alone.

Then, Sir, he gave up a great deal.

He advised the King to agree that the Judges should hold their places for life, instead of losing them at the accession of a new King.

Lord Bute, I suppose, thought to make the King popular by this concession; but the people never minded it; and it was a most impolitick measure.

There is no reason why a Judge should hold his office for life, more than any other person in publick trust.

A Judge may be partial otherwise than to the Crown: we have seen Judges partial to the populace[1056].

A Judge may become corrupt, and yet there may not be legal evidence against him.

A Judge may become froward from age.

A Judge may grow unfit for his office in many ways.

It was desirable that there should be a possibility of being delivered from him by a new King.

That is now gone by an act of Parliament _ex gratiAc_ of the Crown[1057].

Lord Bute advised the King to give up a very large sum of money[1058], for which nobody thanked him.

It was of consequence to the King, but nothing to the publick, among whom it was divided.

When I say Lord Bute advised, I mean, that such acts were done when he was minister, and we are to suppose that he advised them.

--Lord Bute shewed an undue partiality to Scotchmen.

He turned out Dr. Nichols[1059], a very eminent man, from being physician to the King, to make room for one of his countrymen, a man very low in his profession[1060].

He had ----[1061] and ----[1062] to go on errands for him.

He had occasion for people to go on errands for him;

but he should not have had Scotchmen; and, certainly, he should not have suffered them to have access to him before the first people in England.'

I told him, that the admission of one of them before the first people in England, which had given the greatest offence, was no more than what happens at every minister's levee, where those who attend are admitted in the order that they have come, which is better than admitting them according to their rank; for if that were to be the rule, a man who has waited all the morning might have the mortification to see a peer, newly come, go in before him, and keep him waiting still.

JOHNSON.

'True, Sir;

but ---- should not have come to the levee, to be in the way of people of consequence.

He saw Lord Bute at all times; and could have said what he had to say at any time, as well as at the levee.

There is now no Prime Minister: there is only an agent for government in the House of Commons[1063].

We are governed by the Cabinet: but there is no one head there since Sir Robert Walpole's time.'

BOSWELL.

'What then, Sir, is the use of Parliament?'

JOHNSON.

'Why, Sir, Parliament is a larger council to the King; and the advantage of such a council is, having a great number of men of property concerned in the legislature, who, for their own interest, will not consent to bad laws.

And you must have observed, Sir, that administration is feeble and timid, and cannot act with that authority and resolution which is necessary.

Were I in power, I would turn out every man who dared to oppose me.

Government has the distribution of offices, that it may be enabled to maintain its authority[1064].'

'Lord Bute (he added,) took down too fast, without building up something new.'

BOSWELL.

'Because, Sir, he found a rotten building.

The political coach was drawn by a set of bad horses: it was necessary to change them.'

JOHNSON.

'But he should have changed them one by one.'

I told him that I had been informed by Mr. Orme[1065], that many parts of the East-Indies were better mapped than the Highlands of Scotland.

JOHNSON.

'That a country may be mapped, it must be travelled over.'

'Nay, (said I, meaning to laugh with him at one of his prejudices,) can't you say, it is not _worth_ mapping?'