Demos: A Story of English Socialism — Chapter XVI
CHAPTER XVI
Alice reached home again on Christmas Eve.
It was snowing; she came in chilled and looking miserable.
Mrs. Mutimer met her in the hall, passed her, and looked out at the open door, then turned with a few white flecks on her gown.
‘Where’s Dick?
‘He couldn’t come,’ replied the girl briefly, and ran up to her room.
‘Arry was spending the evening with friends.
Since tea-time the old woman had never ceased moving from room to room, up and down stairs.
She had got out an old pair of Richard’s slippers, and had put them before the dining-room fire to warm.
She had made a bed for Richard, and had a fire burning in the chamber.
She had made arrangements for her eldest son’s supper.
No word had come from Wanley, but she held to the conviction that this night would see Richard in London.
Alice came down and declared that she was very hungry.
Her mother went to the kitchen to order a meal, which in the end she prepared with her own hands.
She seemed to have a difficulty in addressing any one.
Whilst Alice ate in silence, Mrs. Mutimer kept going in and out of the room;
when the girl rose from the table, she stood before her and asked: ‘Why couldn’t he come?
’ Alice went to the fireplace, knelt down, and spread her hands to the blaze.
Her mother approached her again.
‘Won’t you give me no answer, Alice?
’ ‘He couldn’t come, mother.
Something important is keeping him.
’ ‘Something important?
And why did he want you there?
’ Alice rose to her feet, made one false beginning, then spoke to the point.
‘Dick’s married, mother.
’ The old woman’s eyes seemed to grow small in her wrinkled face, as if directing themselves with effort upon something minute.
They looked straight into the eyes of her daughter, but had a more distant focus.
The fixed gaze continued for nearly a minute.
‘What are you talking about, girl?
’ she said at length, in a strange, rattling voice.
‘Why, I’ve seen Emma this very morning.
Do you think she wouldn’t ‘a told me if she’d been a wife?
’ Alice was frightened by the look and the voice.
‘Mother, it isn’t Emma at all.
It’s someone at Wanley.
We can’t help it, mother.
It’s no use taking on.
Now sit down and make yourself quiet.
It isn’t our fault.
’ Mrs. Mutimer smiled in a grim way, then laughed--a most unmusical laugh.
‘Now what’s the good o’ joking in that kind o’ way?
That’s like your father, that is; he’d often come ‘ome an’ tell me sich things as never was, an’ expect me to believe ‘em.
An’ I used to purtend I did, jist to please him.
But I’m too old for that kind o’ jokin’.
--Alice, where’s Dick?
How long’ll it be before he’s here?
Where did he leave you?
’ ‘Now do just sit down, mother; here, in this chair.
Just sit quiet for a little, do.
’ Mrs. Mutimer pushed aside the girl’s hand; her face had become grave again.
‘Let me be, child.
And I tell you I have seen Emma to-day.
Do you think she wouldn’t ‘a told me if things o’ that kind was goin’ on?
’ ‘Emma knows nothing about it, mother.
He hasn’t told any one.
He got me to come because he couldn’t tell it himself.
It was as much a surprise to me as to you, and I think it’s very cruel of him.
But it’s over, and we can’t help it.
I shall have to tell Emma, I suppose, and a nice thing too!
’ The old woman had begun to quiver; her hands shook by her sides, her very features trembled with gathering indignation.
‘Dick has gone an’ done this?
’ she stammered.
‘He’s gone an’ broke his given word?
He’s deceived that girl as trusted to him an’ couldn’t help herself?
’ ‘Now, mother, don’t take on so!
You’re going to make yourself ill.
It can’t be helped.
He says he shall send Emma money just the same.
’ ‘Money!
There you’ve hit the word; it’s money as ‘as ruined him, and as ‘ll be the ruin of us all.
Send her money!
What does the man think she’s made of?
Is all his feelings got as hard as money?
and does he think the same of every one else?
If I know Emma, she’ll throw his money in his face.
I knew what ‘ud come of it, don’t tell me I didn’t. That very night as he come ‘ome an’ told me what had ‘appened, there was a cold shiver run over me.
I told him as it was the worst news ever come into our ‘ouse, and now see if I wasn’t right!
He was angry with me ‘cause I said it, an’ who’s a right to be angry now?
It’s my belief as money’s the curse o’ this world; I never knew a trouble yet as didn’t somehow come of it, either ‘cause there was too little or else too much.
And Dick’s gone an’ done this?
And him with all his preachin’ about rights and wrongs an’ what not!
Him as was always a-cryin’ down the rich folks ‘cause they hadn’t no feelin’ for the poor!
What feeling’s _he_ had, I’d like to know?
It’s him as is rich now, an’ where’s the difference ‘tween him and them as he called names?
No feelin’ for the poor!
An’ what’s Emma Vine?
Poor enough by now.
There’s Jane as can’t have not a week more to live, an’ she a-nursin’ her night an’ day.
He’ll give her money!
--has he got the face to say it?
Nay, don’t talk to me, girl; I’ll say what I think if it’s the last I speak in this world.
Don’t let him come to me!
Never a word again shall he have from me as long as I live.
He’s disgraced himself, an’ me his mother, an’ his father in the grave.
A poor girl as couldn’t help herself, as trusted him an’ wouldn’t hear not a word against him, for all he kep’ away from her in her trouble.
I’d a fear o’ this, but I wouldn’t believe it of Dick; I wouldn’t believe it of a son o’ mine.
An’ ‘Arry ‘ll go the same way.
It’s all the money, an a curse go with all the money as ever was made!
An’ you too, Alice, wi’ your fine dresses, an’ your piannerin’, an’ your faldedals.
But I warn you, my girl.
There ‘ll no good come of it.
I warn you, Alice!
You’re ashamed o’ your own mother--oh, I’ve seen it!
But it’s a mercy if you’re not a disgrace to her.
I’m thankful as I was always poor; I might ‘a been tempted i’ the same way.
’ The dogma of a rude nature full of secret forces found utterance at length under the scourge of a resentment of very mingled quality.
Let half be put to the various forms of disinterested feeling, at least half was due to personal exasperation.
The whole change that her life had perforce undergone was an outrage upon the stubbornness of uninstructed habit; the old woman could see nothing but evil omens in a revolution which cost her bodily discomfort and the misery of a mind perplexed amid alien conditions.
She was prepared for evil; for months she had brooded over every sign which seemed to foretell its approach; the egoism of the unconscious had made it plain to her that the world must suffer in a state of things which so grievously affected herself.
Maternal solicitude kept her restlessly swaying between apprehension for her children and injury in the thought of their estrangement from her.
And now at length a bitter shame added itself to her torments.
She was shamed in her pride as a mother, shamed before the girl for whom she nourished a deep affection.
Emma’s injuries she felt charged upon herself; she would never dare to stand before her again.
Her moral code, as much a part of her as the sap of the plant and as little the result of conscious absorption, declared itself on the side of all these rushing impulses; she was borne blindly on an exhaustless flux of words.
After vain attempts to make herself heard, Alice turned away and sat sullenly waiting for the outburst to spend itself.
Herself comparatively unaffected by the feelings strongest in her mother, this ear-afflicting clamour altogether checked her sympathy, and in a great measure overcame those personal reasons which had made her annoyed with Richard.
She found herself taking his side, even knew something of his impatience with Emma and her sorrows.
When it came to rebukes and charges against herself her impatience grew active.
She stood up again and endeavoured to make herself heard.
‘What’s the good of going on like this, mother?
Just because you’re angry, that’s no reason you should call us all the names you can turn your tongue to.
It’s over and done with, and there’s an end of it.
I
don’t know what you mean about disgracing you; I think you might wait till the time comes.
I don’t see what I’ve done as you can complain of.
’ ‘No, of course you don’t,’ pursued her mother bitterly.
‘It’s the money as prevents you from seeing it.
Them as was good enough for you before you haven’t a word to say to now; a man as works honestly for his living you make no account of.
Well, well, you must go your own way--’ ‘What is it you want, mother?
You don’t expect me to look no higher than when I hadn’t a penny but what I worked for?
I’ve no patience with you.
You ought to be glad--’ ‘You haven’t no patience, of course you haven’t. And I’m to be glad when a son of mine does things as he deserves to be sent to prison for!
I
don’t understand that kind o’ gladness.
But mind what I say; do what you like with your money, I’ll have no more part in it.
If I had as much as ten shillings a week of my own, I’d go and live by myself, and leave you to take your own way.
But I tell you what I _can_ do, and what I will.
I’ll have no more servants a-waitin’ on _me_; I wasn’t never used to it, and I’m too old to begin.
I go to my own bedroom upstairs, and there I live, and there ‘ll be nobody go into that room but myself.
I’ll get my bits o’ meals from the kitchen.
‘Tain’t much as I want, thank goodness, an’ it won’t be missed.
I’ll have no more doin’s with servants, understand that; an’ if I can’t be left alone i’ my own room, I’ll go an’ find a room where I can, an’ I’ll find some way of earnin’ what little I want.
It’s your own house, and you’ll do what you like in it.
There’s the keys, I’ve done with ‘em; an’ here’s the money too, I’m glad to be rid of it.
An’ you’ll just tell Dick.
I ain’t one as says what I don’t mean, nor never was, as that you know.
You take your way, an’ I’ll take mine.
An’ now may be I’ll get a night’s sleep, the first I’ve had under this roof.
’ As she spoke she took from her pockets the house keys, and from her purse the money she used for current expenses, and threw all together on to the table.
Alice had turned to the fireplace, and she stood so for a long time after her mother had left the room.
Then she took the keys and the money, consulted her watch, and in a few minutes was walking from the house to a neighbouring cab-stand.
She drove to Wilton Square.
Inspecting the front of the house before knocking at the door, she saw a light in the kitchen and a dimmer gleam at an upper window.
It was Mrs. Clay who opened to her.
‘Is Emma in?
’ Alice inquired as she shook hands rather coldly.
‘She’s sitting with Jane.
I’ll tell her.
There’s no fire except in the kitchen,’ Kate added, in a tone which implied that doubtless her visitor was above taking a seat downstairs.
‘I’ll go down,’ Alice replied, with just a touch of condescension.
‘I want to speak a word or two with Emma, that’s all.
’ Kate left her to descend the stairs, and went to inform her sister.
Emma was not long in appearing; the hue of her face was troubled, for she had deceived herself with the belief that it was Richard who knocked at the door.
What more natural than for him to have come on Christmas Eve?
She approached Alice with a wistful look, not venturing to utter any question, only hoping that some good news might have been brought her.
Long watching in the sick room had given her own complexion the tint of ill-health; her eyelids were swollen and heavy; the brown hair upon her temples seemed to droop in languor.
You would have noticed that her tread was very soft, as if she still were moving in the room above.
‘How’s Jane?
’ Alice began by asking.
She could not quite look the other in the face, and did not know how to begin her disclosure.
‘No better,’ Emma gave answer, shaking her head.
Her voice, too, was suppressed; it was weeks since she had spoken otherwise.
‘I am so sorry, Emma.
Are you in a hurry to go up again?
’ ‘No. Kate will sit there a little.
’ ‘You look very poorly yourself.
It must be very trying for you.
’ ‘I don’t feel it,’ Emma said, with a pale smile.
‘She gives no trouble.
It’s only her weakness now; the pain has almost gone.
’ ‘But then she must be getting better.
’ Emma shook her head, looking aside.
As Alice kept silence, she continued: ‘I was glad to hear you’d gone to see Richard.
He wouldn’t--I was afraid he mightn’t have time to get here for Christmas.
’ There was a question in the words, a timorously expectant question.
Emma had learnt the sad lesson of hope deferred, always to meet discouragement halfway.
It is thus one seeks to propitiate the evil powers, to turn the edge of their blows by meekness.
‘No, he couldn’t come,’ said Alice.
She had a muff on her left hand, and was turning it round and round with the other.
Emma had not asked her to sit down, merely because of the inward agitation which absorbed her.
‘He’s quite well?
’ ‘Oh yes, quite well.
’ Again Alice paused.
Emma’s heart was beating painfully.
She knew now that Richard’s sister had not come on an ordinary visit; she felt that the call to Wanley had had some special significance.
Alice did not ordinarily behave in this hesitating way.
‘Did--did he send me a message?
’ ‘Yes.
’ But even now Alice could not speak.
She found a way of leading up to the catastrophe.
‘Oh, mother has been going on so, Emma!
What do you think?
She won’t have anything to do with the house any longer.
She’s given me the keys and all the money she had, and she’s going to live just in her bedroom.
She says she’ll get her food from the kitchen herself, and she won’t have a thing done for her by any one.
I’m sure she means it; I never saw her in such a state.
She says if she’d ever so little money of her own, she’d leave the house altogether.
She’s been telling me I’ve no feeling, and that I’m going to the bad, that I shall live to disgrace her, and I can’t tell you what.
Everything is so miserable!
She says it’s all the money, and that she knew from the first how it would be.
And I’m afraid some of what she says is true, I am indeed, Emma.
But things happen in a way you could never think.
I half wish myself the money had never come.
It’s making us all miserable.
’ Emma listened, expecting from phrase to phrase some word which would be to her a terrible enlightenment But Alice had ceased, and the word still unspoken.
‘You say he sent me a message?
’ She did not ask directly the cause of Mrs. Mutimer’s anger.
Instinct told her that to hear the message would explain all else.
‘Emma, I’m afraid to tell you.
You’ll blame _me_, like mother did.
’ ‘I shan’t blame you, Alice.
Will you please tell me the message?
’ Emma’s lips seemed to speak without her volition.
The rest o her face was fixed and cold.
‘He’s married, Emma.
’ ‘He asked you to tell me?
’ Alice was surprised at the self-restraint proved by so quiet an interrogation.
‘Yes, he did.
Emma, I’m so, so sorry!
If only you’ll believe I’m sorry, Emma!
He _made_ me come and tell you.
He said if I didn’t you’d have to find out by chance, because he couldn’t for shame tell you himself.
And he couldn’t tell mother neither.
I’ve had it all to do.
If you knew what I’ve gone through with mother!
It’s very hard that other people should suffer so much just on his account.
I am really sorry for you, Emma.
’ ‘Who is it he’s married?
’ Emma asked.
Probably all the last speech had been but a vague murmur to her ears.
‘Some one at Wanley.
’ ‘A lady?
’ ‘Yes, I suppose she’s a lady.
’ ‘You didn’t see her, then?
’ ‘Yes, I saw her.
I don’t like her.
’ Poor Alice meant this to be soothing.
Emma knew it, and smiled.
‘I don’t think she cares much after all,’ Alice said to herself.
‘But was that the message?
’ ‘Only to tell you of it, Emma.
There was something else,’ she added immediately; ‘not exactly a message, but he told me, and I dare say he thought I should let you know.
He said that of course you were to have the money still as usual.
’ Over the listener’s face came a cloud, a deep, turbid red.
It was not anger, but shame which rose from the depths of her being.
Her head sank;
she turned and walked aside.
‘You’re not angry with _me_, Emma?
’ ‘Not angry at all, Alice,’ was the reply in a monotone.
‘I must say good-bye now.
I hope you won t take on much.
And I hope Jane ‘ll soon be better.
’ ‘Thank you.
I must go up to her; she doesn’t like me to be away long.
’ Alice went before up the kitchen stairs, the dark, narrow stairs which now seemed to her so poverty-stricken.
Emma did not speak, but pressed her hand at the door.
Kate stood above her on the first landing, and, as Emma came up, whispered: ‘Has he come?
’ ‘Something has hindered him.
’ And Emma added, ‘He couldn’t help it.
’ ‘Well, then, I think he ought to have helped it,’ said the other tartly.
‘When does he mean to come, I’d like to know?
’ ‘It’s uncertain.
’ Emma passed into the sick-room.
Her sister followed her with eyes of ill-content, then returned to the kitchen.
Jane lay against pillows.
Red light from the fire played over her face, which was wasted beyond recognition.
She looked a handmaiden of Death.
The atmosphere of the room was warm and sickly.
A small green-shaded lamp stood by the looking-glass in front of the window; it cast a disk of light below, and on the ceiling concentric rings of light and shade, which flickered ceaselessly, and were at times all but obliterated in a gleam from the fireplace.
A kettle sang on the trivet.
The sick girl’s hands lay on the counterpane; one of them moved as Emma came to the bedside, and rested when the warmer fingers clasped it.
There was eager inquiry in the sunken eyes; her hand tried to raise itself, but in vain.
‘What did Alice say?
’ she asked, in quick feeble tones.
‘Is he coming?
’ ‘Not for Christmas, I’m afraid, dear.
He’s still very busy.
’ ‘But he sent you a message?
’ ‘Yes.
He would have come if he could.
’ ‘Did you tell Alice I wanted to see her?
Why didn’t she come up?
Why did she stay such a short time?
’ ‘She couldn’t stay to-night, Jane.
Are you easy still, love?
’ ‘Oh, I did so want to see her.
Why couldn’t she stop, Emma?
It wasn’t kind of her to go without seeing me.
I’d have made time if it had been her as was lying in bed.
