Bab Ballads (version 2) — General John

GENERAL JOHN

THE bravest names for fire and flames And all that mortal durst, Were GENERAL JOHN and PRIVATE JAMES, Of the Sixty-seventy-first.

GENERAL JOHN was a soldier tried, A chief of warlike dons;

A haughty stride and a withering pride Were MAJOR-GENERAL JOHN’S. A sneer would play on his martial phiz, Superior birth to show;

“Pish!

” was a favourite word of his, And he often said “Ho!

ho!

” FULL-PRIVATE JAMES described might be, As a man of a mournful mind;

No characteristic trait had he Of any distinctive kind.

From the ranks, one day, cried PRIVATE JAMES, “Oh!

MAJOR-GENERAL JOHN,

I’ve doubts of our respective names, My mournful mind upon.

“A glimmering thought occurs to me (Its source I can’t unearth), But I’ve a kind of a notion we Were cruelly changed at birth.

“I’ve a strange idea that each other’s names We’ve each of us here got on.

Such things have been,” said PRIVATE JAMES.

“They have!

” sneered GENERAL JOHN.

“My GENERAL JOHN, I swear upon My oath I think ’tis so—” “Pish!

” proudly sneered his GENERAL JOHN, And he also said “Ho!

ho!

” “My GENERAL JOHN!

my GENERAL JOHN!

My GENERAL JOHN!

” quoth he, “This aristocratical sneer upon Your face I blush to see!

“No truly great or generous cove Deserving of them names, Would sneer at a fixed idea that’s drove In the mind of a PRIVATE JAMES!

” Said GENERAL JOHN, “Upon your claims No need your breath to waste;

If this is a joke, FULL-PRIVATE JAMES, It’s a joke of doubtful taste.

“But, being a man of doubtless worth, If you feel certain quite That we were probably changed at birth, I’ll venture to say you’re right.

” So GENERAL JOHN as PRIVATE JAMES Fell in, parade upon;

And PRIVATE JAMES, by change of names, Was MAJOR-GENERAL JOHN.